This time of year I try to do a couple different "staple" blogs--one is related to the "holiday' season and the other is a New Year's goals. For the holiday blog, I wait for some inspiration and it's usually directly related to the holidays. This year my inspiration started with a rainy morning and ended with a friend talking about her son. What did the two have in common? Two young men--one trying to better himself by walking to work in the rain to pay for school and another who's mother wants him to go to a tech school or college. But that's not what both of them had in common. Similar stories, but the punchline to both were the same. Others are telling them that they can't, shouldn't, that school isn't important, and the worst of the worst, the one's father is telling him that his life is good enough for the son. I mean really, "the good enough for me, good enough for you"? So this blog isn't for all you idiots that tell other people to fail, because you yourself are incapable or are just too lazy to become what you were meant to be. This blog is for those two young men and everyone that is in a similar situation, whether male or female. For all of you that dream of going to school to be a police officer or a doctor or a dental hygienist or whatever requires you to put a little or even a lot into yourself, into your education and takes more effort than working an hourly job and struggling to pay your bills for the majority of your life.
First and foremost, if you dream it, you can achieve it. Sure, there's only one President of the United States and plenty of kids think they might want to be President and never do become President, even if they go to an Ivy League school. But no one that has an Ivy League education is starving to death unless they choose to. I won't lie to you. With education, all dreams aren't achievable, but without one, no dreams are achievable. We're not talking about social dreams. Perhaps, you dream of getting married and having children. This portion of the dreams in your life are available no matter what your professional dreams are. But what is it you want to achieve for yourself? No one should tell you what you want to achieve in life. There's only one person that will have to live with your decisions--good or bad, and that's you. Your dreams can either be inspiration or just wishful thinking that you eventually look back on with regret and have to reconcile with. You make decisions that can help you achieve your dreams or you can give up. There's nothing wrong with your dream being to work hourly on a plant floor for the rest of your life. I have plenty of friends that this has been more than enough for them and they have been content. But if you are someone who dreams of something different, you will never be happy making decisions that keep you from trying. You will eventually resent the people who held you back, but in a weird twist, you will actually resent the people who have achieved in some cases.
Why would you resent those that did what you wanted to do? It's human nature. Deep down you give up a piece of who you are when you don't try to achieve your dreams. I had a good friend who married right out of high school. She was going to go to college. She was going to go to Paris, NYC, and she wanted to design clothes for the runways of major fashion shows. Okay, yes, sure that all sounds a bit unrealistic in real life. She might have ended up being an art teacher, or while in college she might have been inspired to go into architecture since she was actually fascinated by art--all art including drawings, paintings, architecture. She might have started college and in some wonderful strange twist became an art restorer. Yes, it's a real job that major museums and even the Vatican have. A whole job just centered around restoring and preserving some of the most beautiful creations of some of the most talented people in history. How do I know about this particular job? Well, someone she met, not even sure how she knew the lady, was one of these and she hated her. In my friend's mind, this woman had somehow taken her dreams. Of course, that was idiotic, but the resentment was real.
So she got married, got pregnant shortly after which ended her plans of college, and eventually had a couple of kids and the fairy tale that started with a beautiful wedding...ended with a divorce and her struggling to find a job just to help her make ends meet. But what made very little sense to me at the time was how angry she was at her ex because she hadn't gone to college. This had been her decision afterall, right? But it hadn't. Perhaps if her fairy tale had the ending we grow up thinking of, she wouldn't have cared right? But it's a 50/50 shot that a marriage will work, and right out of high school it actually has less than a 2% chance of making it. If you get married right out of high school (or before), you have a 98% plus chance of divorce. The odds are not in your favor. So in her case, they were in that 98%; it didn't work. What I eventually realized is that it really wasn't her decision to give up her dreams. She had thought she had to give them up, and in her mind, it was all his fault. Was it really his fault? No. She had made a series of decisions that landed her where she was at. Now, perhaps many of those decisions were pushed by others, even her ex, in a direction different than what she really wanted. But ultimately, the decision was hers. And no matter what, these decisions that others might be pushing you into are yours. You won't have anyone to blame but yourself. Giving up your dreams because mom or dad or whoever is telling you to, no. They might have bullied you, but in the long run, it was always your decision.
Of course, how would I know? I lived most of my life by the time I was 16 being told what I was going to do and having little impact on changing any of it. I was regularly told what I was capable of and even having a fairly regular input belittling me compared to another family member. I understand being told what you are capable of and what you should be doing from both the positive and negative aspects. In truth, there's not a single one of us that aren't told by someone growing up what we can or cannot achieve. Some parents actually push and push to the point one might want to walk away and go their own direction. Others might constantly be told they aren't smart enough. When you look around you, know that everyone has someone telling them what they can or cannot achieve and even what might appear like positive reinforcement might not be. You haven't got the ability to compare your circumstances to theirs. Don't focus on how much "better" or "supportive" another person's circumstances might be. You might be starting behind the proverbial curve ball, or you might be starting well ahead. But when all is said and done, it's still your your energy, your efforts and your decisions that will allow you to achieve and make your dreams into your reality.
