The oh-so UN-Affordable Care Act.

I had writer's block this morning. Until I saw the pricing released for the Affordable Care Act. For a single 27 year old making $46K a Bronze Plan will cost up to $209/month (depending on the cost of living where you live). The average should be $163/mo. The Bronze Plan is what most of us would consider a barebones plan from our employers. At $46K, a single 27 year old will not be eligible for any tax credits for his/her healthcare plan. Now, before you go "whoa, that's pretty good"...

Two years ago, for the PPO plan ("Premium" plan per Obamacare), I was paying around $240-260 a month for a plan covering me and children through my employer. The "Bronze" equivalent would've cost me about $160/mo....again, for a family of four. My employer at that time offered two cost levels--one for people making gross over $50K and one for people making less than $50K. That was my cost at over $50K. So, let me put it this way. That's not looking good to me.

If I'm the 27 year old single guy making $46K, I'm probably gainfully employed by a company that offers (or offered) good to great health insurance. Again, using the same gauge, he would've been paying about half of what I was paying for the kids and me. About half for the "Premium" plan--$120-130/mo. For the barebones plan, he would have been paying about $60-80/mo. So ummm, yea, affordable?

Ok, so maybe he should be paying more. He's at $46K gross. Which puts him at about 30% tax rate if he doesn't own a house with a mortgage payment. His weekly take home before investments, bills, and healthcare should be over $600/week. So what if he's paying double what he would've been paying two years ago. It's still only a third of his weekly take home. Spread the wealth?

So, at $25K, the pricing for the Bronze average price drops to $87/mo. Oh, right, after the applicable tax credits. I'm assuming here that the tax credits are being included immediately. Of course, the definition of tax credit is that you get that "back" from the government after you pay out the full price ($163 average/mo) and file your taxes. This is a logical assumption since the amount of the credit is actually based on the gross income at the end of the year. Nothing yet I've read insinuates that the credit might be immediate, so for the time being, the single 27 year old guy is still paying the $163, even at the $25K annual income. But he's going to get it back the following January to April, so let's go with $87/mo. Assuming his income is taxed at 20% (lower income level), his weekly take home will be about $384. So, just shy of a quarter of his weekly take home for the barebones plan and at $25K, he may or may not have a job that affords him healthcare. Sounds affordable.

Now, figure that the average rent in the USA is $1200/mo for a two bedroom apartment. With a roommate, the average single 27 year old should be spending with rent and utilities and cell phone (paying for his/her own) should have bills of approximately $800/mo. Assuming, which in our country unless living in a major city, he/she must own a car, gas and upkeep is an average of $400/mo. So, the average 27 year old should be paying $1200 mo without food. Assume ramen noodles and fast food on the run--add $200/mo. $1400/mo. At $384 take home per week equals $1664 take home per month. Tell me what you're going to with your extra $260/month? Half of it for health insurance or a even just a third of it? Really?!?!?!

Now assume that he has a health issue. He can no longer pay for his "affordable" insurance. It is cancelled immediately. Now, he pays penalties for no longer having health insurance and is still responsible for the health care co-pays with that "fancy" (feel the sarcasm) Bronze plan and all other associated costs......and because Medicaid funding is being cut with the new Affordable Care Act....he is screwed. (NOTE: I switched to he, because I just came across a note that a female of child bearing age would need to pay more for "female" coverage.)

Let's skip that for a second. Average increase per family of four that get their insurance from employers is reported to be $7500/year. They will also see a reduction in plan benefits by up to 30% according to most companies. This is because of the Premium Plan tax. Companies must pay a luxury tax for offering "Platinum" plans. Probably ultimately making "Platinum" plans like PPO plans a thing of the past. NOW, here's the current average cost of Medicaid for the average family of four through taxes: $5000. OH YES! The Affordable Care Act costs an extra $7500 per year per family of 4, with NO REDUCTION in the taxes we already pay!!!! In fact, they are starting to defund that $5K per family from Medicaid to pay for the ACA (aka. Obamacare). So, basically, by 2016, the average family of 4 will be paying (assuming no increase from the current $7500/year increase) $12500 per year for the new Affordable Care Act.

BUT, Medicaid is a broken system, right? Average cost per enrollee nationwide (as of 2010): $5563. Yup. For real. The Kaiser Foundation keeps track. (http://kff.org/medicaid/state-indicator/medicaid-payments-per-enrollee/)

Something else you probably didn't know: The Affordable Care Act increases the number of people eligible for Medicaid. Yup. Anyone below poverty level times 133%. At the same time, it also defunds Medicaid funding to the states. Yup. Not sure how that will work out.

