Yesterday, I was watching CBS Sunday Morning, and there was an expose on "*ssholes". Yes, seriously. First, technically, you can't actually say "asshole" on television in the United States. It's one of those "4-letter words" that the FCC doesn't allow. But, boy, doesn't it get used a LOT?!?! They showed it on "South Park" and several movies clips. It's the big word nowadays. They went into the fact that we seem to revere some *ssholes now--Donald Trump, Mel Gibson, etc. Lots of celebrities seem to get the "asshole" tag and really almost seem to relish in it. They even talked to college professors, one from the University of California Berkeley, that have written whole books and teach classes on "assholes". Oh, yes, I'm quite serious. They pointed out that it seems like a lot of us, even more than ever, seem to think that being an asshole is perfectly acceptable behavior. And, well, that got me to thinking...
First of all, most of us know, at least by now, the sad story of the KC Chief that shot and killed his girlfriend and then turned around went by the stadium and killed himself. Ok, Bob Costas last night was on the television talking about how guns readily available to this former football star (ok, star for the Chiefs, stay with me here) and others can result in this tragedy. Well, yes, in some fashion, let's admit that if this idiot (yes, idiot--who else goes and shoots someone for going out on the town with her girlfriends because he couldn't because he "had a game"--hasn't got a game now, has he?--right, back on point), let's admit that if this idiot had not had a weapon in his reach, she might still be alive. He most certainly would be. Afterall, he only killed himself because he didn't want to live with the consequences of his own actions. Oooo, yes, I said it, his own actions. He might have been on medications or steroids that could have escalated his behavior, but I suspect weapon or not, he might have killed his girlfriend. If he was upset enough to shoot her, he was definately upset enough to beat the crap out of her where her neck could've been snapped, beat her senseless, or otherwise. We'll never know. What we do know is that he killed her. And, even if we have a gun in reach, normal people don't grab a gun and point it at someone. Severely abused people might. Abusers definately might. But everyday people don't. Think about it. The thoughts might run through your mind, but you don't actually act on it, do you? (Yes, I am one of the train of thought that people kill people, guns are just one of many potential weapons.)
Let's be honest. People, yes even you and I, nowadays seem to be more and more complacent when we hear about death--particularly murder. It's fascinating. One of the most popular televisions shows ever is "The Walking Dead". Seriously, about f'n zombies. How much more predicated is that? Some of us have become so desensitized to reality that we find walking dead people interesting enough to watch it weekly. We've gone from cartoon comic book style horror to sheer delight over the potential reality of a zombie apocalypse. So, an asshole or hundreds or thousands of assholes? Geez, really? Why would we give that a second thought? Especially, when we can blame it on the other person or the weapon we used.
I've recently been reading a lot about people that have suffered immense harm, even death, thanks to some idiots putting eye drops or antifreeze in their drinks or food. One woman's boyfriend poisoned her over several months. He's now in jail, because just by the grace of God, her doctor figured out something was seriously wrong. Thanks to this asshole she now suffers from blackouts and severe headaches. A couple of assholes are doing time because the people they chose to poison had stomach ulcers. Hahaha, right!?!?! One went into a coma and died and the other died on the spot within a couple of hours. Another suffers the headaches and severe damage to their bowel system. All because some assholes thought this was funny. I bet the assholes sitting in jail aren't as amused by their shananagins. Probably wondering what the hell they were thinking. Or in typical asshole fashion, figure that it is still the fault of the person they poisoned that they went to such extremes. How many assholes in this world think that is funny? Someone suffering for months or years because of eye drops or antifreeze? All because, well, they're assholes. But hey, being an asshole is popular right now, right?
There's never been a time better to be an asshole after all. The internet has people in chat rooms and in blogs making accusations. Teenagers are posting things about other kids in their schools on their own pages--derogatory remarks about weight, sexual preferences, even photos and videos of them fornacating with unwilling participants. It's the internet after all and all the depravity of the world comes out feeling, even with their names tattooed on it sometimes, that they are somehow safely hidden behind that computer. I've even had one of my best friends (yes, she's still one of my best friends--well, I think so anyway) tell me I'm an "idiot" because I disagreed with her politics. This is a highly intelligent, wonderful woman, well-educated, brought up "right", and used to be one of the most open-minded individuals I've ever known. She's not perfect by any means, and all of us have the ability to be an asshole once in a while. But, it's not of her character to be so asinine. Yet, over the internet and in a moment of something that she feels so adamant about--a complete asshole about her view. I'm no better; I believe I was a bit asinine back. But seriously, what made her or I think that was ok? What makes someone believe that poisoning someone is funny or acceptable behavior? What makes someone think reaching for a gun is ok in a dispute?
For one, I believe that we've reached a point where it's acceptable in the back of our pea brains. We see it constantly in the media--jerks getting not their just desserts, but rewarded for being assholes. Kanye West, Mel Gibson, Donald Trump...we relish in watching stupid reality shows that make the assholes even bigger assholes for ratings. We see in the media, both online and on television, constant asshole jokes. It makes people famous, being an asshole. I mean, seriously, why should some jerk that makes idle threats and teases a handicapped child be in the mass media at all? (Refer to previous blog if needed.) We treat assholes like celebrities--nothing gets you your 15 minutes of fame faster than killing someone with eye drops or bullying a handicapped kid. Heck, I've worked with people that I would describe as assholes, and I don't believe any of them would stoop so low. We almost seem to be trying to create a new breed of asshole--one that is a cross between zombie and super jerk. Almost a dead human being with no sense of right or wrong, no real feelings, and someone that, at least sort of, used to be a real human being.
We have no apologies for people that we've wronged. Yes, I know in friendship, like my friend that got all sideways about her political beliefs, we can and should overlook the occassional indiscreet indiscretion. She and I have been friends for over 25 years. An indiscretion here or there over the past two decades plus, well, that's nothing compared to the friendship that has endured. On the other hand, I seriously doubt that that young woman that now suffers from blackouts and headaches has any love loss for that jerk of an ex-boyfriend now sitting in prison for poisioning her over several months. I bet the families of those two people that I cited that died because of assholes have no love loss for those two idiots that killed them. I'd bet they even thought about killing them themselves. But that's the real difference between true assholes and the rest of us. Assholes have no apologies for anyone they've ever hurt. Just sorry ass excuses why their actions were "ok" or justified. When that football player realized he'd taken being an asshole too far, he saw no way out. Or the only way at that point he saw how to redeem himself for taking asshole behavior too far, was taking his own life. What a sad end to finding out that you are that big of an asshole...
We've become intoxicated by the idea of assholes. We watch Donald Trump fire someone on television. It's soooo funny when he does it (ok, not my words, actually a friend that professed to love that show). I personally find it demeaning and sad. But, what the rest of the non-famous assholes have forgotten, and I suspect even the rest of us a little since the asshole in each of us seems to come out more often now than ever, is that those people standing on the other side of the room asked to be there, are compensated for being there, and know going in that they might or most definately will be humiliated by one of the biggest assholes of all time. Most of us used to have a momentary lapse in reason and get upset at the kid at the McDonald's counter. Generally, we felt bad afterwards--like maybe we overstepped a boundary. Now instead a lot of us tell ourselves the sorriest ass excuses to write off our own poor behavior. We are letting the assholes of the world turn us into the same zombiefied morons that they are. The question we might want to ask ourselves isn't whether or not it's worth the 15 minutes of fame, but are we really little more than zombies just waiting to burst out of our little shells and eat other people alive? All I can say is I hope not.
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