There's little to say about the shootings in the last week or so, and yet, everyone seems to have something to say. The anti-2nd amendment types immediately start a barrage of placing blame squarely on guns. This seems idiotic to me for the simple reason that a weapon, any weapon, is only as dangerous as the person wielding it. There are always the types that mourn and cry the loudest--the tele-evangelist types that wish to capitalize on the notoriety. Then there are stark discussions wondering about the motives of the individuals and what "caused" them to do such a horrific thing. It's inevitable that we will see pictures and video snapshots of the police at their homes, conversations with people that they worked with or someone that was purposedly "friends" with the murderer, and finally, some picture that the police released or that some family member wanting them to be remembered as they were in their eyes (or for some cash from some media outfit) will be plastered for days on the cover page of Yahoo, the newspapers and their pages, and of course, the barrage of local news stations and the standard national news shows and channels--NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC....The conversation about the 2nd amendment will fade, although it might receive a blip in everyone's memory like Bob Costas' little agenda serving commentary in the middle of halftime of a football game. We all remember the rant--how many of us remember which game (and it was only a couple of weeks ago)? The tele-evangelists have themselves become like blips to most of us--less entertaining than the tabloids since Jim and Tammy Faye have faded from the spotlight. But what happens to these morons that do this?
Well, first, let's consider those conversations that are always all over the new stations and Oprah, Dr. Oz, blah, blah, blah. (Can't tell I don't waste my time on that crap, can you?) Well, they're always questioning what and why would this person, or persons, commit such a heinous crime. I remember Colombine quite vividly thanks to the media outlets. The parents of the perpetrators, the parents of the victims, the survivors and their parents, the ghastly sight of the high school kids with fear and terror on their faces. Some people must just relish in this. I mean afterall we, (ok, not me but we in general), spend a fortune in horror movies--the Saw series, Halloween, Freddie, etc. The news media is out to make a buck too afterall, and "this sells papers" as an old movie quote comes to mind of the old newspaper man screaming that he wants everyone to emulate a reporter who managed to scoop the goriest pictures and murder details. It's a fact. We are somehow fascinated by that which disgusts us, or at least should disgust us, most. But how does all this media rampage help us understand what happened?
First of all, they always, always seem hell bent on blaming something. Colombine was blamed on bullies. Remember, these boys were so bullied that their parents were utterly clueless that there was even anything wrong with them. The one mother in an interview at the 10 year anniversary coverage said that she didn't know, she just didn't know. Other parents swear up and down someone should've known. It's a trist that went over and over in that stupid coverage 10 years later. Bullies did this. These boys were victims too. I remember what went through my mind when Colombine happened, and what went through my mind during that 10 years later coverage, and I know what runs through my mind every single time this happens. Bullshit! It wasn't the bullies. The bullies didn't pick up guns and draft a plan and take several loaded weapons and rounds into the school. Those boys did--JUST those boys. Period. We've made a whole anti-bullying rally over the last decade plus against bullies just because of these dumbass (yes, dumbass) boys. Give me a break. I went back to my 20th high school reunion. The kid who was the shyest guy, bullied a little--ok, from his perspective probably a lot, and had been for lack of a better way of putting it, the "runt of the litter", turned out to be the brightest, best looking, most successful of the whole damn class. And anyone over 35 remembers hearing stories growing up from their parents and grandparents about how the most popular guy and gal in high school--typically the bully and the super bitch--turned out to be the least successful of all. Married and pregnant out of high school working some shit jobs just to make ends meet, or drug addicts because they couldn't live up to their own egos, or my personal favorite--working for their parents in the family business and doing little more than being a philanderer with little to no love in their lives and no personal success whatsoever. The bullies and the super bitches dealt with something that we like to refer to as "karma". Now we somehow relish in the idea that the "bullied" are invoking their own sense of justice? All I can say is, WTF?
Still, the more recent shootings are a football player and a couple of individual "nobodys". Not bullies or bullied at all. The football player is probably not the best example, because in reality, this was a domestic dispute that went horribly awry. Domestic disputes almost never get to the national news--unless it's Sean Connery, Russell Crowe, or some low level NFL player. But even a low level NFL player (come on seriously, have you seen the Chiefs record?), a NFL player is still a NFL player. But what about the "nobodys"? Shooting up a mall and shooting up an elementary school. Who to blame? What were their motivations? Why? Why? Why? Again, we seem to be more than willing to click on the link to the story, we are all too willing to watch the news for that day and the next couple to find out why, why, why. As a Beatles song "A Day in the Life" bellows, "a crowd of people stood and stared"....we all stand and stare, mesmerized by the horrific. We have to count the holes, just to know how many holes this person or persons might have had. We want it to be complicated, lots and lots of holes. Misspent childhood, crazy abusive parent, drug induced, terrorist ties, drug ties, a prank phone call from radio DJs....there has to be some unusual, weird, out of the norm explanation that will explain it all. But just like the boys from Colombine--it wasn't some magic imaginary bullet like the bullies. It was them. It wasn't misspent childhoods or parents or drugs or terrorist ties or even a prank phone call. It was just these individuals. The answer is not complicated. We want, we need, we must find, a more complicated answer, because the simple answer is much, much worse.