SO, back to that whole example of the 27 year old fellow that was making $25K a year, became sick, and needs help. He'll probably still be able to get into the Medicaid system, which he would've been able to do either way by the above paragraph. But it is at the discretion of his state and the funding cuts that they will be dealing with. But hey let's say for shits and grins, no Obamacare, no Medicaid cuts....What are the average costs for him today under Medicaid? (Taken from: http://www.medicaid.gov/Medicaid-CHIP-Program-Information/By-Topics/Cost-Sharing/Cost-Sharing-Out-of-Pocket-Costs.html)

FY 2013 Maximum Nominal Copayment Amounts

State payment for service	FY 2013 Maximum copayment
$10 or less	$0.65
$10.01 to $25	$1.30
$25.01 to $50	$2.60
$50.01 or more	$3.90

FY 2013 Maximum Nominal Deductible and Managed Care Copayment Amounts

Deductible	$2.65
Managed Care Copayment	$3.90

MAXIMUM ALLOWABLE COPAYMENTS FOR FY 2013

Services and Supplies	Eligible Populations by Family Income
	<100 font="" fpl="">	101-150 FPL	>150FPL
Institutional Care (inpatient hospital care, rehab care, etc.)	50% of cost for 1st day of care	50% of cost for 1st day of care or 10% of cost	50% of cost for 1st day of care or 20% of cost
Non-Institutional Care (physician visits, physical therapy, etc.)	$3.90	10% of costs	20% of costs
Non-emergency use of the ER	$3.90	$7.80	No limit
Drugs                          Preferred drugs	$3.90	$3.90	$3.90
Non-preferred drugs	$3.90	$3.90	20% of cost

Tell me again how affordable the Affordable Care Act is.   Please.  

(OH YES, THAT IS DEFINATELY SARCASM.  DO NOT TELL ME HOW DAMN AFFORDABLE OBUMMERCARE IS.)

Sarcastic Rants for Laughs (or maybe not)

This is simply a rant for entertainment (or not) only.  So here goes (WARNING: content may be offensive--if you get offended, I don't care, you should've stopped here):

I think that Popeye's has the best fast food chicken. Bojangles is bland. KFC never has enough meat on the bones; they must be using those free range chickens that eat their own poop. Are there any other fast food fried chicken chains? Who cares? Popeye's is the best. Argue with me all you want; you'll still be wrong.

Kids should be punished with spankings.  Seriously.  All that mumbo jumbo crap about hug and love your kids and as teenagers they will turn out great is ridiculous.  One woman I know has a son that she likes to brag she never spanked him.  Yep, and by the time he was 15, he had been arrested 3 times for shop lifting (that's caught, just imagine how many times he got away with it) and twice for vandalism of people's homes (spray painting someone's garage).  Ok, my kids aren't angels, but at least I tried to make them good citizens by teaching them right from wrong. 

Your right might be my wrong.  My right might be your wrong.  As long as it's not hurting anyone or their belongings or breaking the law, I don't care about your right or wrong, so you shouldn't care about mine. 

I don't care what you say about all the wanna-be divas of the last 30 years.  No diva was ever a better diva than the original disco diva herself:  Diana Ross.  No.  Shush.  You know I'm right and I don't wanna hear it!

I think organized religion is stupid.  I've never met so many closed minded, group think hypocrites in my life than people that take organized religion too seriously.  Killing people or kill doctors and other medical personnel to prove no one should kill "people" that haven't been born yet?  God wants you to picket people's funerals?  God wants you to hate people that have tattoos, ride motorcycles, dress differently than you, speak differently than you, are of a different race?  If God is our parent, don't all parents wish their children would just get along? 

I think if you're in high school right now and not university bound, plan on going to learn a trade at a community college at bare minimum. Plumbers, pipe fitters, welders, auto techs, et cetera will make as much as any average 4 year degree graduate. Don't limit yourself. You're better than that no matter what you think or have ever been told.
   
I think most fast food hamburgers suck. The new McDonald's quarter pounders aren't too bad, but I'd rather go to Chili's or some place like that for a burger.

Starbuck's is overpriced, mamsy-pamsy coffee.  Who the hell spends $5 on a cup of joe?  I mean seriously, how stupid are people?  Oh right, I'll have a mocha latte grande with soy and the whipped cream topping.

I think that politicians are liars.  God, assuming you believe in a God, will forgive us for being stupid children, and I can too.  I forgive politicians all the time...that I like.  Although in all honesty, if I catch them in a lie, I downgrade the trust factor.  I haven't actually met, watched, listened or read a politician that I haven't been able to find incongruencies (little lies) at minimum to bold face lies flying out of their pea brains and stupid mouths.  Good thing organized religion hasn't started thinking we should start killing liars.  All the politicians would be dead within a week, and probably 80% of the planet's population by the end of next month.  Whew.  Breath easy lying crap asses.

I don't think that someone who has a high school diploma and no education beyond should be able to assemble a plastic door (or any other part) and get paid more than a person with a four year degree after only working four years out of high school.  (And then we wonder why so few kids go to college...)

Newspapers used to be awesome, but we've become too lazy to read them anymore.  Shame too.  When they are totally a thing of the past what will we use for house training our dogs?

I really don't want to see any more 10 minute television ads about starving, homeless children in Himlayawazahootchie.  There are plenty of homeless and starving people here in the USA.  Can we take care of our own first? 

I like to live in my rose colored bubble where my world always has a bright side, where life gets better and nothing is ever as bad as it seems.  If you choose to live in a shithouse where everything is negative, you've always got something to bitch about and you like to wallow away in a miserable existence, well, good for you.  Just don't do anything to f*** up my rosy bubble and karma won't crush your shithouse in on you. 

Subway kinda sucks.  No really.  Too much bread, too little meat, and kinda expensive for what you get.  Just sayin'. 

If it's healthy for you, it should not have to taste like *ss.  No wonder we eat so much crap. 

I think that gays should be able to get married...and not like some stupid dude joke about letting them be as miserable as we heteosexuals can be when we marry.  We should let them marry because you don't choose who you fall in love with. I don't care about your religious arguments.  We live the United States of America--land of the religious freedom.  Let two people in love marry.  They don't believe in your God, and you don't believe in theirs either.  No harm, no foul.

