"The truth eventually comes out." Ain't that the truth? The truth always, always, comes out, but usually, not near as fast as a lie will perpetuate itself. At a certain point, I realized the best way to combat lies is to toot off the truth in contrast and try to ensure that both sides, the lie and the truth, are there for everyone to consider. The problem with that is it's exhausting work. Liars will tell everyone their story. Truth tellers generally tell only the people that matter--either to them or in the situation. The lies inevitably dance around the room, while the truth sits like a wall flower on the sides engaging only certain conversations.
It seems counterintuitive. We all like to say we know the "truth", yet we'll say things like "there's three sides to every story." This side, that side and the "truth somewhere in the middle". But the reality is there's always a side that is mostly true and one that is mostly not. So, the truth isn't anywhere near the middle. My friend Mary told me about another friend of hers that has been dealing with a liar. A man she works with has been telling lies to her boss and costing her on her evaluations. He's not trustworthy and she has to verify that he's completed what he's supposed to have done. Still, the guy is trying to get her job. My friend's advice to her was maybe to "cozy" up to the guy, play nice, try and win him over. The whole get more bees with honey. I laughed. Bees have stingers, so who the hell wants bees?!?! My advice, from experience, nothing is going to change a liar. Ever. The only effective way to make a leopard change its spots would be with bleach and painstaking scrubbing. Not worth the effort. Instead, since her friend is honest and in a position of authority, make sure that the boss starts seeing what kind of person the guy is. Don't let him bait her. That's what he does and especially if he has an audience. He intentionally baits her with lies, and then when she's upset because of the lies, he puts them in a "public" setting where she looks like the bad guy. I can totally relate. Being an overly honest person (not sure why being overly honest is a bad thing) can be difficult. My Grams used to say "choose your battles". For an honest person dealing with a liar, often the way we deal with it is to walk away. In this case, she needs to walk away, but unfortunately she needs to make sure she lets the boss know what this guy is failing at. Right now, she's upset because her boss thinks she's having the problems because this guy complains. She figures it's lies and her work should speak for itself. Sounds logical, but the real truth is that the truth usually doesn't come out until after liars get their way.
Liars don't care what the truth is, and honestly, neither do most people. If we cared what the truth was, we would watch the cable channel that covers the House and the Senate whenever they are in session so that we could decide for ourselves. Instead most people trust the media to tell them what the truth is. Their version anyway. Sensationalism is the name of the game. Liars count on people wanting a version of the story tossed up for their listening pleasure like a soap opera. People love bandwagons. If everyone else believes it, they damn well should also. Doesn't mean it's true, but doesn't matter at that point. Who cares? It's a great story. The honest person sits back and waits for the truth to come out. Or walks away and waits for the truth to come out. But by the time the truth comes out the lies are the only stories anyone remembers. Think about it. How many times have you heard someone telling or relaying a story and someone correct them and the response be "oh, I didn't know that"? Then, they move on to the next story. The truth was the punchline that fell flat.
I'd like to say that since I know the truth should be tooted off as much as the lies that I always do so. But like I said earlier, keeping up with someone else's lies is exhausting work. I simply don't have that much time in my days to waste. I've tried before. On top of being exhausting, it's frustrating. Nothing is more frustrating to an honest person than dishonest people. Trying to keep up with dishonest people to make sure that the truth is out there is like getting wisdom teeth pulled. It's painful, can be bloody, and a lot of people don't understand what your saying. Winston Churchill said, "A lie will go around the world twice while the truth is putting its boots on." Yep. Because a lie will perpetuate itself while the truth has to be told over and over again. Who the hell has the time and energy to waste on that? Hell, now I need a nap just thinking about it.
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