It's that time of year again. Auld Lang Syne. Times Gone By. (For those of you that didn't know what Auld Lang Syne means, I looked it up--yes, I didn't know either.) Ok, so Times Gone By isn't exactly as interesting as Auld Lang Syne, but it is that time of year that we look back at another year gone. I suppose it's been an interesting year. The end of the war in Iraq (let's not go into the trauma of the bombings starting back up as soon as we pulled out--another blog perhaps). I'm pretty sure that Lindsey Lohan was arrested again, and Michael Jackson's doctor was found guilty...(ok, maybe not pretty sure, I might be guessing). There's the extent of my world knowledge. (Ok, maybe not, but this is not about all those weirdos that get paid for entertaining us.) This is quite simply another year gone by and all it means, or not.
If you had told me 10 years ago that I'd be living in Kansas, I'd have told you that you had lost your mind. My ex is from Missouri, and I remember telling him 20 years ago that we didn't need to get married if he ever was thinking about moving back after the Navy. Funny how you can remember certain conversations like they were yesterday. We had gone to his parents' farm for Christmas, and in spite of spending a lot of time on my grandparents' farm growing up, at the time, anything smaller than Jacksonville, Florida was unimaginable. I wanted to stay in a major city, preferably a shoreline city where the beach was never more than a 30 minute drive. (I was such a beach bunny back in the day.) In retrospect, that was probably one of my more ridiculous conversations. I'd like nothing more than to have 3 to 5 acres, with the neighbors far enough away that I could wander around my yard stark naked if I choose to. (With bushes or trees blocking the view, perverts.) The beach would be nice, I'll admit, but frankly, I can go visit the beach and be just as happy. In fact, now it seems to be more of a novelty--possibly because I look better in clothes now than my bikini. Ok, probably not, but feeling the need to maintain a hard body becomes more important closer to a beach. I'm quite content not worrying about it. Kansas isn't Missouri either. It's not as flat as they claim, at least not the eastern half of the state. It's actually quite beautiful, and probably a geologist's dream come true when you can drive by proof of shifting ground anywhere in the state. Of course, ten years ago, I wanted nothing more than to live near my grandparents' farm (without the farm--can you see me feeding chickens?). Kansas was a million miles away and in the wrong direction.
Home, or at least my childhood home, was a couple miles off Lake Erie. I longed to go to Red Wings games and go ride roller coasters at Cedar Point. I missed just sitting on the shoreline staring across the lake at the Canadian coast. That would've been side-tracked if one person had made different decisions (and that really is a different blog), but the train chugged right along. The boys and I moved back to the area my mother's family had sprung from. It sounds like a dream come true. It probably was for a while. I had been on the Red Wings waiting list since the first year back to college. My season tickets came through literally three months after we moved. The boys and I would drive up to Detroit to see the Wings. Three playoff seasons and two regular seasons, 14th row, right off the 1st and 3rd period home goal line. Hello?!? Can you say completely awesome!! Cedar Point was as great as it ever was, and I even got into photography again. My shoreline at the lake had changed, now instead of needing a blanket to sit on, they had placed a walkway and benches there. Apparently, I'm not the only that could find peace there. But everything else had changed.
Home wasn't home anymore. The old Jeep plant had been torn down--all that was left was the immortal stacks. Not sure why they left those, but I hope they leave them. It's all that's left of a World War II monument. Where all the Jeeps for the war were built, and a testament to the strength of American women who did what no other women were ever expected to do--help win a war. Thanks to those women, we all still speak English. My grandparents' farm house had been mutilated from the outside with brick-efface. They didn't even see fit to try to keep the old Senator's home intact. Forget the fact that my grandmother had it recognized as an Historic Site. Apparently, the State of Ohio did. Reminds me of that song by the Pretenders (Chrissy Hind was from Ohio)--"I went back to Ohio, but my pretty countryside had been paved down the middle by a government with no pride. The farms of Ohio had been replaced by shopping malls, and muzak filled the air." All my childhood dreams of a great white farm house with raspberries and blackberries in the ditch, a gi-normous lilac, pear and Lincoln apple trees, evergreens and oaks, all gone. Just a rat hole with brick-efface. The area was already feeling the crunch of the economy failing--hundreds of degreed personnel unemployed because the union chokehold where the only way to continue to meet the contracts was to let go of anyone who wasn't union and didn't have the title "manager". The us and them mentality was definately hitting the brink, and now one might say that the tables were turned. Truth is that those tables turned a long time ago. A junior engineer working 60 hours a week for $50K versus a high school diploma making $45K for 40 hours of repetitive non-skilled work. Yea, something is seriously wrong there. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for someone making enough money to pay their bills and live the American dream. It was the fact that maybe the American dream has become "what have you done for me lately" rather than the American dream as most of us envision it. It was disheartening, to say the least. Other than my beautiful Lake Erie and my Red Wings, well, it wasn't home anymore. Home had left shortly after I did, if not sooner.