I think that beer is better cold.  Europeans have it so wrong.  It's always better cold.  Water is better with ice too.  Sometimes the best things in life are cold.  Ask a snowboarder if you don't believe me. 

Burger King sucks. That whole flame broiled thing only counts if it's in a backyard. From Burger King it's a flimsy undersized burger that tastes like propane ash. Even my propane grilled burger using flimsy pre-formed burgers tastes better.

Money isn't the root of all evil.  People are the root of all evil.  If you've ever once crammed your religion down someone's throat, even your own children, yep, you.  If you've ever thought less of someone because they weren't "like" you--not as much money, not as good looking, more good looking, more money, nicer ass, fatter ass, drink more, drink less, go to church, don't go to church...well you get the picture right?  You pre-judged anyone for any reason and never had the good sense to think "this isn't them; this is me", then you are probably a schmuck that is part of the evil in the world.  Yes, that includes me; we have all been guilty at one time or another. 

Everything you read on the internet is not true.  Don't believe me?  Join Match.com and you'll find out that at least one third of everything that you read on the internet is completely made up. 

I think fat free foods are ridiculous.  Anything that is fat free has artificial preservatives.  I believe God (yes, I believe in God) provided for us just fine.  Sugar cane is God's gift.  Eat it.  That asawasaohmeouohmy humpdinkwalladingdong crap that you can barely pronounce on the label is no better than how easy it is to pronounce.  Su-gar.  See?  Easy schmeesy. 

I'm not ignoring you if I don't answer your call.  No one is always ignoring you.  Ok, some of you actually are always on ignore.

Why do churches collect and spend millions upon millions of dollars so that people's butts don't get sore sitting through 45 minutes of sermon? Or $1.2 MILLION on a giant cross? $300K on fancy windows? $75K on a fancy sound system? $90.5M on making religion entertaining? What could $1.2M, 300K, $91M do in a community? Build a homeless shelter and keep it running for years? Update public elderly care facilities for the poor that public funding is rarely available for normal upkeep, let alone improvements? I understand a new church facility might cost a couple hundred thousand dollars, even half a million, but really $1.2M on a giant idol of no use whatsoever, even when your religion teaches that such idolatry is a sin? The hypocrisy that abounds in organized religion just amazes me.  

The worst thing to happen to Halloween was that idiot that decided to start putting razor blades in apples.  I remember when the old lady down the street made homemade popcorn balls and all of us kids would hit her house over and over and over until she ran out.  She was nice.  Remember when we weren't worried about going through all of our kids' candy because she might be the witch from Hansel and Gretel.

Sometimes I don't feel like reading text messages or typing them.  If you're my kid and I'm calling you on the cell that I'm paying for, trust me, I do NOT feel like texting you. 

I'm not a fan of religion (duh), but "judge not lest ye be judged yourself".  Seriously, good advice...along with "live and let live", "never judge a book by its cover", and "let bygones be bygones". 

I think we sold chemical and nuclear weapons to the Middle East. Only an idiot wouldn't think we didn't have our dirty little paws in it somehow. And yes, I think the Russians (or old Iron Curtain countries) and/or China have their dirty little paws doing the same jacked up crap. If you think we and our Allies are innocent you might need an IQ test and we should eliminate you from the voting pool. Yes, I'm serious (unless I'm being sarcastic...you tell me).

Butter pecan ice cream is my favorite.  Unless, you have chocolate chip cookie dough, then that's my favorite.  Unless, you have raspberry white chocolate cheesecake ice cream, um, then yeah, that's my favorite. 

Movie theater popcorn is the best popcorn.  Unless it's Grams' oil popped over a fire (must be over a fire stove), thrown into a paperbag and shook with fresh butter and salt.  Nevermind, that doesn't exist anymore.  Movie theater popcorn is now the best popcorn. 

I think if you are upset that our President is black or wannabe black or mulato or a minority then you are a bigger idiot than any politician ever thought about being. There are so many real reasons to be upset at the current President of the United States--Obummercare, Benghazi, Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, the family ties to the Muslim Brotherhood (the real reason that he wants to go to friggin' Syria). Seriously if the color of his skin is the main reason you don't like him, please check yourself in where Walt Disney had his head froze and see if they can freeze you now for analysis in some distant future where scientists might be able to fix the fact you might be a racist idiot. 

Without the Yardbirds there would be no rock music like we have today.  Yet you probably don't even know who the Yardbirds were.  Shame on you.  Go look it up. 

I think if you think you are better than other people you're going to really hurt yourself eventually.  You won't think you did it, and neither will the rest of us.  We've given it a fancy name.  OK, the Buddhists gave it a fancy name.  It's called Karma. 

OK, that stupid chicken sandwich, you know the parts-is-parts, 5 inch long chicken sandwich from Burger King, it is good when they put it on sale for $2.  Ok, yes, it's good regardless.  They must add some secret pheromone that makes you want to eat it. 

I know you don't want a smart phone.  It's probably because it would be too embarassing to admit a piece of electronic junk is smarter than you are.  Get over it.  The mass majority of us have. 

If you abuse a woman (or a man for that matter) that loves you, please get counseling.  Seriously, GO get counseling.  You're a dumbass that needs fixing.  I don't care if it's the way you were raised, if you don't want to admit, if you genuinely think that it was for her (his) own good, what-the-f***-ever.  Go to counseling and start treating that person with the respect that any human being deserves. 

