80% are lying about their age by 5 or more years. Since only 10% of us look better than our age and 10% look worse, yea, no way 80% of them look 50-55 and are 45. Uh yea.
Seriously, some of the "45" year olds look like they are trying to relive the 70s in their pictures, particularly with their hair. Yes, darling you still have hair but you are not Justin Beiber. Look like a damn adult.
Ok, a goatee is so 10-15 years ago. It can look hot on a biker. If you're not a biker, it just looks like you can't afford a razor.
Likewise with mustaches. Stuck in the 1880s, a 1970s porno, or a bad rendition of Hitler. Next.
Guy posts in his profile "looking for a good woman" but selected that he's looking for "casual fun". Ummm, yes, darling, you do realize most "good women" are not the "casual fun" types. Translation. He's not looking for a good woman. He's looking for whatever will fall on its back on the first date.
46, never married, no children and posts he's "not picky". Ok, he's never been married and never had any kids and he's not picky? So he's still in love with the game, he really is picky or he's really a total loser and you seriously don't want to know how bad.
All head shots from his computer. Big smile, good looking, a pretty husky in the background noise, nice touches in the background picture that scream woman's touch. Married, physical issues he doesn't want you to know about and/or living at home with his parents. Next.
Half of his pictures are sideways. Not smart enough to flip his photos 90 degrees or to even notice he needs to. Next.
"2hard2handle"...either reference is ridiculous. Since he's not that good looking, let's go with he a difficult *ss that has issues. Not really interested in what those issues are.
Separated. The word alone screams issues. Period. Separated means not currently emotionally available and looking for tail, hoping that you will fall on your back in the first 5 minutes of the "date" because he's paying legal fees on top of whatever expenses he has. He can't afford a cheap prostitute; he's hoping internet dating means he can find a free one.
The LL Cool J look. Come on we all know it. The hand to the chin. The solid player pose. Even white guys use it in their pics. Player or wanna be player. Either way, he thinks he's a player. Next.
No. Black & White photos do not hide your crow's feet that are moving down your cheekbones to your ears. (45 my dying *ss.)
Grizzly Adams was not "sexy" in the 70s. He's still not sexy. That mountain man look is amusing, but most women do not want to be turned away from a nice restaurant because the hostess thinks something is going to crawl out of your facial hair.
Post "family oriented, faithful and believe in karma". Translation. My wife cheated on me, I wasn't the reason (at least not from his point of view) and more importantly it screams: "Still not over it!" Next.
"I enjoy church" and 4 out of 5 pics are drinking with buddies and in bars. Yes, dear, I'm sure you enjoy church, but something in the pics screams hypocrite.
Harley pics. I'm just amazed at how many guys, particularly the geeky looking ones, that have their main pic of them with their bikes. It's not working anymore in the bars; it's probably not going to work online.
Pics with the former (or current for that matter) girlfriend or wife cut out. Her hair is the same in all 3 photos. Yes, either a cheater or recently separated or divorced or has no life and is hoping for you to make all his dreams come true. Phew. That sounds like too much work.
Pics of tattoos. I've seen some awesome ink work online and a lot of it, most of it, has been on dating websites. I get it. You don't want to be judged, but some of the things people tat themselves with are really too weird without an explanation of why you have it. A giant squid crushing something?? No matter how cool looking, it's also little creepy without explanation. Yea, should've stopped at blurb "have tattoos".
Asked to describe his "perfect match": "a young lady...who isn't influenced by books, doesn't say how independent she is...would prefer someone at least 21." 42, never married, never had children. I'm shocked!! Never married and never had children? Translation: "Looking for dumb 21 year old, who isn't her own woman, who can't read and preferably does exactly what I tell her to do." Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Thanks for the wink, but I'll pass.
"Stubborn but very devoted". But? So stubborn and very devoted. Translation: Stalker.
"Just split up from the "one"...looking to pick up the pieces." Don't have the time Humpty Dumpty. On the bright side, he's honest. Pass.
And for the finale, my personal favorite: "Open marriage and looking...even the best relationships are only satisfying to a certain degree. I need you to be the other 5-10%...pic is not really me, for obvious reasons." WTF?!?! Ok, I appreciate the honesty, but WTF?!?! And if the wifey knows, then why pic not really you? WTF?!?! Buy a hooker sweetie. If you were good looking enough and had enough money there would plenty of women you could find that would be ok with that arrangement. I know you're lonely. I know why you're lonely. Now go away.
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