Let's face it. I've never marched to the beat of any drum other than my own. My family while proud of my military service now certainly never wanted me to choose that. Even when I was in the military I didn't receive accolades for towing the line. I was an outside the box thinker and that was actually a huge plus in the military. I've never needed, nor desired, everyone to agree with me. It occurred to me at a very young age I didn't think like most people. I liked to form my own opinion about people and things, regardless of "warnings" or negative feedback from others about anyone or anything. If I liked you, it didn't matter that 10 people I also was friends with didn't like you, and as some can attest to even to this day, I'd give up ten "friends" demanding I not be friends with someone. I didn't like being bullied as a kid, so it's probably of little surprise that I do not like it as an adult. Bullied? Yes, that's what we call it when group think takes over... We also use terms like mob mentality, "mean girls", and fascism.
Is that a little over dramatic? No, it's just a slippery slope where once on that slide many people can't, and even a lot of the times, don't want to get off. Group think starts very simply. For example, you hang with Joe and Bob. The three of you all think that the same thing about cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are all good looking, dumber than a box of rocks, and slutty. Joe may think the slutty part more than you. However, Joe is your buddy. You don't really have any reason to disagree with him. It is just easier to keep the peace. Besides, what does it matter if you agree or not. Eventually Joe has surrounded himself and you with people that either agree with him or just don't want to argue the point. You start to realize that even the people that won't argue the point, although initially opposed to his idea that all cheerleaders are whores are now mimicking his rhetoric. That's group think. You begin to think as the group agrees or acquiesces to. It is an unfortunate part of human nature.
Some of us have a pack mentality and we can take that pack mentality to extremes. Cults are a great example of the extreme. Of course, everyone knows that there is some amount of brainwashing that goes on with cults. Never happen to us, right? We're not going to be brainwashed, but that's already happening in the example with Joe and the cheerleaders. You have given whatever your opinion is or was through consistent feedback supporting, or seemingly supporting, of Joe's opinion. Joe's opinion has become fact for your group. That's all fine and dandy. But who cares about the cheerleaders anyway? It's just an example. Yet, I bet you, knowing my readership base, are are always confused by people that burn their neighborhood and loot in protest. Admittedly, no matter how we look at it, it seems ridiculous. Nonsensical. Yet it occurs over and over. And no, not just blacks. This has been a common occurrence over centuries, even here in the USA with common white folk in the early 1900s when there were no labor laws to protect the average workers. But still, even then, completely ridiculous. Yet as a group begins to anger, it's a proven fact over and over, eventually the anger becomes its own force. One person throws something--a punch, a chair, a rock, whatever-- and the feeding frenzy begins. Average everyday human beings turn into piranha. And no, it doesn't have to be anger about an issue. I'm sure some remember people literally beating the crap out of each other for Cabbage Patch Kids?? A Christmas present for their kids and they literally lost their damn minds fighting over them. A group can quickly become a mob, especially when they feel like they are the majority or that they all are wanting a limited amount of something. People have trampled other people to run away from something. The pack just takes off and pays no attention to what we would normally view as acceptable behavior.
Well, you're not one of those people, but really? Ask yourself these questions: When someone disagrees with you do you immediately ask someone else who agrees with you to "help" you "win" the discussion? Do you pretty much have only friends who agree with you on pretty much most stuff? Most people? I know plenty of very educated people that maintain only people like themselves as friends. They don't have the ability to make nice with people that don't share their beliefs and opinions. How am I friends with them? Because I share some of their opinions, but I can tell you that many of them when they get irate with me over something we disagree on--well, we are never going to be real friends. Do I care if they don't want to be friends anymore? No, actually it's a big relief. I had one friend who literally threaten another friend because they had two different opinions--opposed opinions. I had a totally different opinion than either of them, but the one "friend" got pissed at me because if I didn't agree with him and in his mind that meant I had to agree with the other friend. Needless to say, he and I are no longer friends and we had been good friends for a while. You do not threaten someone just because they disagree with you. Geez. But he was so entrenched with like minded friends, other than me, that he couldn't see how anyone could be friends and not agree. He literally carried his group think with him at all times.
Am I immune to group think? I don't think anyone is immune. You have to actively make the effort to expand your mind and intentionally maintain friends with people who are different than you. I'm not sure how easy that is for some people. For those that use the Myers & Briggs system in personality assessment--the overall mix of the 16 personality types seems like you easily would find people like you since Myers & Briggs Foundation shows that is seems like a relatively even mix. We all know this is ridiculous. We know that 2% of the population are gifted--you can drop them in the worst neighborhood, in the worst school, with nothing to help them excel--and yet, if they are part of that 2% they will excel. A system used by many companies, Enneagram Institute's personality indicators divides us into 256 personalities with 9 basic types instead of 16 based on 4 basics. Now, when we think about that--bam! Now we understand why it might be easy for some to find people that match them and difficult for others--It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize 256 different personalities would more easily explain why some of us find it difficult to associate with people different than ourselves. Should we try? I don't know. It depends on you. I always try. It helps me learn more and I still want to learn something new everyday. If you have to have that support, can't be open to other people's points of view, need other people to agree with you on everything, then it's probably not for you. I'd love to tell you to try, but if you are thinking about trying, then don't worry. You're not one of the people that can't. You're just one of the people that never thought about it. It's a step to getting away from being at risk for group think, mob mentality and the negative impacts they can have. Exchange of ideas and broadened horizons are on the other side of that effort. Well worth the effort if you can do it.
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