Dairy Queen ice cream sucks, unless it's a soft serve cone with chocolate and sprinkles, then it completely rocks!!!

Caribou coffee is NOT as good as Starbuck's.  No discussion.

If you're a woman that doesn't like men, you're the problem.  If you're a man that hates all women, you're the problem.  I don't hate all men because my ex cheated on me.  Hell, I don't even hate him.  If you've hated on other people because of an ex, get over it.  Yes if the wound is fresh, easier said than done, I know.  But your ex is moving on; about time you did too. 

The greatest President of all time and why?  Too hard.  The greatest of the 1700s:  Only one makes it easy.  Washington, the Father of our Country.  1800s:  Lincoln.  Proved that government of the people and for the people shall not perish from the earth.  1900s:  Well this is kind of a toss.  Roosevelt for saving the free world and the Allies.  We're still paying for the New Deal to this day, so that keeps him from winning overall.  Reagan for ending the Cold War.  Reaganomics too.  Still a toss though.  Roosevelt was elected 4x, but still at the time not the most popular President and why we now have a two term limit (bet half of you didn't know that).  Reagan was the most popular President in his second election of all time.  Of course we still pay for a lot of Reagan's poor and downtrodden programs to this day too.  Yep.  A toss.   2000s:  No, we won't go there.  There's only 2 to choose from and history is still being written. 

Mowing the lawn sucks.

Pretty much all household chores suck.

Incidently, for those of you bragging on your Obama phones, it was actually President Reagan that implemented the phone program in the 80s for the poor and elderly to get home phones under a government program.  Obummer just thought if he expanded it to cell phones that the idiots that want a free ride would vote for him.  BINGO!!!

I'm not an Obama fan, but he is the President of the United States.  Show some respect for the Office of the President even if the idiot we elected can't.  Two wrongs do NOT make a right.

Best comedian of all time, well, comedians:  Abbott and Costello.  Ashame that they ended up not being friends in the end.  They were a hoot.  Don't know who they are?  You know "Who's on second?  What's on first?"  Ugh, really?  Look it up on YouTube.  At least this way, you'll end this blog with a laugh.

As adults we should realize we might want to have a friendship without a relationship

Recently, I had a conversation about former relationships.  Basic gist:  People that have dated and stayed friends are not "normal", and the only way it is if there was no "passion" in the relationship.  Otherwise, nope, supposedly, not possible.  Well, that makes me an oddity then, because I've remained friends with quite a few of the people that I've gone a few dates with and a handful that I've dated for months or even longer.  I personally find it ridiculous that most people can't remain cordial let alone friends.  I've even remained very good friends with a couple of guys I've dated.  My friend's counselor supposedly even went so far as to say it isn't healthy.  Really?  I've had to mull this over.  The counselor told my friend that it would be ok if the people that had been dating had "no passion"'; otherwise, it would be impossible.  It's not the advice I would give, and I've been in counseling before and I know it is not the advice that she would've given me.  OK...so let's talk about this, because frankly, it has annoyed me to no end.  

Of course the first thing I do, is run it by some friends.  Quite a few of my closest friends agree with me.  It's ludicrious to think that two grown adults, mature and healthy, couldn't remain cordial or even friends.  Teenagers usually have very dramaed up break-ups and often find it difficult to remain friends, but wait.  I'm still friends with the guy I dated in high school.  Not like besties or anything, but we comment on each other's Facebooks on occasion and when I'm in town, we might end up having a beer at a local hangout because we share a lot of common friends.  He's been happily married for years...I think even just had his 25th?  Regardless, why in the heck would it matter if we are friends or not?  I know I have some very fond memories of us back in the day, but we were kids.  Everyone knows puppy love comes with an expiration date.  In fact, out of my closest friends, I know of three besides myself that are still really good friends with their former high school sweethearts and two have been happily married to other men for more than a decade.  Maybe we are the oddities in a world that views everything as throw-away.

Everything is becoming throw-away anymore--including people.  So I thought, 'what would make someone throw-away to me?'  One of my best friends, Mary, pointed out that I've got a heart of gold and let people off the hook for their transgressions, particularly ones that I've dated.  I just don't see the point in holding a grudge and I certainly don't see the point in tossing people out because they don't fit every little requirement I may or may not have.  I have a friend that after I spend about 2 hours with her I am ready to walk away.  We've been friends for years.  If I met her now, I'd probably be friends with her, but we'd probably never reach the point of good friends that we are.  She's a bit shallow, self-absorbed, and frankly, not always a good friend.  She can be though. I've watched her come through in a pinch for me and for a couple of her other friends, so not really all bad.  Like anyone else, she has her positives and her negatives.  I don't want to live with her negatives, but I don't have to.  Her positives make up for the negatives, and if she gets really annoying when we're out doing something, I can go home.  It's different in a relationship.  You have to eventually be able to live with the person--who they are, both good and bad, annoying or not.  I've got a couple of good friends that I dated in the past.  One, well, he passed away recently.  The blog dedicated to him explains why he wasn't good for me.  "One rotten apple can spoil the barrel," my Grams would say.  Well, yes, but it also depends on the barrel.  If the barrel is a monogomous, life long committed relationship, a guy with a drinking problem isn't the best choice.  If the barrel is someone who came into your life and made it brighter, although not someone who could make it brighter all the time, well, that's what most of our friends are.  They have imperfections; we have imperfections.  Often we accept our friends at face value.  Sometimes, we don't accept the people that we date at face value, and I think that's a shame.  Sometimes, the people we've dated make the better friends.  They know who we are without expecting anything, because we already know that didn't work.  