Sometimes I still lament over leaving South Carolina. Ten years ago, I really couldn't imagine staying there. A crazy (and by crazy I mean violent) ex-boyfriend. "What are you?" almost everytime I went to Walmart, Target, Winn Dixie or the Piggly Wiggly (for those of you that don't know me personally, I apparently am ambiguous looking). And, of course, the curse that seems to always follow me--crazy people are magnetized to me (and South Carolina seems to have an unfair amount of crazy--all the inbreeding perhaps). I remember a conversation with the boyfriend (the one mentioned earlier, not the nutjob) that I had a couple years before I moved. He didn't want to "defend" me anymore. Like I said, funny how some conversations stick in the mind. It wasn't anything I did he told me. I knew that; everyone around me knew that (ask my sisters). But, he had done it before for his ex-wife and that hadn't worked out for him. He envisioned me leaving him for someone else. The conversation was not the best conversation. What I remember most is the cracking noise in my head as my heart broke all over the place. Still, I made some of my closest friends there in the upstate. I rekindled my love for motorcycles, and I lived in one of the most diversely beautiful areas both in people and scenery. The mountains an hour away, and the ocean a little over a 3 to 4 hour drive (depending on the destination). I loved to go hiking, visiting the fish farms (the boys so loved the trout farm up in the foothills), and riding the curvy mountain roads.
Auld Lang Syne. Times Gone By. Memories one after the other pile up for most of this time of year. Some we might lament, but to what end? The future is just as bright as the past. My Grams used to say that the past is so much clearer in the future. Maybe that's why it's so much brighter than the present. Today is only as clear as our looking glasses allow it to be. The truth is that time will continue to tick away. Ten years from today, I'm sure I will look back at today and lament the changes of some things but still relish in the brightness of the some of them too. Such is life. As I remember these things then, I'm sure once I review everything as I have here, all I'll be able to say is the only thing that seems to say it all. Auld Lang Syne.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
what about your friends?
This is the time of year when many of us are busy with religious holidays. Whether Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, or just celebrating Santa Claus and an impending New Year, we all try to spend time with family and friends. If we consider the things that are the same for almost all these religions and their rituals, they almost all include giving and receiving gifts. We give gifts to our family and friends to celebrate those things that they bring into our lives. Friends, however, really do have a very special place for us. Family--well, they are given, and many of us can honestly say that we sometimes dread the thought of being around family. But, friends--well, they are the family that we choose. The longer and deeper our friendships, the more important they are. So it's this time of the year that I'm very blessed and I am very thankful for the friends in my life. Frankly, I just couldn't send enough Holiday Blessings to my friends, so it saddens me when I hear that some people have no friends.
There was an occassion earlier this year where an older gentleman I know told me that I have no friends. The comment could've been hurtful, but it wasn't since I simply know that it's not true. I have friends that worry about me and vice versa, friends that are like sisters and brothers, friends that I know I could count on in a pinch. And, I simply told him so. So I haven't lived in Kansas very long, but those deep friendships take time, cultivating--strong friendships start the same as any other potential friendship does--but time and cultivating are the only way a true friendship grows. I am blessed with friends that I know would be there for me in an emergency, and vice versa. I even know a couple that would take a bullet for me. It's a trust earned, not given, and I'm proud to have friends that have proven the test of trust and that I have proven that trust to. After explaining this to him, he surprised me.
"I don't have any friends like that," he said.
"What about your wife?" I asked. She was sitting across from him.
"That's different. She's family."
I probably should've stopped there, but I asked anyway. "Don't you have a friend that you've known since you were a kid or when you two first married? Anyone like that?"
"No. I've never had anyone like that."
I didn't know what to say. Seriously. I was speechless. (And if you know me, this really doesn't happen very often.) He has no friends. "What about the people that you hang out with here? Certainly you consider one of them friends."
"No. They're acquaintances."
Hmmm, I thought. I have acquaintances. I don't really enjoy them enough to sit around with them for hours. I suppose if I had no friends that would be my only option, but of course, at this point, I was passed speechless to dumbfounded. Only acquaintances. I've only had acquaintances--like for all of two months after I moved to Kansas. I made friends with a couple of people that I'm proud to say are still great friends after over 3 years. He and his wife stared at me, waiting for a response. All I could muster up was "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry that you haven't had at least one longtime friend in your life. I can't imagine."
I seriously can't. As I've already stated, I have such great friends--ones that are so near and dear to my heart--that I just couldn't imagine what my life would be without them. I dare say it would be very lonely. Even if I were happily married, I couldn't imagine life without any friends other than my spouse. To not have anyone that is as close as family, that has earned that trust and respect and vice versa, well, I simply don't understand. (Frankly, don't want to.) Still it got me to thinking. Why don't some people have any friends? It's not that complicated. Really. A friend expects the same of you as you should be able to expect of them. Pretty simple. (I know I can really over-simplify some things considering how complex of a person I am, but this is one of those things where the KISS principle really does apply.) I've always found that if I treat people the way I expect to be treated even in those moments that I've screwed up (I am only human afterall) that my friends have forgiven me my momentary lapses and vice versa. Why? Because we have a bond built with trust, and we simply can't and won't give that up.
Of course, I've been burned, as I suspect this gentleman has. But consider that being burned and then cutting out everyone else as potential friends means that there will be no other chances at friendship again. Ok. Perhaps, that works for some people. I find it disheartening and tragic, but it's their lives and their decision. Being lonely simply because someone let you down and proved they weren't a friend is likened to staying in the house forever because one day you walked outside and fell down.
However, it was also pointed out to me by one of my very dearest friends that people that have no friends themselves probably don't know how to be a friend. Let me re-state that considering how poignant it is. People that have no friends themselves probably don't know how to be a friend. Ironic, right? To have friends, we must be able to be friends. We can be our own worse enemies.
