"Call me Caitlyn," the former Olympic gold medalist, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, told Vanity Fair. Honestly, I know it brought up a lot of discussion, but it really is his generation, the Baby Boomers, and a tad of my own, GenX, that has even given a rat's buttocks. The thing that amazes me is how much we allow our older generations dictate behavior today. I know there's a lot of fear in the African American community about "bad" cops. Based on a lot of things that have occurred over the years, even the last 10-20 years, I understand my generation's angst. I already wrote about that study that I found a bit sad. Most Caucasian Americans, aka, "white", don't have a whole lot of anything other than other "whites" as friends. Of course, I have a lot of middle class friends that are all different backgrounds who are all the same, and by same I mean pay their bills, pay their taxes, gripe about their taxes, not having enough money, work, have hopes for their kids, have plans for their retirements, and just struggling to live the American Dream. Doesn't seem to matter what skin color, what education level, how much money they are making, they are all looking at the world and wondering who could restore and preserve the American Dream for the next generations. Yet, Caitlyn Jenner got a lot of our attentions. The mob mentality that took over Ferguson mesmerized us. Why? Because the Baby Boomers and GenX are still trying to answer questions that we technically already answered by instilling new attitudes into our children.
First, to be clear, the Baby Boomers changed the world more than any of us since. More than any before them. One generation a century probably makes such drastic changes to the world. The Baby Boomers were it in the 20th century. Race and sex determined a lot before them. What job we could have, what education we could receive, what neighborhood we could live in, what kind of money we could make, who our friends could be according to society, and even what bathroom we could use. Some in the Silent Generation had those dreams and quietly laid the ground work for the opportunity for it to happen. But the Silent Generation was busy surviving, saving freedom around the world from World War I through the Cold War, and to be blunt, they were not ready for the changes that they were quietly, albeit to some degree unknowingly, instilling into their children. Freedom for all, freedom from oppression, equal rights, the end of Fascism, the end of Communism, and perpetuating the coveted American Dream. What did their children do with what they observed growing up? The Sexual Revolution, the ultimate Civil Rights movement, acceptance for Sexual Orientation, the ultimate Freedom to be true to ourselves.
But with old age and wisdom doesn't always come a view of the world as it has changed. Not at all. My Daddy had no concept of how the world had changed between 1973 and 2003 when he asked me to talk to my brother about what it was like to be half Asian as a kid, what it was like for my father and mother, so that my brother would understand what he might be getting himself, his girlfriend, and his possible future children in. I thank God that I was old enough, or wise enough, to not argue this moot point with Daddy. I just told him that I would speak to my brother. What I told my brother was the exact opposite of what Daddy thought I would. Life has changed in 30 years and Daddy's experience 30 years ago was totally different that what my brother's would be. Someone had to fall in love and risk everything eventually. Daddy had to be one of them. Not everyone is the Baby Boomer generation was willing to risk it all. In 2003, no one needed to break that ground. GenX had already started putting mixed racial relationships into full acceptance in the 1990s. That clock wasn't turning back. Daddy's experience would not be anything like my brother's. Not even close. I did remember my mother telling my Grams about Daddy having to defend himself and my mother once. The couple of guys were no match for him. Daddy hadn't had a scratch on him. My mother's brother had been super impressed. I didn't tell my brother that. The worst thing he would have to deal with was maybe taunts, if even that. I just told him the world had changed and Daddy was still living the in the fears of a generation gone by. His fears were unwarranted, and even if they were, well, love is about our hearts not societal demands.