I'm not saying that being friends with someone that I've dated has been all easy, but in general, I've had more problems with guys that have been my "friends" only to try and date me than I have with the guys I've dated that ended up being friends.  Usually overcoming the fact that it didn't work is a hurdle that takes a little time to jump over.  Some people refuse to jump over it, like a mule refusing to cross a ditch.  The more you try to get them there, the muddier you end up.  In those cases, I tell myself to cut them loose.  Friendship shouldn't be that much effort.  But, truly, it's usually the guys pretending to be my friends that have been the most frustrating.  I always know who they are when I start dating someone new.  They get stand-off-ish, pouty and start intentionally standing up plans that we make.  Often they forget that I am part of the group, and that football game we were all going to watch is now the football game that the rest of the group is going to watch without me.  I know, I have female friends that get all pouty sometimes if I have a new man too, but guess what the major difference is with them and my "real" guy friends?  They don't make me feel guilty unless I actually blow them off.  They still make plans with me; they still want to hang out.  So yes, having friends of the opposite sex can actually be a hassle whether you've dated them or not.  But my female friends can be too, so toe-mae-toe, toe-mah-toe. 

Not that I'm friends with everyone that I've ever dated.  A couple of dinner dates, nothing in common, and poof, lost their phone number and quit answering their calls.  The ones that were a little more, some of them not really friends with, well, because you discover there's really nothing there--no common ground for a friendship, let alone a relationship.  But I think a lot of people make relationships a constant drama.  They're not happy unless nobody is happy.  I've dated a couple like that.  It was so much work just trying to be friends with them that it wasn't worth the time, frustration or aggrevation.  Of course, I'm still polite-ish if I see them.  I'll say hello, exchange a couple of niceties and go on my merry little way.  Perhaps that counselor thinks that everyone is like this.  Every relationship that doesn't work long term is time draining, frustrating, aggrevating and should be tossed out with the trash.  Of course, if the person cheated, stole from you, treated you like a doormat, well, it's a given that they were not worth the time, frustration or aggrevation.  I've watched women hit on men with rings on or that is with another woman, I've watched how aggrevated the women can get by their men acting like dogs--I've even been one of those women ready to jerk a choke chain on the cheating dog.  But I've got an Alex-ism for you:  "If you can take him, you can have him, because he isn't worth having."  I'm not friends with guys that have put me in that awkward position, and in some cases I'd rather jerk my own teeth out with a pair of needle nose pliers with ginsu knife edges than even say hello to one of them.  Some people aren't worth the effort, ever. 

Still there are those that are worth the effort as friends.  There are those times though that something didn't work out, and even though the effort would be worth it, the way it didn't work out just makes it too painful to be friends.  I've had one of those.  I'll just be thankful it was only one.  You've got nothing bad to say about them, you still wish them well, but you can't bring yourself to be a mature adult about it.  Again, I've had one.  I just can't bring myself to be a mature adult about it.  I've had a couple of emotionally and one physically abusive relationships.  Time heals all wounds?  Yes, I can be nice and polite to all of them as needed.  But that one that some people would call the "one that got away".  Nope.  Don't want to cross that bridge, dread the bridge because I couldn't act like a mature adult when it crashed and burned.  Not sure that I could now.  Still, even though the counselor's advice to my friend might sound viable in the one instance, it just doesn't seem to apply in any of the other situations.  It just sounds like a teenager trying to tell me how black and white a relationship is.  Friendships aren't black and white; why the hell would relationships be? 

Someone told me once that staying friends with someone you've dated shows several things about you:  One, you've matured into an adult.  An adult understands and accepts that everyone has limitations and limits and that standard of met limitations and limits is far lower for a friendship than a relationship.  Two, it shows that you're capable of caring without getting vengeful.  A lot of people become vengeful when they've broken up with someone.  Vengeful behavior ends any possibility of maintaining a friendship even within friendships let alone after a relationship.  People that are vengeful have no way of mending the bridges.  Three, it gives you hope.  Not hope that you can be with the person you broke it off with or that broke it off with you, but hope in the human race.  Granted, friendship after a broken relationship takes time.  It doesn't go from broken to healed overnight and sometimes distance or time away is good.  But as society has become so petty and convoluted, it may have taken the one thing that we all need to remember.  The world may be full of people, but it's a very small place in reality.  Life long relationships start as a small spark and grow.  If at some point they end (without cheating, abuse, et cetera), then there was a reason that person was part of your life and you might not want to lose that part even though you found a part that you couldn't make a long term commitment to. 

losing it...weight that is...

