Mike McQueary. I know some of you are scratching your heads and thinking, 'why does that name sound familiar?' My brother's not and he's probably thinking he's going to have to kick me three ways sideways after reading this. My brother, well, actually two of them, like any Penn State graduates knows all too well who Mike McQueary is. Mike McQueary is a former Penn State quarterback, a former Penn State recruiting coordinator, and of course, the former player of the infamous Joe Paterno who witnessed Jerry Sandusky sexually abusing a teenage boy in the coaches' shower at Penn State in 2001. He is also, per any account that you can read on the internet, hear on the news on any channel or radio station, the most ostracized person in the history of the Penn State football legacy. Yes, possibly even more than Jerry Sandusky himself. In fact, not just possibly, but probably. Very high probability considering that he has filed a $4M lawsuit against Penn State for being blackballed since his whistleblowing days. He hasn't been able to find a job coaching, anywhere. The new coach at Penn State wouldn't even grant him an interview. But was he THE "whistleblower"? There were other witnesses--a Penn State janitor who told plenty of other janitorial staff what he'd witness Sandusky doing. Like McQueary, he witnessed this some time ago. There were 10 victims that we know of. THAT WE KNOW OF. Keywords there. The 10 victims were from the late 90s to when the bastard finally was busted, but Jerry Sandusky founded his precious foundation to help these at risk kids in the 1970s. We all know that pedophiles don't just start one day magically; the medical community has proven over and over that the predilection to become a pedophile is typically from suffering from or observing such abuse oneself at a young age. That leaves a potential of 20 years of victims in the background noise of the Penn State football legacy. But no one wants to talk about that, and neither do I. I want to talk about Mike McQueary, or the conundrum that Mike McQueary faced. Ok, maybe a salting of one to confront the other.
Mike McQueary walked in on what we now know to be Victim #2 being sexually assaulted by Jerry Sandusky. We know it was after hours. Everyone had gone home. McQueary had only come back to this fateful scene because he had forgotten something, and since he lived pretty close, well, it wasn't a stretch for him to run back and get anything. So here you are, walking into what you believe to be an empty locker room and staff area, and you hear the shower running. It's supposed to be empty. Would you get curious? Yes, I suspect you would. I know I would. I'd probably go see who it was. So you get closer and you hear odd noises. I suspect your curiosity might get the better of you. I could say mine wouldn't, but I couldn't tell you honestly unless faced with that situation. Let's say the noises sound off, not right, in a way that draws you in. We've all gone to horror movies, we know what's coming, but we all follow the main character (or the fall guy) right to the end of the hallway, don't we? So here's Mike McQueary following the inevitable to the end of that perverbial hallway. Look around the corner. It's not Jason or Freddy Krueger. No, it's worse. It's worse than a mass murderer slicing up pig liver for your viewing entertainment. It's a man on a boy, a child being sexually assaulted. What would you do? McQueary, from his own account, walked away, stunned. Who are we to say we would do anything different? It's one of those moments that none of us would want to be in, and in all honesty have a hard time fathoming how we would react. We all want to say we would do the "right thing" then and there. Punch his *ss out, save the kid, be the hero. Who can't see a college football star doing this? A big man, 6'4" in stature, we can all see this...in the movies in our heads. This is not the crap they make any horror movies we've ever seen, although arguably it's far more terrifying. In the reality, who of us would actually leap all over this enchanting opportunity? It's simple to say that we would come in, guns blazing, white stallion, Rocky right out of the ring, but this situation is outside the norm. It's so far out of any remotest of remote definition of norm. In fact, it's so far out from anything that most of us have ever observed that it would probably be a tad arrogant for any of us to say that we would handle the immediate situation any differently. We most certainly would be shocked and our response is likely to vary, but no one of us could say definitively what we do. So it seems a tad sad that anyone should judge Mike McQueary for not running to the aid of this victim immediately. As Sandusky's 4th victim testified in the sentencing hearing, "I will ask the others (victims) after me to forgive me for not coming forward sooner." I suspect that is all anyone in their situation could ask. Hindsight is always 20-20, and Mike McQueary, knowing there were another 8 victims, that we know of, after, well, it has to haunt the man. I'm positive it would me. Wouldn't it haunt you if you were in his shoes?
