There's nothing I hate more than being up in the middle of the night for no reason. There's plenty of good reasons to be up in the middle of the night. No reason is certainly not one of them. I'm probably pretty fortunate since this doesn't happen to me very much. So what to do? Well, what the hell, I'll write for you. Now, since there's no reason I'm up, I'm not sure what to write about. Well, that's probably bullshit. I've got all kinds of things to write about. But which subject in the middle of the night? Well, that's pretty damn simple since earlier today I saw this post about lack of sex being related to mental health issues like depression, anxiety and paranoia. I can't argue with that. Sounds "sound" to me, but is it really sound?
First, before you younger girls that have rode more bulls and ponies than a rodeo cowboy, no, sweetie. It is not a good idea for you to start screwing everything in town. There are endorphins that release during sex that are the same as the ones when you eat chocolate. This is caused by oxytocin and it is related to making us feel "happy". Problem is that the drop from that euphoria is different with sex rather than chocolate. There's really no guilt from having a little piece of chocolate unless you are unhappy with your weight--and even then I have never felt that guilty after scarfing down a Snickers bar. However, there is a lot of negative emotions that can follow sex. Anyone that has ever slept with an ex and then laid there thinking "what the hell was I thinking?" absolutely can understand that. So random sexual encounters can cause a lot of hidden stress on you. I used to have a friend that had a lot of random partners. One, she aged faster than the rest of us for the most part. But even when she seemed happy there was an emptiness and a bit of jealousy whenever any of our group had a boyfriend. The negative emotions just aren't worth it.
But still, is there any "science" behind the idea that sex helps you feel more emotionally healthy? Well, certainly the release of oxytocin is some amount of proof. Oxytocin is actually a hormone that results in the release of endorphins. Oxytocin itself is related to child birth--it helps contract the muscles in a woman's abdomen, and for men, it helps with testosterone and sperm release. But, it's called the "cuddle hormone"? Yes, because when positive things, like having fun with your dog--assuming you love your dog--can increase the oxytocin also. Of course, there are all the positives associated with oxytocin, but there is a study that shows that oxytocin release was also released with negative association with men that had "mommy issues"--aka. negative bonding experiences. The end result is the exact opposite of the "cuddle" reputation that oxytocin normally has. This is still an emotional hormone released in the brain so it is affected by, no surprise here, your mental state of mind. It improves your overall feeling, but the euphoria is going to be temporary. If it is associated with negative response, then the fall from the euphoria is not going to be that good. Another reason to avoid the random sex partners.
While we're on that whole random thing, keep in mind also that it's different for mentally "healthy" men versus mentally "healthy" women. Oxytocin affects bonding for both, but again, it affects men differently than it does women. In recent studies, oxytocin tends to help men identify competitive relationships while it appears to help women become more facilitating. Another words it makes men more competitive and women more accommodating. If we are talking about me, who we usually use as example, I'm pretty much happy as a clam when I'm getting laid regularly. I've stayed in a couple really crappy relationships just for the sex--bending over backwards for someone that wasn't mentally healthy. After reading the study for this paragraph, I'm thinking there might be a lot of women that do this. But I've also noticed in those "negative" relationships, that the men have once you want out become desperate to keep you under their thumb. In hindsight, the competitive nature that is released may actually be cause for that. There's plenty of sayings--regardless of mental health level that could be associated with the "competitive" streak of oxytocin. A man wants a challenge? A man only wants you when you are walking away? Even in someone that is pretty mentally healthy overall, it also can increase negative responses, bringing back early emotions that may be negative bonding experiences. There are studies now that show that it may also emphasize all emotions. It has in some studies been shown to make some too sensitive, too emotionally vulnerable. It all is going to tend to your mindset.
So is sex actually mentally healthy for you? Well, yes and no. If you are in a healthy relationship, absolutely. If you are working towards a relationship, I would say yes. If you are in an abusive relationship, it sounds like it might be counterproductive. If you're just running from random to random, it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like that the "cuddle" hormone might be reeking havoc whether you're male or female--just the havoc is going to vary from person to person based on your own emotional state. I don't think anyone could argue against sex being healthy for two people in a good relationship. But I don't think sex is going to be making anyone insane sane. :)
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