The simple answer is us. We, with each click, each moment that our attention is capatured, we are the reason that these things are happening. And worse yet, we all already know why. Each of us understands wanting to be remembered. Most of us get that need filled in the simplest (albeit sometimes the most complicated) way. Family and friends. We will be remembered by someone. We will be missed by someone. We won't have the notoriety or the fame, but all of us can understand that need. Everyone of us fantasized as children of being Madonna or Kathrine Hepburn, Keith Richards or Henry Fonda, Ronald Reagan, FDR, Nelson Rockefeller, Mother Theresa or the Dalai Lama, or some other famous, successful person. We've all had that one person--even maybe more than one--that we admire and would like to emulate. But most of us, well, we know that the infamy that those people have comes with a cost and many of us don't want to spend the money. I'll pass on the media chewing up and spitting out my terrible marriage or the fact that I've been single for as long as I have been. Pass on my own personal odd habits being a punchline to a David Letterman joke, or my daughter making herself an odd note in history detracting from my own success, shot at, rumoured to be incapacitated, a mogul who's reputation is made on the backs of the downtrodden or the helper of the downtrodden who lives completely meager. Oh, yes, it might have occurred to me that I wanted to be an actress and singer, a musician, or even a politician. And honestly, I've never considered living as meagerly as the last two, although I do try to emulate their teachings. So yes, we really do all get what the real reason this all happens is. It's that simple. These people want to be famous. They want their 15 minutes in the spotlight, and they want everyone to remember their name. Thanks to the internet, for basically eternity, their names will always come up with a random mall or school shooting. Their faces will be right there for all to see. Their notoriety far greater than yours or mine. My pitiful little blog doesn't even pop if you type my name. A list of search engines designed to find people does. You might get my LinkedIn in the list, along with at least 8 other Facebook pages with my name or similar. That's as infamous as I get. It's as infamous as most of us get .
But these people, they want all of us to remember them. They don't have the talent, the brains or the know-how or just the phyical attributes to become famous, but even a complete dumbass can become notorious. And that is who each and every one of these people are. The theater shooting is the most heinous to date. He wanted to live to relish his notoriety and that POS (piece of sh*t) got exactly what he wanted for a little bit. The real reason most of these people that pull this crap kill themselves is what the theater shooter would probably change now if he could. They kill themselves because they know the notoriety is only a flash in the pan. The flash lasts no longer if you are alive or dead, but the questions go on and on and on--especially at the next shooting. You might have a bigger impact--mislead people into turning you into some kind of sob story martyr for anti-bullying. Don't get me wrong, bullying is wrong, but for the most part, most of the bullied--a large majority--are the most successful people in the world. "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most beautiful of all." These people have only one motivation to be remembered whether for creating the adversity or not, they simply want to be notorious. And, we have been all to happy to oblige.
Next time this happens, and yes, unfortunately there will be a next time, but next time don't click on the Yahoo new links. Don't go watch the feed on your favorite news media outlet while you are sitting eating your lunch at your desk. Don't talk about it. Turn off your television, change channels, and do not buy a newspaper that day or the next--especially if you never buy one anyway!!! The media makes them notorious, we eat it up, the media makes money, and the next shooter is far more shocking than the last. The vicious circle continues. The media and the need to one up the last guy means there will be more grief, more lost lives, just for one individual to gain the notoriety they crave. Don't stop and stare. Don't try to capitalize on your own agenda of gun control or religious recruiting. Just click on the comics. Talk about the upcoming BCS championship, the Sweet Sixteen, whether Tide is better than Era. Make what is going on in your day more important, mourn quietly for those that were devatated. Don't post it all over Facebook how much grief and sympathy you feel for the families. It's touching yes. It's also encouragement to the next asshole, and a guarantee that you will be posting something similar again. Shut up about it. Don't give the media a click count and the dollar signs that accompany it. Or, simply relish in the fact, that you are a contributor to the frenzy that these assholes create and accept some of the responsibility for the deaths of the next grusome scene.
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