Of course, those that are still malcontent will point out that McQueary didn't tell anyone until the next day. He did actually tell someone--lots of someones. He told Joe Paterno, he told the Athletics' Director of Penn State, he told the President of Penn State. Then, they'll point out he didn't tell the police. Well, now that's the smoking gun, isn't it? Or is it? How many of us have observed something sh*tty and then left it sit because we didn't want people to ostracize us? It's hard to think of a 6'4", former college quarterback, the hero by sheer grooming, to be worried about losing his job, being ostracized or what people might think or say about him. Is it? We all want to fit in, and be part of something. It's one of the prime ingredients in the essence of human nature. That same desire to not be ostracized, isolated from the "popular" crowd, scarred a leper for not doing what everyone else is or wants us to be doing. Well, that's the stuff that "mean girls" movies are made of, what makes simple, honest citizens go along with Auschwitz, and although we don't like to admit it, that's what we're made of. We all want to belong. Do we really have the right to judge McQueary? He didn't do anything different than the janitor who didn't want to lose his job--or the people that heard what the janitor saw or what McQueary saw. Was it criminal not doing the morally "right" thing? If we start that standard, everyone of us will end up in jail. He should have gone to police. With everyone telling him he was wrong, with his great mentor, former coach and friend, Joe Paterno telling him he was wrong, with him telling himself he had to be wrong....afterall, who, what kind of monster, would do what he saw? It would be a hard pill for anyone to swallow. That's just a fact. Mike McQueary isn't much different than 85% of the people I've met. Being part of the crowd is more important for a lot of them than their own dignity, so it'd probably be wise to be proud that he still did the right thing initially--although a complete "right" thing would've been going to the police. The pressure to conform can exact that much power.
Now imagine that power. Imagine Jerry Sandusky telling Joe Paterno and all of these others, hell, even his own wife, that he had done nothing of the sort. Perhaps, probably, hell most likely, defending McQueary and defining this young man as possibly a tad deluded with a subtle sling of a word here or there. An attention monger or angry because he wasn't the bestest of the bestest but he was still good. All those things that jack*sses deem upon their opposition to get others to fall in line. And let's face it, Jerry Sandusky has the innocent act down pat. The innocent look on his face, the soft voice and even temperment, the seemingly confidence and agreement--all the time truly scheming how to hold this man down. Jerry Sandusky couldn't have this man McQueary going off to another college or university to spew off these truths. He needed McQueary where he could keep his eyes on him and he probably feigned how great Mike McQueary was--not because McQueary wasn't--but because Sandusky couldn't risk the truth running around outside of a flock of people that he had completely fooled into believing and defending him. Think about that. We're so sure that we understand why Mike McQueary stayed. When we talk about abusive people, they have to maintain control. Consider that Jerry Sandusky had to maintain control over Mike McQueary. If he had gone to coach at another Big 10 school, Jerry Sandusky might have ended up with a full blown investigation going on behind his back, never allowing him to know it was coming until after it was done. The pedophile certainly couldn't have that. I'm sure Sandusky made sure that Mike McQueary kept his job. Mike McQueary--just as much a victim, without even realizing it, his career under the thumb of Jerry Sandusky and the amazing innocent act. The best part of it all to Sandusky--not the control, not the safety--but the fact that he owned this man's career. Paterno and the rest acting on his word...
The fact is that we all know abusive, crazy and/or control freaks that would act like this. In fact, what's worse, is in these moments, we often are just thankful it's someone else instead of us. I'm sure a few of the junior coaches that might have and that now definately believe that Jerry Sandusky is guilty think to themselves 'Thank God it was Mike and not me.' The problem is that when you let someone like Jerry Sandusky, or anyone that is such an abusive *ss, continue for months, years, decades on their merry little way, they don't give up doing "bad" things on their own. At some point, someone has to make the stand. Mike McQueary, along with others, made that stand, and we in our nature blame the messenger. Why would anyone come forward to try and bring an *sshole to their reckoning when in sheer effect the messenger faces reckoning themselves? We can say we would have never done what Mike McQueary did. Yet, we all know people that have watched someone sexually harassed at work, or bullied in school, or put down by jealous people. And, worse yet, we all know that a mass majority of us did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Mike McQueary did nothing less than anyone that has been in one of these situations. In fact, he finally did more than they have. When you look at Mike McQueary consider that his situation is the conundrum of doing the right thing over "not getting involved". We all have "not gotten involved" at some point. Then consider, are you really that special to say that his conundrum would not be your own?
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