I've observed some people that I consider in similar circumstances since this all came about. The one thing that they have in common seems to be they have no friends. The reasoning behind that seems to vary though. In this gentleman's case, it seems that he is either too guarded or too easily put off. He's not really that friendly or pleasant initially. But he also seems to surround himself with people that he knows will disappoint him. The people that most people say they wouldn't trust, or don't, seem to be the people that he spends the most time with. My Grams used to say, 'You get what you pay for.' Well, with friendship, you pay with trust--given and received. If the people we surround ourselves with are incapable to make the trust payments, we certainly are not going to do so in kind. (At this point, we could debate the perverbial chicken-egg thing, but we won't.)
The common denominator--regardless of the numerous numerators--is simple. Trustworthy earn and keep friends. Those that aren't trustworthy don't. Those that make friends under pretenses aren't trustworthy; doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that. Isolationists don't have friends either. But again, chicken-egg. Are they isolationists because they were burned? Perhaps, but do they end up bringing it all on themselves by intentionally surrounding themselves with people that they know will disappoint them so that they won't be so attached, hurt or even devastated that someone let them down again? I don't know. I've been burned--it didn't turn me one way or the other. I still have friends, and I still make new friends. Yes, sometimes, I still get a little scalded. It happens, but the one or two here or there is not worth never having the great and wonderful friends that I have in my life.
Whether it's Christmas, Kwanzaa, some Pagen holiday, or just ringing in the New Year (whatever my friends celebrate this time of year), I want to say Thank You for being my friend. Thanks for blessing my life with the wonderful person that you are; my life is a little, if not a lot, brighter because of you. I'm reminded how wonderful each and everyone of you are and just peacock proud to say that you are my friend.
There was an occassion earlier this year where an older gentleman I know told me that I have no friends. The comment could've been hurtful, but it wasn't since I simply know that it's not true. I have friends that worry about me and vice versa, friends that are like sisters and brothers, friends that I know I could count on in a pinch. And, I simply told him so. So I haven't lived in Kansas very long, but those deep friendships take time, cultivating--strong friendships start the same as any other potential friendship does--but time and cultivating are the only way a true friendship grows. I am blessed with friends that I know would be there for me in an emergency, and vice versa. I even know a couple that would take a bullet for me. It's a trust earned, not given, and I'm proud to have friends that have proven the test of trust and that I have proven that trust to. After explaining this to him, he surprised me.
"I don't have any friends like that," he said.
"What about your wife?" I asked. She was sitting across from him.
"That's different. She's family."
I probably should've stopped there, but I asked anyway. "Don't you have a friend that you've known since you were a kid or when you two first married? Anyone like that?"
"No. I've never had anyone like that."
I didn't know what to say. Seriously. I was speechless. (And if you know me, this really doesn't happen very often.) He has no friends. "What about the people that you hang out with here? Certainly you consider one of them friends."
"No. They're acquaintances."
Hmmm, I thought. I have acquaintances. I don't really enjoy them enough to sit around with them for hours. I suppose if I had no friends that would be my only option, but of course, at this point, I was passed speechless to dumbfounded. Only acquaintances. I've only had acquaintances--like for all of two months after I moved to Kansas. I made friends with a couple of people that I'm proud to say are still great friends after over 3 years. He and his wife stared at me, waiting for a response. All I could muster up was "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry that you haven't had at least one longtime friend in your life. I can't imagine."
I seriously can't. As I've already stated, I have such great friends--ones that are so near and dear to my heart--that I just couldn't imagine what my life would be without them. I dare say it would be very lonely. Even if I were happily married, I couldn't imagine life without any friends other than my spouse. To not have anyone that is as close as family, that has earned that trust and respect and vice versa, well, I simply don't understand. (Frankly, don't want to.) Still it got me to thinking. Why don't some people have any friends? It's not that complicated. Really. A friend expects the same of you as you should be able to expect of them. Pretty simple. (I know I can really over-simplify some things considering how complex of a person I am, but this is one of those things where the KISS principle really does apply.) I've always found that if I treat people the way I expect to be treated even in those moments that I've screwed up (I am only human afterall) that my friends have forgiven me my momentary lapses and vice versa. Why? Because we have a bond built with trust, and we simply can't and won't give that up.
Of course, I've been burned, as I suspect this gentleman has. But consider that being burned and then cutting out everyone else as potential friends means that there will be no other chances at friendship again. Ok. Perhaps, that works for some people. I find it disheartening and tragic, but it's their lives and their decision. Being lonely simply because someone let you down and proved they weren't a friend is likened to staying in the house forever because one day you walked outside and fell down.
However, it was also pointed out to me by one of my very dearest friends that people that have no friends themselves probably don't know how to be a friend. Let me re-state that considering how poignant it is. People that have no friends themselves probably don't know how to be a friend. Ironic, right? To have friends, we must be able to be friends. We can be our own worse enemies.
I've observed some people that I consider in similar circumstances since this all came about. The one thing that they have in common seems to be they have no friends. The reasoning behind that seems to vary though. In this gentleman's case, it seems that he is either too guarded or too easily put off. He's not really that friendly or pleasant initially. But he also seems to surround himself with people that he knows will disappoint him. The people that most people say they wouldn't trust, or don't, seem to be the people that he spends the most time with. My Grams used to say, 'You get what you pay for.' Well, with friendship, you pay with trust--given and received. If the people we surround ourselves with are incapable to make the trust payments, we certainly are not going to do so in kind. (At this point, we could debate the perverbial chicken-egg thing, but we won't.)
