Sunday, February 7, 2016

And you thought you were having a bad night...

Ok, so I've gotten completely bored with politics, but I promised a funny blog.  So here goes.

So there have been times in my life that I just can't help to point out the very, very obvious.  Some people are dense, and by dense I mean, well, let me explain.  So in spite of swearing off internet dating ever, and I mean ever, again.  It does make for interesting reading.  This time though I refused to put pictures up.  No reason to put up any pictures.  If I want to get hit on because of the way I look, I can go to a bar.  So, amazingly, without pictures, this has yielded very little interest.  However, I'm not getting the stupid emails like "hey baby, you're hot" or "you remind me of my refrigerator because you've been running through my mind all night"....Gasp....

No, but I did manage to meet one guy.  Seemed nice enough online.  Nice looking guy online.  Now, let's clarify for everyone, because I've been picking up new readers.  I'm an uber goober geek, who happened to be raised like a fashionista.  So the uber goober geek is a bit of a nervous nelly when meeting people.  Not that I can't talk with just about anyone, but dating is kind of a pain in the *ss.  I'm fine in my comfort zones, much like anyone else, but meeting someone new for a drink or two is a bit nerve racking.  So I get there on time, and he gets there a bit after.  He's actually better looking in person than in his pics.  Sits down next to me and we order a couple of beers.  We start talking and it's a little cold in the bar.  My arms are crossed but my legs were crossed towards him and he commented on how tense I seemed because I had my arms crossed.  I explained that I was cold and that the arms crossed didn't actually have anything to do with my nerves.  As I start to relax, I'm talking and I'm pretty high energy.  He starts telling me over and over and over and over and over and over....and over and over to calm down.  I'm not really not uncalm.  I'm a little uncomfortable, but now, well, I'm becoming more uncomfortable.  I tend to babble when I'm uncomfortable and he's still telling me to calm down.  But now it's on the borderline of condescending.  Trying to make conversation, we talk about family and I tell him that people call my brother in law "asshole"--that it's his nickname.  He explains that he doesn't call anyone something like that until he knows them.  Ok, I guess he missed the nickname part, but that seems pretty nice, right?

Ok, so far, not so funny.  Then a really good friend of mine calls and then texts.  I sent her a text back that I would call her back in a bit and she responded with "OK".  Out of this guy's mouth, and I joke not, "Tell that bitch to quit texting and calling.  Call her back if you have to and tell her you're busy."  WOW.  Just wow.  So that not calling people names until he knows them only must apply to men?  I didn't ask.  The hell you say!?!?  No, really, I didn't waste my breath.  Of course, those of you that know me, once I get a bit pissed, I'm done talking.  I didn't bother with a second beer, and thank God my friend Angela tried to call as it gave me a way out of having dinner with him.

I know I never lie, and I technically didn't lie to the guy.  I did have 3 friends having birthday parties last night and I was genuinely planning on hitting at least of two of them.  So I explained that I didn't plan on dinner because of those birthday parties and I bailed faster than the Road Runner saying "meep, meep".  Of course, by the time I got home, I didn't feel like going anywhere.  It kind of made me not want to be around anyone.  Now, I'm backlogged on birthday drinks to at least one of my friends.  Ok, so it wasn't that funny of a blog.  Ah, well, better luck next time.

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