And this is how dating ends..

Unquestionable loyalty.  I don't know.  Maybe that's what makes a real relationship.  I have unwavering loyalty for my friends.  I know the makes me pretty bad ass by most standards.  But unwavering loyalty for a partner?  A man?  Well, technically I've done that, rode that pony, and been thrown.   I'm absolutely sure that I know plenty of guys that feel the same way.  I see my girls and my guys, all wishing.   I'm not the only one.

Of course, love just doesn't work that way. I'm not really sure how it works.  I've watched friends, both, dating, each other, fight and argue because others just keep stirring the shit.  You'd think it would've died.  It might've if they hadn't realized someone was screwing their opportunity.  It doesn't matter how.  What matters is they are still together.  It's arguably true that love survives all.  Because all the fuckers trying to end it, jealous or ugly or just looking for entertainment, have no control over true love.

Hahaha... Okay maybe.  Do I believe?  Well I love to.  In true love anyway.  But I don't.  I mean come on.  I'm 40+... Grown children.  I just pray I taught them what is or isn't right they know it when they see it.  My Granddaddy always said you know.  You know it's love.  Of course he was a heavy drinker by today's standards.  Yet, I was supposedly the child of true love.  That didn't actually work for my parents either.  So then, what is true love?

Then you realize love is what you give.  It's not about true anything. Nope.  True love is how you feel. About the "one".  About friends that you think of as family.  About anyone that has always been there for you. As you get older, the odds that the person or persons you meet will always be there for you, well, they are fewer and farther between.  Partially because dedicated are thinner as we get older, I'd argue they were always thin, or we just become more guarded.

So what do we do?  Just keep trying.  It's human nature.  We try.  We want hope; any hope is trying.  If we happen to be in love, then we keep trying.  I lost a really good friend a few years ago.  I was supposed to marry him in February.  But if I really wanted to, if he was really the one, we all know... Well I know.  I would've married him years ago.  There's simple as simple gets.  My life would've been super easy if I had.  He even made that argument.  But I'm a dumbass with heart.

If you ask me if I feel like I failed myself or my boys, well, no.  I didn't. My boys didn't live with a poor example of love.  Okay, granted they didn't live with an example of real love either.... But they get this is their story to write way better than I did.  What I know is being alone is better than less than perfect for me.  What they know is find your unicorn, your perfect, your Gumby, your perfect wand.  It's not that it doesn't exist.  It's just that we fool ourselves with youth and fantasy.  Reality can be amazing when you don't kill it before it gets started or start too early.