GenX and GenY have just moved us further and further from what the world was like prior to the 1960s. Each decade we have seen movement. I cannot even compare the 1980s to the 20-teens. Gay was unspeakable until the 1980s, and as it became a "speakable" term, bigots, ignorant bigots, continued to perpetuate all kinds of horrible stereotypes. Gay isn't something that most people wanted to believe was natural. Yet, it was around all along. One of the most famous heartthrobs of the Silent generation, Rock Hudson, was gay. He pretended to be something he was not so well that he was considered one of the sexiest, OK back then--handsomest, men in the world. Women swooned over him, even my Grams and my aunts just thought he was meow, meow, meow mix. Yet the man lived in a closet with only his closest and most endeared friends knowing. George Takei, Sulu from the original Star Trek, is gay. In the 1960s, he tells people everyone knew, but that William Shatner simply ignored it like he didn't have an understanding. Perhaps Bill didn't. It just wasn't acceptable and if anyone insisted on acting like it was the responses were from pretending it wasn't there to brutal retaliation to imagined rules of society. GenX scoffed at the "big" news of Rock Hudson. We didn't care. Really. Most of us just didn't find being gay newsworthy, because well, some of our favorite music was coming from gay men. Boy George and Culture Club were one of the signs of the 80s and our generation was just not going to care as much as generations before us.
So, Bruce, I mean, Caitlyn Jenner is 65 years old and finally comes out of the closet. I can't imagine. Over the years, being a girl brought up near obsessed with football and hockey, cars and motorcycles, let alone turning around and joining the military, has gotten me some accusations of being gay. Ironically, I believe being female and gay has been and still is slightly easier than being a male gay. I'm straight and honestly I get a little upchuck feeling at the idea of being with a woman. Just not my cup of tea. Yet, the stereotypes that people ran around with of what is or isn't acceptable behavior for a man or a woman are rules that I never completely abided by. Why should I? My Granddaddy used to tell me I could do anything a boy could do. Picture having a blonde haired, blue eyed, 6'5" Granddaddy telling you that all the time. My Grams made me dress up in cute clothes and be all girly girl. Between the pair of them, I am what I am. When someone, generally male, has tried to tell me where I belong, it's not Grams' or my mother I hear. I hear Granddaddy saying, "Stand up for yourself. Don't take that." I do. I am equal. I don't care if who is telling me I'm not whether they believe that or not. It's not about them. It's about me. I know I'm not better or worse than anyone else, because it was instilled in me at a very young age. But Bruce Jenner grew up in a different world. It was not acceptable to be who he was. It was important to be who they thought he was--unlike lucky me, who got told to be true to myself. Much like Rock Hudson, Bruce Jenner was extremely good at covering up who he was, and I imagine to some degree eventually trapped in his mind because of how good he had covered himself, who he was, up. I cannot imagine being like that. My Grams' sister Gertrude was put in an asylum for wanting to wear pants, refusing to wear skirts or dresses, after reaching 14 years of age. It was a big societal NO-NO. There was nothing wrong with Gertrude. She was a highly intelligent, thoughtful human being, who by the time society didn't have a problem with her wearing slacks had lived over half her life in an asylum. When released, she couldn't survive in the world and begged to go back. She died in an asylum, by her own choice because society had forsaken her for being different. At 14 she refused to comply with society and was punished. Rock Hudson, Bruce Jenner, probably thousands and thousands of others over the years, if not millions, have chosen to live in a pretend world. Wake up every morning looking at themselves in the mirror and not barely recognize themselves. Is that their fault or society's?
We could easily blame them. But the failure is not theirs. It was not Aunt Gertrude's. It was not Rock Hudson's. It was not Caitlyn Jenner's. It was OUR fault. We as a society and we need to own up to the fact that we did this to other people. We do it to our children--be this or that. It's expected in some way for us to provide that guidance. Yet, it is not our right to tell them after they are adults. We tell ourselves it's weird, but what we should be telling ourselves and others is that being true to yourself, ourselves, is more important than whether you were born a male or female. Motorcycles are a great love to me, and it used to be pretty much an oddity to see women riding. Yet, study after study (like 3 now) show that women that ride express being happier with themselves and their lives, more confident and more importantly express that they enjoy their lives. None of that would ever happen if the world and society doesn't grow and accept us for who we are. I bet my Great Aunt Gertrude would have loved motorcycles if society had let her be her. Since I believe in reincarnation, I hope she's somewhere riding today and living the life that God meant for her to live rather than one that a less progressive society put her away in a box because she wouldn't put herself there.
Decide to support Caitlyn Jenner, not because you understand it or you would do it, but because you wouldn't want to live in that box.
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