Admittedly, my damn metabolism has slowed down.  Drastically.  I used to be able to eat anything and not gain a size--even well into my twenties.  Then babies made it a little more difficult, but working out 3 times a week for a half an hour and drinking lots of water and fat was at bay.  Then, it needed to be 5 days.  Then it was 5 days, 45 minutes a day.  Of course, I've tried lots of various things to substitute the working out.  I'm just like any other overworked, tired, wore out, stressed, lazy person on the planet.  Looking for the easiest way out.  So, what has and hasn't worked?  Here we go:

One, it's all very dependent upon your body type.  No "diet", in fact, let's not call it diet--let's call it nutritional plan, no nutritional plan will work for everyone.  Rabbit food plans work for people that have been accustomed to eating a lot of ruffage.  My body tells me it is starving all the time when I am strictly eating lettuce and rabbit food, and raw greens most of the time will tear up my stomach.  I've also become lactose intolerant in my old age, about the equivalent to two slices of cheese is my limit before the lactose makes me feel like I've got motion sickness.  Of course, I can take Motrin to end any misery at all, but taking too much Motrin isn't good for us either.  Cooked vege's, potatoes and meat--beef, preferably, are my body's favorite foods.  Seafood is always acceptable too, but some seafood has no real flavor so the seasoning becomes very important.  Sea cod is really good for me--but without some lemon juice, pepper and some fresh parsley or some cajun spicing, well, yuk.  So needless to say, I'm a nutrionalist's nightmare.  I'm eating no matter what.

Energy drinks actually will work, but that jumpy feeling is terrible.  Red Bull has a lot of sugar, and Sugar Free Red Bull has aspartame.  So here's where we're going to start.  STAY AWAY from ASPARTAME.  It's been proven that it causes our bodies to think we are starving for sugar.  So ultimately our bodies will pack on the weight to make up for that loss.  In fact, a recent study conducted over 10 years showed that people that drink diet soda gained an average of 70% more weight than people that drank regular soda.  No matter what the nutritionalists say about corn syrup it's better than aspartame.  If you don't mind jumpy, I recommend Xyience energy drinks.  They're the least harmful of the Monster, Red Bull, et cetera set.  They do help drop a little weight and maintain your current weight.  But the downside is the minute you stop drinking them, you're weight will go up.  Also, do not drink more than one a day and do not mix with other diet pills or energy pills.  No energy drink is truly healthy for you. 

Pills and powders will not work long term. They can jump start the weight loss, but a lot of them make me jumpy as hell. I hate that feeling.  One of the most popular, Hydroxycut, gets a little better results when used with working out.  But that jump varies by person and our individual metabolism.  Don't waste your money.  My results with it and a slew of other products was the basically the same as just working out.  Sensa, on the other hand, was amazing.  I was dropping 5 pounds a month like magic.  By the 4th month though, I was getting pounding headaches.  I counted calories and was taking in more than 1200 calories so it wasn't lack of food or water.  It was my response to the Sensa.  I suspect that if you're mostly fat cell weight that Sensa works much better, but since I'm a lot of muscle mass, that once I had reached below 20% body fat (which ladies is considered normal for us) that my body didn't like the Sensa anymore.  Regardless, the minute something is making you sick in any way, shape or form, cease using it.  A friend of mine had a lot of luck with OxyElitePro pills, so I tried them. First, do not take more than one a day. You'll starve yourself. Second, they won't work for everyone. Some will get the jitters. Monitor your heart rate for the first few days you use it to make sure it doesn't mess with you.  It didn't effect my heart rate, and they give me energy first thing in the morning. Thing is that they are mostly caffeine--so if you try them, stay off the coffee and the caffinated soda. I'm not sure that they've helped as far as fat cell elimination, but they have helped me feel energetic through my morning workout.  Also on the days that I've skipped working out, they have kept me from feeling "fat", although admittedly that could all be in my head.   

I've known quite a few people that have had a lot of luck on the protein shake diets.  I'm not calling them nutritional plans.  First and foremost, if you are not working out regularly, protein diets are not good for you.  You will need dietary vitamin supplements.  Thus, why programs like the V-whatever and other protein shake programs have a LOT of other shit for you to buy.  You need all that extra crap to remain healthy.  Don't buy it.  Protein is for building and maintaining muscle.  If you are not working out, you don't need as much protein as you would think.  The CDC recommends women have about 45 grams of protein a day and men have 55 grams.  The majority of protein bars are almost half of that.  Most of those protein shake diets are often more than half in one shake.  Now, if you're working out, that's a different story, but we'll cover that later.  Vegetarian nutritional plans are often lacking the protein needed.  One of those protein shake routines will probably be ok if you don't mind eating a lot of vegetables.  Also, they mix with a lot of sugar, fruits primarily, so you run the risk of taking in too much sugar.  Besides, these programs actually technically require you to work out. 