The common denominator--regardless of the numerous numerators--is simple. Trustworthy earn and keep friends. Those that aren't trustworthy don't. Those that make friends under pretenses aren't trustworthy; doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that. Isolationists don't have friends either. But again, chicken-egg. Are they isolationists because they were burned? Perhaps, but do they end up bringing it all on themselves by intentionally surrounding themselves with people that they know will disappoint them so that they won't be so attached, hurt or even devastated that someone let them down again? I don't know. I've been burned--it didn't turn me one way or the other. I still have friends, and I still make new friends. Yes, sometimes, I still get a little scalded. It happens, but the one or two here or there is not worth never having the great and wonderful friends that I have in my life.
Whether it's Christmas, Kwanzaa, some Pagen holiday, or just ringing in the New Year (whatever my friends celebrate this time of year), I want to say Thank You for being my friend. Thanks for blessing my life with the wonderful person that you are; my life is a little, if not a lot, brighter because of you. I'm reminded how wonderful each and everyone of you are and just peacock proud to say that you are my friend.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
defending a law or defending women...
This morning I watched an excerpt on CBS Morning News about Kansas' new abortion laws. I was unaware. Three new laws were signed by the new conservative anti-choice governor that I backed in the last election. While I knew he was anti-choice, I wanted to be sure that we had a governor that would back our veterans and military in a state coat up with Army and Air Force bases and a strong representation of Navy and Marine Corps veterans. I didn't imagine that little after a year of placing that vote I would be blindsided by what my morning Kansas news didn't bother to tell me about.
We are all familiar with Roe versus Wade, the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in 1973. Most of us have an opinion, although most of us rarely feel the need to bother with it. Truth is in most polls and studies show that most--53%--believe abortions should be acceptable in some circumstances. Now where we draw that line seems to be a line in the sand. Only 22% say it should be illegal in all circumstances and 23% say it should be legal in all circumstances. Of course, the last Gallup poll in 2009 might not be the most accurate measurement for 2 reasons: one is it forced one to define themselves as one or the other. How many of us will define ourselves as not for life? Really? Next, it really wasn't completely without skewing type questions...toward pro-life/anti-choice. Regardless of the skewing, 76% believe abortion should be legal although this allows for no line in the sand to be determined. That should be it, sort of, right? We live in a nation of majority rules, and 76% seems pretty cut and dry. Or is it?
Of the 76%, we don't agree where to define the line. We choose to believe since we are the majority there is little to discuss. Most agree that stem cell research of aborted fetus--another words intentionally aborting a pregnancy to do testing and/or to save another human being's life is morbid and/or immoral. But, we stop there. We don't want to discuss it; we would like conversations like that to take place in the privacy of ours, or others, homes. Not on public display. These are still to the mass majority of us--private matters. However, that 22% is never going to let it go. Ever.
The 22% have successfully gotten the Supreme Court to agree that states have the right to legislate what is or isn't the legal definition of abortion. Kansas is the next state to take advantage of this. A couple of years ago an abortion doctor was murdered in cold blood in Kansas--to supposedly save babies. Murdering a human being to the 22% may be a shame, but a price to pay. (I'm so confused by this logic this is where I'll leave that statement.)
Now, Kansas has enacted a law to prevent federal money from going to Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood doesn't encourage abortion; it does openly discuss all options with young women and men including abortion. Education is not a bad thing. Telling teenagers to abstain from sex has been extremely effective (feel the sarcasm) for South Carolina--still number one in high school drop-out rates, still number one in single unwed mothers under the age of 21, still number one for those same girls to have multiple children before 21, still number one in domestic violence...Yes, Dorothy and Virginia, go have a baby and the state will help you pay for it. Nice. Planned Parenthood is about information and learning before the mistake happens, but if the mistake happens, trying to rectify and learn from it rather than pay a huge penalty for the mistake. So cut off funding, great idea.
One of the other 2 new laws requires a minor to have notorized signatures from both parents. Really? This is a blatant attempt to keep teenagers from getting abortions. It's hard enough for them to ask one parent (and ironically, I agree that they should ask one parent), but I've been a teenage girl. I wouldn't have wanted to tell my daddy. Not just no, Hell No. So what will these teenage girls options be? Pills over the internet from Uganda? At least Daddy won't know, and heck, she won't have to ask Mommy either. Best of all, if those pills aren't legitimate and since they are supposed to be used only under a doctor's care, well, complications that arise--no big deal, right?
Ok, so now, my reader is probably thinking of where they stand. Good, because now I really want to give you something to think about. Abortions have been around since the 1700s. Yes, really. They were illegalized, so to speak, in the late 1800s. (Sometimes it's debated if they were ever really legal. We'll not go there.) In the 1920s, the raging 1920s, none of us remember: flapper dresses that were shorter than micro-mini skirts, no real drinking age limit, no real limit on how old you had to be to marry or have sex, and teenagers were still teenagers with more access to vices (perceived or real, all for another blog). Estimates are that an average of 15,000 women died every year in the 1920s from illegal abortion complications. Men with coat hangers in back alleys tearing the insides of women, young and some even older, desperate not to be found out as a harlet. Consider the population then was 1/3rd of what it is now. Can we imagine only 30K illegal abortions a year? No, we all know that it will be way more than that. Let's not be naive. Can we imagine some 22 year old jerk off looking for a quick buck sticking a coat hanger up some 17 year old girl for $1000 for an illegal abortion? Yes, of course we can. Let's not stick our heads in the sand. Just because the silent generation is long gone, for the most part, doesn't mean that we shouldn't acknowledge what they knew and what they didn't like to discuss--just like we don't like to discuss it--pregnancy does happen. Unwanted pregnancy does happen. And desperate people will go to desperate measures.