Perhaps you know exactly what you think you want to be. Perhaps you only have an idea of what. But if either of those suggest you need a college education, then no matter what they say, you need to think about you. It's okay to not "know", and it's perfectly okay to figure it out first. Not everyone can afford to go to college for a couple of years just to "figure it out", and that's okay too. Maybe you need to save some money first, because you are starting behind that "curve ball" due to financial limitations. Again, don't let someone tell you that money or you not being exactly sure keep your dreams at bay. Another thing some people will tell you is they don't use any of their high school education or classes and they do just fine. So one thing you need to keep in mind is that the degree is the background knowledge needed to do your dream job. You've heard someone say, "Another day of not using algebra". Well, if you go grocery shopping, live on a budget and have to decide how much you can spend on what, well, here's a just a fact. They all are using algebra every single day. The fact they don't recognize it as algebra, because what little they absorbed of what they learned is how successful they are at balancing their budget. They need it and they don't even know they are using it.
Let's say you can't decide two or four years. If you decide to go to a two year school and get an associate's degree, you'll have less "fluffy" classes. Most of the classwork will be directly related to what you want to do. We as a society need machinists, robotics technicians, dental hygenists, bookkeepers, etc. But you'll still have "fluffy" classes. The extra English is so that you will sound more polished when dealing with people that have higher educations. The extra math coursework will almost always be applicable to coursework associated with your chosen discipline. The truly "fluffy" classes like art history electives you'll manage to completely avoid. Of course, let's say you want a bachelor's. Those extra extra "fluffy" classes are to make you even more well rounded. Give you more of the world, a bigger picture, so that you can go beyond just fixing problems but see beyond to critical thinking and how to come up with solutions to problems. No degree above associate's actually is all of what the job is. It's going to be the building blocks to go into a career. At the bachelor's level and higher, you will get what you effort you put in. I know some people with bachelor's degrees that may as well have nothing but a high school diploma. I had a boss once with a bachelor's in marketing and an MBA. You would think she wouldn't understand when I explained engineering projects to her. She understood the basics enough to understand project goals. I understood finances enough to add the things that she was actually concerned about. On the other hand, I had another boss with an engineering degree who couldn't engineer his way out of a paper bag with a pair of scissors. She had walked away with a better education from the same university as him. How? Effort in equals the knowledge you get out of it, regardless of which degree or major you choose.
Most importantly, remember all these people usually telling you don't "need" this or "need" that really have no idea what you will need or what you won't need. I cannot even tell you what you will or won't need. I was great at statistics. I'm an engineer. These seem completely unrelated. Unless you end up as a root cause analysis engineer or quality engineer. Then statistics will be a way of life regularly if not daily. Sometimes it's just a quick calculation in my head, but sometimes it's a long drawn out DOE (design of experiment) that is very detailed and requires a lot of knowledge and applying that knowledge. I didn't know I would "need" it eventually. I thought it was just a required "fluffy" class. Turns out I was wrong. I didn't even know what I was going to need, so you might not know what you will "need" yet. Therefore, be realistic when people tell you that you don't "need" something. You can't know for sure, so they definitely don't know.
Don't be afraid to be you, follow your dreams, turn your dreams into reality by setting goals, going to school and achieving those goals. This is how your dreams will become your reality. No one should try to take those away from you. But dreams aren't tangible until you've done all the work to bring them to fruition, right? The person standing in your way telling you to accept failure before you even get started is definitely tangible. But no matter how tangible they are, they aren't going to be paying your bills are they? They aren't going to be living your life. You will be. You should live your life; achieve the dreams you want to. Are you going to use all the tools, everything you ever learned in high school, in a two year college or four year university? No. You aren't, but you won't know what you're going to use until you get into a career. Most people with a high school education have a job. They work hourly. They do the same thing over and over. Most people with a two year degree are very skilled and have skills that others do not have. Their jobs can be very challenging and rewarding, not just financially but in the sense of accomplishment. The four year degrees open up more challenges, more rewards, and yes generally more financially. Like everything, you will get what you put in. Don't not put in effort because someone else tells you no. Put in the effort as you choose and you can achieve those things that you dream of. This Christmas, or whatever holiday you might celebrate, remember you can achieve. Shoot for the stars and you will be thrilled even if you only hit the moon.
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