So that brings us to working out.  Women aren't going to like this.  If you've ever worked out a lot--5 or more days a week aerobics or running, former military, weight lifting (even mild), you will never drop weight if you aren't working out.  Sorry, no pills, no powders, no miracle diets or nutritional plans for you.  Muscle may break down and you'd think you can lose the size and weight that way.  It doesn't work.  You pudge out.  Once a workout-a-holic, always a workout-a-holic.  The best you can hope for is maintaining yourself with a mild routine.  Here's the good news though.  Even a mild routine can have you toning and losing fat cells.  Notice I don't say weight.  Muscle weighs way more than fat--muscle is almost 20% denser than fat, so take two people the exact same weight for example.  The person who doesn't work out will look considerably larger at the same weight.  Look at my picture.  My driver's license says I weigh 140 pounds; I actually weigh 165 lbs.  I wear a size 6 ladies.  For those ladies that have never worked out, you will drop fat like no tomorrow, but initially as muscle you've never had builds, you're going to be aching.  You're also going to gain weight unless you have so much fat cell weight that you can lose more fat cell weight than muscle building in the same period.  Yea, that isn't the majority of us.  The majority of women say up to a size 12 will gain weight as they lose size.  Get over it.  Measure yourself instead.  Take measurements on the lower thighs, the upper thighs (the "fatest" point), around the butt, around the hips, around the waist, below the breasts and around your arms.  If you've never worked out and you're working your arms with weights or push ups or pull ups, expect your arms to get more muscle.  In fact, unless you're really flabby armed or very overweight, your arms will likely get bigger.  Men.  Well, you guys can read one lousy article in Men's Health and drop weight and gain muscle.  Now here's where I recommend protein drinks--again no need to waste your money on the fancy protein diet plans and their automatic shipping scams--a basic protein powder.  I recommend ON protein powder.  It doesn't have the grittiness that often annoys us and the "coconut" flavor that can bother some isn't really as noticable as with other products.  Pretty much the same stuff as the fancy expensive protein diet shakes--only cheaper and you have a choice of whey or soy.  Ladies, the soy can have a negative impact on hormonal mood swings--so if you're not lactose intolerant, whey might be better.  (Another reason to avoid the protein shake diets is that they are almost exclusively soy based.)  Again, you don't need to eat over half your protein in one sitting.  Even when I'm working out, I only use half a scoop of the 25 g scoop after a workout.  (No, you don't need to use the whole scoop no matter what the cute guy at the counter said.)  Guys, you need the whole scoop after a workout.  Don't ask me why it works better for men than women.  Annoying I know.  But they can also just cut out soda from their nutritional plans and drop 20 pounds in a couple months.    Muscle burns fat, so working out is the only true way to get healthy.  I'm going to reiterate what I just stated twice.  Not for your breakfast, not for your lunch, not for your dinner.  FOR YOUR AFTER WORKOUT SNACK.  Don't care if you want a protein bar or a protein shake.  Who cares?  Ladies, try to stick with 12-ish grams of protein.  Guys, you can go up to 30 grams if you so desire. 

Working out also means finding what works for you.  If the only thing that works for you is walking, then so be it.  You just have to find a routine that entertains you enough you stick to it.  Now, I'm going to listen to a bunch of people yell, I'm sure, about muscle confusion.  This crap they sell right now is based on a "fact" that you plateau and that muscle confusion helps you burn more fat cells.  Umm...yea, it works, but not because of confusion.  You're working new muscle groups and/or in different motions which causes the muscles to need to work in ways they haven't been or haven't in the past.  It's technically correct calling it muscle confusion, but it's not really making a big difference in the whole fat cell burning process.  It's toning the muscles in a new way, creating new or more definition.  The fat cells are still going to burn the same.  Sorry.  It's all bullshit as far as your fatty tissues are concerned.   Not that it isn't awesome to gain more definition; that's what's getting you to the body you want.  Just don't buy into any hype.  If you only like one routine, you're a creature of habit, you'll still burn fat.  Will it seem slower than your friend that is working out with muscle confusion?  Yes, they are toning different places by modification of their routines.  But, those plateaus are overcome by your body regardless.  I had a friend who did step aerobics.  At 3 months she had lost the weight that she wanted and looked fantastic.  By 6 months she was in even better shape.  It was basically the same routine, 5 days a week, day in, day out, for the whole 6 months.  It was the dedication.  I used to love to run 30 minutes and then do nautilus for half an hour--again 5 to 6 days a week.  The routine changed very little and I still continued to lose weight and size even after a year.  Of course, I stopped so I pudged out again.  It is the stopping, not the plateau, that "stops" your losing weight.  Again, if you are accustomed to working out 5 days a week, you will not continue to lose size at 3 days a week.  You will just be maintaining.  And remember, male or female, to really maintain your current position once your metabolism starts thumbing its nose at you (if it hasn't all your life), you need to be working out at least 3 times a week for 20-30 minutes.  At 5 days a week will you eventually plateau?  Yes, when you're body is as small as it's going to get.  Walking an hour a day though will take a hell of a lot longer to get to your goal, no matter what the goal, than an aerobics routine.  Common sense. 

Well, ok, you're thinking, what workouts should I try?  That depends upon you.  I recommend Hip Hop Abs if you need someone talking to you, cheering you on, so to speak.  Shaun T will make you laugh and makes it fun.  Tracy's Metamorphosis routines are awesome, but you have to give her over an hour a day and the routines are very mundane.  Often you'll feel like your doing each part of her routines forever.  The big plus with her workouts is that the inner thighs will reduce and every woman knows the inner thighs are like never ending fat zone even for the most skinny women on the planet.  Yoga is great, especially if you don't want to build muscle (by build I mean bulk up and turn into a body builder looking thing).  But for most to lose any weight at a noticable rate, you'll need to commit to 6 days a week.  It will seem slower.  Also, yoga is difficult for people in good shape.  You might want to start with walking or tai chi first.  Ditto that on pilates.  I have a friend that's a pilates instructor, and when I was working out religiously 5 days a week, I thought she was killing me the first time I tried it.  Don't assume pilates and yoga are easy because they look like it.  Work up to those--they are harder than any other workouts.  The biggest plus with yoga and pilates is that it helps you build balance.  Yoga and Tai Chi are very relaxing.  Tai Chi is highly recommended for elderly.  Balance, muscle tone, and centering the body without the twisting of the yoga.  Ladies, avoid routines designed for men.  Why?  They don't have our shape, our metabolism or muscle structure.  In contrast, gentlemen, use our routines all you want.  Sorry girls. 