Think about it. Why did Roe versus Wade pass in 1973? The silent generation had complete control of our government at the time. They were still voting, and the women of that generation knew unlike any other. My grandmother once told me that Roe versus Wade should never be overturned. She told me how women of wealth (women of wealth, yes, that was exactly how she said it) could get abortions, quietly, discreetly, in the safety of a hospital. While she never acknowledged that she might have been one of those women of wealth, she had been just like every other teen to 20-somethinger in the 1920s, hanging in clubs, wearing little flapper dresses, whether they were at the University or hobokans just hoping to find a husband. My grandmother said plenty of good women died because of the rights that men would take away from women. The right to privacy. The right to choose. Because men would or had taken away those rights.
Now we have holier than thou bible thumpers that want to take it away too, and more often than not, now they are women. This is a choice. Depending on our own personal religions, our own personal beliefs, and our own relationship with God or Gods or whatever we believe in. There are 76% of us that do believe that much. Are we willing to stand idly by as these people, who have their religious beliefs, their own personal ideals and idiology, drive what the rest of us assume is a private matter?
Consider that the state of Kansas is cutting back on funding to schools, funding for busing, funding for police, firemen, and other services. But they can afford to spend $785,040 to 5 December 2011 since May. Yes, they can afford to spend 3/4 of a million dollars in an economy in the sh*thole on lawyers rather than helping those in need. I'm mortified. Priorities a little f*cked up Governor Brownback? Ms. Mary Kay Culp? I don't give a sh*t about your idiotology. I don't agree with you, and I'm not happy that you're using my money to fund something that is intentionally trying to force a concept to as far as you can (since you can't overturn Roe v Wade) that 76% of don't agree with. You don't agree with abortions; good, don't have one!!! Give me back my taxes *ssholes, and I'll give it to someone interested in helping others like the Salvation Army, the Kansas Food Bank, or hell, even Planned Parenthood. I'm pretty sure that they can figure a better way to spend my money than you idiots.
We are all familiar with Roe versus Wade, the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in 1973. Most of us have an opinion, although most of us rarely feel the need to bother with it. Truth is in most polls and studies show that most--53%--believe abortions should be acceptable in some circumstances. Now where we draw that line seems to be a line in the sand. Only 22% say it should be illegal in all circumstances and 23% say it should be legal in all circumstances. Of course, the last Gallup poll in 2009 might not be the most accurate measurement for 2 reasons: one is it forced one to define themselves as one or the other. How many of us will define ourselves as not for life? Really? Next, it really wasn't completely without skewing type questions...toward pro-life/anti-choice. Regardless of the skewing, 76% believe abortion should be legal although this allows for no line in the sand to be determined. That should be it, sort of, right? We live in a nation of majority rules, and 76% seems pretty cut and dry. Or is it?
Of the 76%, we don't agree where to define the line. We choose to believe since we are the majority there is little to discuss. Most agree that stem cell research of aborted fetus--another words intentionally aborting a pregnancy to do testing and/or to save another human being's life is morbid and/or immoral. But, we stop there. We don't want to discuss it; we would like conversations like that to take place in the privacy of ours, or others, homes. Not on public display. These are still to the mass majority of us--private matters. However, that 22% is never going to let it go. Ever.
The 22% have successfully gotten the Supreme Court to agree that states have the right to legislate what is or isn't the legal definition of abortion. Kansas is the next state to take advantage of this. A couple of years ago an abortion doctor was murdered in cold blood in Kansas--to supposedly save babies. Murdering a human being to the 22% may be a shame, but a price to pay. (I'm so confused by this logic this is where I'll leave that statement.)
Now, Kansas has enacted a law to prevent federal money from going to Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood doesn't encourage abortion; it does openly discuss all options with young women and men including abortion. Education is not a bad thing. Telling teenagers to abstain from sex has been extremely effective (feel the sarcasm) for South Carolina--still number one in high school drop-out rates, still number one in single unwed mothers under the age of 21, still number one for those same girls to have multiple children before 21, still number one in domestic violence...Yes, Dorothy and Virginia, go have a baby and the state will help you pay for it. Nice. Planned Parenthood is about information and learning before the mistake happens, but if the mistake happens, trying to rectify and learn from it rather than pay a huge penalty for the mistake. So cut off funding, great idea.
One of the other 2 new laws requires a minor to have notorized signatures from both parents. Really? This is a blatant attempt to keep teenagers from getting abortions. It's hard enough for them to ask one parent (and ironically, I agree that they should ask one parent), but I've been a teenage girl. I wouldn't have wanted to tell my daddy. Not just no, Hell No. So what will these teenage girls options be? Pills over the internet from Uganda? At least Daddy won't know, and heck, she won't have to ask Mommy either. Best of all, if those pills aren't legitimate and since they are supposed to be used only under a doctor's care, well, complications that arise--no big deal, right?
Ok, so now, my reader is probably thinking of where they stand. Good, because now I really want to give you something to think about. Abortions have been around since the 1700s. Yes, really. They were illegalized, so to speak, in the late 1800s. (Sometimes it's debated if they were ever really legal. We'll not go there.) In the 1920s, the raging 1920s, none of us remember: flapper dresses that were shorter than micro-mini skirts, no real drinking age limit, no real limit on how old you had to be to marry or have sex, and teenagers were still teenagers with more access to vices (perceived or real, all for another blog). Estimates are that an average of 15,000 women died every year in the 1920s from illegal abortion complications. Men with coat hangers in back alleys tearing the insides of women, young and some even older, desperate not to be found out as a harlet. Consider the population then was 1/3rd of what it is now. Can we imagine only 30K illegal abortions a year? No, we all know that it will be way more than that. Let's not be naive. Can we imagine some 22 year old jerk off looking for a quick buck sticking a coat hanger up some 17 year old girl for $1000 for an illegal abortion? Yes, of course we can. Let's not stick our heads in the sand. Just because the silent generation is long gone, for the most part, doesn't mean that we shouldn't acknowledge what they knew and what they didn't like to discuss--just like we don't like to discuss it--pregnancy does happen. Unwanted pregnancy does happen. And desperate people will go to desperate measures.
