Friday, May 18, 2012

I've failed over and over, and that is why I succeed.

Who makes a champion?  Does the champion make themselves?  Give a second thought for a moment.  Serious thought.  Champions exceed expectations.  Generally they exceed their own expectations.  But who or what is a "champion"?  The first definition that most of us like to think of is someone who has defeated all opponents.  But is that truly a champion?  The original definition of a champion is not the perceived victor, but anyone, win or lose, who defends a cause, an idea, any warrior or fighter is in that sense a champion.  The champion was not always the winner.  As my Grams used to say, "Sometimes the sign of a true winner is not the person that looks like they've won, but the person who stood by their principles."  So many of us no longer stand for any principle, let alone multiple principles.  A person who stands by their principles.  Perhaps it is also the person who succeeds in spite of being knocked down.  But then, what is success?  Who defines success?  The champion or someone else? 

I saw an interview recently with Michael Phelps.  Yes, the Michael Phelps who dominated in the last Olympics.  The same Michael Phelps who caused a stir because he was caught by a camera doing drugs.    The tabloids dragged him down for this--he's not a champion.  Is it their call?  A tabloid writer--seriously--trying to define a champion?  Someone who makes their living trying to drag other people down?  I would argue that a bottom feeder like that most certainly would have no idea what makes a true "champion".  I find it a bit audacious for someone with a lack of enough respect and ethics to even try to define whether Michael Phelps, or anyone for that matter, is a champion.  Michael readily admitted his error.  As my grandfather used to say, "it takes a big man to admit his mistakes."  It doesn't take a very strong person to pretend like they've done nothing wrong.  No, it takes strength of character and mind to admit mistakes.  Pretending to be all innocent and not knowing what he was being asked about, or pretending that it was all a big mistake, is not owning up to a mistake and lacks resolve and commitment--let alone the contentious fact that it lacks moral character.  So kudos to Michael for standing up with character and resolve--with the fortitude that a champion would stand up with. 

More interestingly, guess where this Olympic champion keeps his medals.  Guess, seriously, think about it for a second before continuing.  Where would you keep a dozen Olympic gold?  Above your mantel?  Displayed over your bar?  Maybe constantly dangling around your neck to ensure that everyone that met you recognized you?....Thought about it enough yet?...  Michael Phelps keeps them in a sock, stashed away.  Not really all that important.  Interesting?  I think so.  Why?  Even more interesting.  He didn't really know, other than they were just there.  You want to know what I think?  I think he doesn't choose to rest on his laurels because it's not about winning.  It's not about being "better" than or the "best" compared to anyone else.  It's not so shallow for a true champion.  It's about the challenge--one's own challange--exceeding expectations.  Working hard and seeing something great come to fruition is a rare beauty indeed.  Only a champion could appreciate that the work itself and a dream realized as a greater reward than the tangible rewards that others can only envy. 

And envy, well, envy is a nasty word.  Envy, by current definition, is discontent with regards to what others have, whether real or imagined by the envious person.  Discontent.  With someone else's achievements, abilities, belongings, looks, et cetera.  Seriously.  Who goes down this path?  We all know, at least mature, mentally healthy, stable individuals know that we can control nothing and no one in this world other than ourselves.  Discontent with what someone else is or has is simply idiotic at least.  At most, it shows a lack of moral fiber, fortitude, self-recognition and most certainly, self acceptance.  But this was only part of the word "envy" years and years ago.  Envy is not just the discontent.  It was, and really when you think of the envious people that you know, is "ill will".  I've never met an envious person that will not work hard, bend over backwards, morally corrupt themselves, literally stoop to no level--no level is low enough for an envious person, to attempt to degrade someone that they envy.  Envy is such a debase form of ill will...yes, it is a redundancy upon a redundancy...that many that suffer envy truly believe if they can tear down the champion, whether with fact or fiction, that they will be absolved of their envy.  They will not.  We can only control ourselves, and someone of that champion disposition will simply rethink their opinions, their approach, their goals will adjust as needed.  What would be a devastation for the envious will simply be a bump in the road for the champion. 

Michael Phelps will be at the London Olympics.  Yes, in full force, ready to try to exceed his own abilities.  That is the sign of a champion.  I understand this.  When I dropped out of college, I didn't know what I wanted, where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be.  But I always knew I would have to finish my degree.  It was a goal.  The naysayers, and there were plenty at times, would tell me a woman couldn't, a single mother couldn't,with 3 young boys I couldn't, that was what a man did, I needed to find a man, who did I think I was, I was a failure, I would fail, there was no chance in hell I would succeed.  But the difference from the envious to me, I only needed to be the champion for me and for my children, so nothing they said ever mattered. 

Truth is:  No champion has never failed.  As Michael Jordon once said, "I've failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed."  Failure is an obstacle to someone who challenges themselves.  Failure is a lesson.  Failure is a motivation.  But for champions, success does not come without a price, but champions don't succeed because they've stepped on others, but because they have not.  The envious know not how it feels to succeed, no matter what laurels they can hang over their mantels, because someone else always has more.  They will always have less, be less, and need more, and in the words of a regarded friend, "the fall for those that stepped on people on the way up is a very, very long drop."  (That' called karma for those of you that need it pointed out.)  The envious can't see themselves as champions and therefore neither will anyone else.  They hear the words, but don't really understand the infamous song by Queen...

"I've paid my dues, time after time.  I've done my sentence but committed no crime.  And bad mistakes--well, I've made a few.  I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through.  We are the Champions, my friend.  And we will fight on, til the end." 

To the envious it is a thumbing of the nose to the world, a cry of anger.  Yet, that wasn't the meaning of the words when Queen wrote them.  It is a belief in oneself in spite of the sand kicked, in spite of the failures, in spite of anything that would make goad us into giving up our belief in ourselves.  A champion succeeds even when they fail, because they believe in themselves. 

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