Foods are a biggie.  OK, I'm a firm believer in eat when your hungry and eat what you are hungry for.  Your body knows what it needs.  However, do NOT eat when you are bored but not hungry.  If you are one of those people that is eating over portions, I have good news for you.  I have a really good friend who measured her portions, and over the course of three years, lowered her portions to the recommended caloric intake for her meals.  She did nothing else.  No working out and went from a 12 to an 8.  If you are overeating, you're not going to help yourself in any way shape or form.  Which brings me to my recommendation on what to use to track your calories if you need to. Which you might--eating too few calories is just as bad as eating too many. I recommend MyFitnessPal, which is an app for smart phones and is accessible from your computer. It's about the same as the Weight Watchers app, but it's FREE!!! The major downside is that it's a little difficult to record workout calories burned. It will recommend your daily intake automatically. You still probably want to follow up with your doctor on your actual recommended daily intake, but this is awesome to ensure you're eating enough without eating too much. If you're hungry, your body is telling you something. If you're hungry and you've eaten your daily caloric intake, you're missing nutrients--figure out what's missing. A mullti-vitimin will help. Your body will generally pee out extra vitimins so don't worry about finding a multi-vitimin that goes with your nutritional plan. If you have special dietary needs, make sure to consult with a doctor about calories, multi-vitimins, et cetera. The average person can generally take advice from laymen, articles, blogs and amateurs.

Next, I've been told by some nutritionalists that these recommendations are crap and others that they buy into it.  But a lot of research lately has been about certain foods nutritional value and glycemic indexs.  Some foods burn faster, more efficiently.  It just makes sense.  Some of us are round, some are pear shaped, some are whatever.  Some foods have more sugar, less, protein, no protein.  Anyway, glycemic index identifies which foods increase your blood sugar levels the fastest.  The glycemic index is what Nutrasystem is based on.  A friend tried it and said the food tasted like crap.  So, I'm not recommending it--it's expensive and tastes like crap (her words).  Basically some foods are better with your body's desire to control sugar levels.  The glycemic index number tells you if it will maintain sugar levels over a longer period of time--slower release over time or a quick fix.  Lower number--longer release, less spike in the blood sugar level.  Higher number--higher spike, quicker drop back to your body needing sugar.  This is the simplest way to explain the glycemic index.  Some nutritionalists are still not on board that this helps with weight.  There are several websites that have glycemic index lists, for example:  http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Glycemic_index_and_glycemic_load_for_100_foods.htm
Do I buy it?  Yes and no.  It's good to maintain your sugar levels steady even if you're not a diabetic.  It probably can help control your appetite by maintaining the your blood sugar levels. 

OK, my biggest pet peeve.  DO NOT CUT SUGAR FROM YOUR NUTRITIONAL PLAN.  Your body must have sugar.  The brain functions require it.  Most nutritionalists right now say no corn based sugars (sodas, candies, ice creams, etc.) and no granulated sugar, processed, etc.  They push fruits mainly and carbohydrates.  Yet, they'll also tell you to limit pastas and some other carbs.  Ignore, ignore, ignore.  If you're craving a chocolate bar, eat a damn chocolate bar.  Don't eat two.  You should not need two.  But when your body is craving something like sugar, it's telling you something!!!  I will agree with the processed sugar in truth.  Only because I don't think you should ever eat processed anything if possible.  I recommend Sugar in the Raw.  First, it's sweeter and therefore you need less and get the same sweetness with less.  Second, it's not processed.  I know nutritionalists who will argue with me.  Newsflash though--they've been wrong in the past and there are those that disagree even now.  Dark chocolate is much better for you--full of antioxidants--still remember too much of anything is a bad thing.  You can't live off chocolate alone and you'll hit your average caloric intake too fast.  Four candy bars is the average, non-working out, man's daily intake.  Three for the ladies.  So do not over indulge.  And contrary to popular belief, adding 15 minutes to your workout routine on the days you do over indulge is crap.  Stick with your normal workout and learn to enjoy in moderation!

Final word on the foods.  DO NOT BUY FAT FREE, REDUCED FAT or any of that crap.  They use chemicals to flavor "fat free" and "reduced fat" products which doesn't take a rocket scientist to know chemicals are NOT good for you!!!  Enough said....well, no.  Most of the time if you compare labels of the fat free/fat reduced labels to the natural stuff, you'll see the caloric intake is basically the same and in many cases MORE!!! 

Finally, don't make any of this work.  Routine is good.  Work is bad.  If you dread it, change and try something new.  Routine will still lose weight once you get into it and stick to it.  Dreading it will make excuses faster than you can roll out of bed.  Don't get caught up in all kinds of new age, new concepts, what seems to work better for someone else, blah, blah, blah.  Workout, eat healthy most of the time, get enough protein, sugar (carbs) and water--hydrate, hydrate, hydrate (about 2 liters a day).  Add a multi-vitimin, and a calcium chew with vitimin D added if you're female over 35, if you aren't confident you're getting what you need after tracking your plan with MyFitnessPal for a couple of weeks.    And keep in mind this is just a conglomeration of my experiences and others' experiences.  Your results depend on you and you being realistic.  If you're big boned, you may never get smaller than a size 10 and that's fine!!  Accept your body for who you are.  You're beautiful just the way you are.  You just want to be healthier and exercise and eating right will help you be healthier!!  Good luck!!!