Think about it. Why did Roe versus Wade pass in 1973? The silent generation had complete control of our government at the time. They were still voting, and the women of that generation knew unlike any other. My grandmother once told me that Roe versus Wade should never be overturned. She told me how women of wealth (women of wealth, yes, that was exactly how she said it) could get abortions, quietly, discreetly, in the safety of a hospital. While she never acknowledged that she might have been one of those women of wealth, she had been just like every other teen to 20-somethinger in the 1920s, hanging in clubs, wearing little flapper dresses, whether they were at the University or hobokans just hoping to find a husband. My grandmother said plenty of good women died because of the rights that men would take away from women. The right to privacy. The right to choose. Because men would or had taken away those rights.
Now we have holier than thou bible thumpers that want to take it away too, and more often than not, now they are women. This is a choice. Depending on our own personal religions, our own personal beliefs, and our own relationship with God or Gods or whatever we believe in. There are 76% of us that do believe that much. Are we willing to stand idly by as these people, who have their religious beliefs, their own personal ideals and idiology, drive what the rest of us assume is a private matter?
Consider that the state of Kansas is cutting back on funding to schools, funding for busing, funding for police, firemen, and other services. But they can afford to spend $785,040 to 5 December 2011 since May. Yes, they can afford to spend 3/4 of a million dollars in an economy in the sh*thole on lawyers rather than helping those in need. I'm mortified. Priorities a little f*cked up Governor Brownback? Ms. Mary Kay Culp? I don't give a sh*t about your idiotology. I don't agree with you, and I'm not happy that you're using my money to fund something that is intentionally trying to force a concept to as far as you can (since you can't overturn Roe v Wade) that 76% of don't agree with. You don't agree with abortions; good, don't have one!!! Give me back my taxes *ssholes, and I'll give it to someone interested in helping others like the Salvation Army, the Kansas Food Bank, or hell, even Planned Parenthood. I'm pretty sure that they can figure a better way to spend my money than you idiots.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
black thanksgiving????
Well, we all knew it would finally happen. Black Friday would become part of Thanksgiving. To hell with family and friends, buy, buy, buy!!! This year Target will open at midnight Thanksgiving night, with employees having to be in by 11 pm. Black Friday specials will start online as early as Thanksgiving day--9 pm was the earliest I could find so far. Consumer agencies and retail companies, especially the retail companies, are arguing that 1/3, yes people one-third, of us want to shop on Thanksgiving. Forget about how stuffed most of us are, forget about football, forget about hanging out with the family in front of the fire talking about what we're thankful for. It's all about the almighty dollar in an economy like this and nothing is more about money than the holidays that we show how much we care for our friends and family. We all like to feel good about good deals--especially since lately most of us feel ripped off every day, at the gas pump, for example. But here's the question: have we gone too far when Thanksgiving is now Black Thanksgiving?
Let's put aside the stupid shit like PETA requesting Turkey, Texas to change their name to something else for Turkey day....(GIVE IT A REST PETA. Turkeys are not endangered birds!!! Start worry about something more important, say like, ummm, people!!! Or the bald eagle...) What is Turkey Day, I mean, Thanksgiving really about? We pride ourselves, we as in Americans, on how much we care about family. Thanksgiving is supposed to be that day, a national holiday, about family and friends. We have holidays for veterans and our military--Memorial Day and Veterans' Day. Not everyone is a veteran or service member or even knows one. (Being a veteran these days are important to me, and I'm very proud that most people recognize these days to appreciate the sacrifices that we make and/or made.) We have a day off for Martin Luther King Jr. I believe he was a hero, but again for only a portion of the population. He wasn't tooting for rights for all, because well, some already had them. We celebrate Presidents' Day--which is really a day that was combined to celebrate George Washington's and Abraham Lincoln's birthdays. One as the father of our country as the first President of the United States and the other as the President who saved our great nation from falling off the face of the planet. We at some point decided we couldn't think enough of them to celebrate them separately...or maybe it was the Deep South still couldn't and wouldn't buy into celebrating Lincoln's birthday outright. (Another blog, as usual.) We celebrate New Year's Day when really it's just another day if you really think about it, but a day we dedicate to new beginnings and hope. We celebrate the 4th of July--nevermind that our nation's birthday is actually the 2nd of July. We have Mother's Day and Father's Day and Grandparents' Day and on and on and on...but there is only one day that we dedicate to everything about our way of life. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for all the people in our lives that mean something to us and sharing with them. Are we already forgetting that?
