Thank you Trainwreck.

What do you call someone who lies constantly?  I mean age?  Okay.  My Grams lied about her age.  So what?  I don't, but I don't find any reason to hold that lie against someone.  But how much lying is "too much"?  Think about it.  There's a level that each of us is willing to tolerate from others.  From our friends, even this varies.  If I don't like you, pretty good odds I've caught you in more lies than just your age.  The other thing I don't have a stomach for is someone who consistently uses others.  It's just not something I've got any patience for.  Now, if one of my friends is okay with it, well, I'll overlook it in one of their friends.  They're not using me, and I figure my friends are adults.  Another one of those each of us has different limits.  Now, the other thing that none of my friends have because I have zero tolerance for it:  Phony, hoity toity crap.  I grew up with plenty of phony boloney types.  I found them exhausting and irritating.  Every one of us knows someone that is like this to some level.  Usually we know more than one, but we all know at least one that is actually so phony that being around them is like nails on a chalkboard.  Again, most of these people don't have many friends, but it's all about how much phony each of us can tolerate.  I have some acquaintances that I would call phony to some level, but I actually am very proud to say that I really have no phony friends--let alone those phony, hoity toity types.  I take these three things as deal breakers as far as friendship.  

Now, what probably makes me unique is that I really don't care if my friends have friends that I wouldn't be friends with.  No one likes everyone.  I'm honest, and I'll admit sometimes to a fault.  Yet, anyone asking has been warned that they aren't going to like what my opinion is before I will spew out more truth than they can handle.  I do know how to keep my opinion to myself, but if someone doesn't know when to leave well enough alone--you know that moment where I'm telling them to leave it alone, mind their own business, shut up, don't ask.  I know for a fact a couple of my friends are laughing right now, because I have told even my friends they don't want my opinion.  It's been that way most of my life.  Most people don't always want your opinion--a lot of people just want you to agree.  I'm not the one.  I don't agree just to agree.  I also have very little tolerance for BS.  It's not my thing either.  I'll usually avoid it like the plague.  Probably why I'm not much for liars.  People who lie and lie and lie, well, they always seem to think they are flying under the radar.  As the old adage goes, it's work to keep up with lies.  Someone, and I'm one of those someones, always remembers what you said when you said it.  Some things people say have no value add, but it is what it is.  I remember so much crap at the drop of the hat, sometimes I amaze myself.  Let me actually be trying to remember, well, that's another story.  Just listening semi-passively?  Oh no, I'm going to remember.  Regardless, of these two faults, I have my friends' backs and they know it.  It is exactly who I am.  Loyal, honest and straight shooter.  

So admittedly, I'm not super fond, never have been of a friend of a friend who is hoity toity who I've caught in more lies than anyone I've met in decades, and that I have myself observed using other people because they are so self absorbed that their "friends" are only a convenience.  Now, all that aside, yes really, I ignored it.  Lying about age, job experience, degree....acting like everyone else is beneath them...literally using people to help pay, yes pay not pave, the way.  These are things I do not tolerate in my friends, but not my friend.  However, once yelling at a friend of mine--whether mutual or not--when all the friend was trying to do was help.  No.  I have no tolerance.  I made it very clear that I had no tolerance for that behavior after it kept going and going with me sitting smack dab in the middle of it.  This wonderful person then started yelling at me.  Oh no, I'm not the one.  I made it clear that they might think it was okay to yell at the mutual friend, but I wasn't tolerating it.  I can only tolerate so much.  Everyone has limits, and considering I listened to the yelling for probably close to 10 minutes before saying anything, I'm thinking I did pretty good.  

Of course, this person also will tell the mutual friend that they are going to do this or that and don't follow through--and no courtesy call or text to say "hey not going to make it".  This person also has been stalking--okay, by stalking I mean going to the location someone they messed around with by hunting them and getting people to report where the person is so they can come where the ex is trying to avoid them.  Screaming at the person when they walk into a place because they are with someone else?  Oh yes...and this is just the tip of that nasty iceberg.  The last thing this person does that totally gets on my last nerve?  Victim.  Always the victim.  It's my fault that I don't like them.  No.  It's life.  Not everyone is going to like you.  It's not their fault they got used or that they are stalking this other person.  It's the stalkee's fault for this reason or that reason.  I'm flabbergasted at the ridiculous justifications.  This person doesn't use people either--the people that they take advantage of do so because this person doesn't try to get them to.  Uh, this isn't even debatable to the witnesses.  The consensus is the person does it on purpose and with purpose.  

The funny thing is when reading the above paragraph our response changes if it's a man or a woman for many of us.  I don't have any different opinion whether the person is male or female.  I don't like liars, users, or phonies.  A single package that then stalks someone that doesn't want to be around them, is so self absorbed they can't show common courtesy to a friend and let them know what's going on, and always playing the victim?  No, I don't care if this person is male or female.  Basically, no matter how we look at it--the person is a shitty person.  The person is a trainwreck and if they are into their 30s or plus, forget it.  That's who they are and will always be.  

For all my faults, I'm proud to say I'm not a liar.  I've never used anyone.  I'm too honest to be phony.  I am what I am.  The best, in fact the only good thing about the person or anyone like them, is that they remind me how horrible people like them are and how lucky I am not to be like that.   Even more wonderful is that they also remind me how lucky I am to have some wonderful, real friends.  Real friendship is something people like this person just never experience, because they truly don't even know how to be a friend.  All I can say:  Thanks Trainwreck.  You reminded me how much I appreciate real people and real friends.