The CNN/Bloomberg news article I read quoted a 25 year old as saying she'd rather sit outside a store all day Thanksgiving Day rather than camp out overnight to a store opening early Friday morning. Ok. I was 25 once. I was a little more mature than this woman I'm guessing by that age, but I was 19 once upon a time. I remember hating to be cooped up with the family by the fireside and telling stories about the past year, of Thanksgivings passed, and the whole rigamore. I couldn't wait until they got to the point that the turkey, rum, beer, bourbon, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and football had wore them all out and 8 pm would roll around. My cousins and I would bolt for the door some time after 8 so fast it would make your head spin--for the neighborhood bar where everyone of drinking age up to late 20s would be shooting pool, watching more football, drinking various beverages and celebrating the rest of Thanksgiving with our friends. Hangovers aside, still, I can't imagine giving up any of those Thanksgivings to go shopping for "good deals". Some of those friends--Leslie, Janel, Kelly--are still friends today. I'd have to say celebrating my friends, happy and having fun, is way better than sitting outside a closed store for 6 or 8 hours to save a few bucks.
Yes, we all did still go shopping on Black Friday. Some stores even opened at 6 am!!! OH MY GOD!! And, we'd go for the deals, sometimes even hungover, but here's the thing: We didn't steal anyone else's Thanksgiving away from them!!!! I mean think about it. If the stores open at 6 am, the guys and gals working retail had to be there at 5 am to get the registers ready, turn on the lights, make sure all the little details to ensure our shopping enjoyment. It was bad enough that most of them couldn't come out and play with their friends late Thanksgiving night (well, most of them did, but that's not the point :D ). But now, 9 pm on Thanksgiving or midnight? Seriously? That means most of them have to be in bed, napping, for at least 4 hours, if not a "full night's" sleep, while the rest of us are having our family time--while their families are having their family time. WTF?!?!? What the hell is wrong with us? It's one day a year. One day out of 365. One day where everyone in the United States gets to celebrate. (Now don't lecture me on the bartenders at the neighborhood bar--they generally were the owners and it was their choice to come in, open up, and generally did so, well, because their friends are their patrons in neighborhood bars...too bad so many of us don't even know what that is anymore...but back on point.)
Still we've become such a me, me, me, me society, we don't care if we want to shop. TO SHOP, people. This is not life saving. Ok, it might be. The last couple of Black Fridays have had people injured in fights, stampedes and other caustic behaviors of mobs. We've become so materialistic that the "good deal" is becoming more important than the people we care for, or at least should care for. Worse yet, we've become so obsessed that we would rather opt to be with strangers (maybe one or two friends) outside a store for hours than be laughing with family and friends about things we did this year, last Thanksgiving, and all the Thanksgivings that have passed. We've reached a point where elbowing the person next to us in the face might be acceptable behavior to get that last iPod on special like some comic movie in the 1980s. (Amazing how shit that is over-the-line joking crap in movies eventually becomes acceptable to the mainstream...another blog...) This is our society? This is what Americans have become? This is what Thanksgiving is all about?
This year, I ask you. Think about this for a moment. How important are your family and friends to you? How often do you take the time out to give thanks for them and all the blessings in your life? How often do you give thanks for the freedoms that our great nation afford us? How often do you give thanks for the little things as well as the big? Then ask yourself: Should any of us, for any reason, take away that one day that we've put aside for almost a century now from anyone else in our great nation just so we can shop?
Then make a difference--don't actually shop in the middle of the God d*mn night. Sleep til 4. And if you're really motivated follow one or all of these links to send the damn retailers a message--yes, we'll buy your sh*t at great prices--just wait for Friday. It'll take you a couple of minutes, but they'll get the message:
http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-target-to-save-thanksgiving
http://www.change.org/petitions/1push-back-the-opening-of-best-buy-retail-stores-on-black-friday-to-5am
And HAVE A WONDERFUL TURKEY, I mean, THANKSGIVING DAY!!!
Let's put aside the stupid shit like PETA requesting Turkey, Texas to change their name to something else for Turkey day....(GIVE IT A REST PETA. Turkeys are not endangered birds!!! Start worry about something more important, say like, ummm, people!!! Or the bald eagle...) What is Turkey Day, I mean, Thanksgiving really about? We pride ourselves, we as in Americans, on how much we care about family. Thanksgiving is supposed to be that day, a national holiday, about family and friends. We have holidays for veterans and our military--Memorial Day and Veterans' Day. Not everyone is a veteran or service member or even knows one. (Being a veteran these days are important to me, and I'm very proud that most people recognize these days to appreciate the sacrifices that we make and/or made.) We have a day off for Martin Luther King Jr. I believe he was a hero, but again for only a portion of the population. He wasn't tooting for rights for all, because well, some already had them. We celebrate Presidents' Day--which is really a day that was combined to celebrate George Washington's and Abraham Lincoln's birthdays. One as the father of our country as the first President of the United States and the other as the President who saved our great nation from falling off the face of the planet. We at some point decided we couldn't think enough of them to celebrate them separately...or maybe it was the Deep South still couldn't and wouldn't buy into celebrating Lincoln's birthday outright. (Another blog, as usual.) We celebrate New Year's Day when really it's just another day if you really think about it, but a day we dedicate to new beginnings and hope. We celebrate the 4th of July--nevermind that our nation's birthday is actually the 2nd of July. We have Mother's Day and Father's Day and Grandparents' Day and on and on and on...but there is only one day that we dedicate to everything about our way of life. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for all the people in our lives that mean something to us and sharing with them. Are we already forgetting that?
The CNN/Bloomberg news article I read quoted a 25 year old as saying she'd rather sit outside a store all day Thanksgiving Day rather than camp out overnight to a store opening early Friday morning. Ok. I was 25 once. I was a little more mature than this woman I'm guessing by that age, but I was 19 once upon a time. I remember hating to be cooped up with the family by the fireside and telling stories about the past year, of Thanksgivings passed, and the whole rigamore. I couldn't wait until they got to the point that the turkey, rum, beer, bourbon, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and football had wore them all out and 8 pm would roll around. My cousins and I would bolt for the door some time after 8 so fast it would make your head spin--for the neighborhood bar where everyone of drinking age up to late 20s would be shooting pool, watching more football, drinking various beverages and celebrating the rest of Thanksgiving with our friends. Hangovers aside, still, I can't imagine giving up any of those Thanksgivings to go shopping for "good deals". Some of those friends--Leslie, Janel, Kelly--are still friends today. I'd have to say celebrating my friends, happy and having fun, is way better than sitting outside a closed store for 6 or 8 hours to save a few bucks.
Yes, we all did still go shopping on Black Friday. Some stores even opened at 6 am!!! OH MY GOD!! And, we'd go for the deals, sometimes even hungover, but here's the thing: We didn't steal anyone else's Thanksgiving away from them!!!! I mean think about it. If the stores open at 6 am, the guys and gals working retail had to be there at 5 am to get the registers ready, turn on the lights, make sure all the little details to ensure our shopping enjoyment. It was bad enough that most of them couldn't come out and play with their friends late Thanksgiving night (well, most of them did, but that's not the point :D ). But now, 9 pm on Thanksgiving or midnight? Seriously? That means most of them have to be in bed, napping, for at least 4 hours, if not a "full night's" sleep, while the rest of us are having our family time--while their families are having their family time. WTF?!?!? What the hell is wrong with us? It's one day a year. One day out of 365. One day where everyone in the United States gets to celebrate. (Now don't lecture me on the bartenders at the neighborhood bar--they generally were the owners and it was their choice to come in, open up, and generally did so, well, because their friends are their patrons in neighborhood bars...too bad so many of us don't even know what that is anymore...but back on point.)
Still we've become such a me, me, me, me society, we don't care if we want to shop. TO SHOP, people. This is not life saving. Ok, it might be. The last couple of Black Fridays have had people injured in fights, stampedes and other caustic behaviors of mobs. We've become so materialistic that the "good deal" is becoming more important than the people we care for, or at least should care for. Worse yet, we've become so obsessed that we would rather opt to be with strangers (maybe one or two friends) outside a store for hours than be laughing with family and friends about things we did this year, last Thanksgiving, and all the Thanksgivings that have passed. We've reached a point where elbowing the person next to us in the face might be acceptable behavior to get that last iPod on special like some comic movie in the 1980s. (Amazing how shit that is over-the-line joking crap in movies eventually becomes acceptable to the mainstream...another blog...) This is our society? This is what Americans have become? This is what Thanksgiving is all about?
This year, I ask you. Think about this for a moment. How important are your family and friends to you? How often do you take the time out to give thanks for them and all the blessings in your life? How often do you give thanks for the freedoms that our great nation afford us? How often do you give thanks for the little things as well as the big? Then ask yourself: Should any of us, for any reason, take away that one day that we've put aside for almost a century now from anyone else in our great nation just so we can shop?
Then make a difference--don't actually shop in the middle of the God d*mn night. Sleep til 4. And if you're really motivated follow one or all of these links to send the damn retailers a message--yes, we'll buy your sh*t at great prices--just wait for Friday. It'll take you a couple of minutes, but they'll get the message:
http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-target-to-save-thanksgiving
http://www.change.org/petitions/1push-back-the-opening-of-best-buy-retail-stores-on-black-friday-to-5am
And HAVE A WONDERFUL TURKEY, I mean, THANKSGIVING DAY!!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
me, me, me, me, me...welcome to United States politics
what is it about a lot of people today that makes them really think that the world revolves all around them and they are the all encompassing bestest of the bestest? has the world become more that way or has it always been that way? now, don't get me wrong. there are plenty of wonderful people out there, but well, like my grams used to say, one rotten apple can spoil the whole barrel. think about how much harder it is becoming to find someone that isn't asking you for something for their own benefit. think about how the religious people of the world always seem to have it right and everyone that doesn't follow their belief has to be wrong. think about how many people we come across every day or week that are working in the service industry that act like they are doing us a personal favor by getting us the latte that they are paid to pour. consider politicians and other political mongers that seem to be oblivious to what the people that voted for them want or need. the real reason for all this seems pretty obvious. they don't care about anyone else but themselves, and by God, the rest of us will suffer for it.
we all know the problems herman cain is experiencing in his campaign. (yes people this is going to be an all out crucificion of politicians.) did he sexually harass someone? maybe. the lines have changed over the years. did he win any brownie points with any of us when his wife did her tammy wynette "stand by my man" routine? nope. since she opened her mouth, he's lost over 10% in most polls. why? when that dumb b*tch hillary did it on 60 minutes the first time billy boy clinton ran for President, most of the american public was so impressed; his ratings went up. (remember the gennifer flowers affair?) hell, we were so enthalled with that moron's antics we elected him twice. it was a non-stop circus while he was in office: the chinese hookers meeting air force one, the dress, the intern...of course, it wasn't just sexual antics--oh no--whitewater (ah yes how quickly some forget), the military guard and secret service members that died while working for clinton--more than any other President in history (and no one actually tried to assassinate his *ss), the shooting at the starbucks near george washington university where an intern who was allegedly sexually harassed by the billy boy was killed, oh and my personal favorite, the impeachment. "oral sex" isn't sex?!?!? that explains a lot if hillary is a lesbian doesn't it? they're really not unfaithful to each other then. carpet munching and cigar puffing doesn't count. and, we, and all the rest of the world, got to see all that unfold in the tabloids--no other President has graced the cover of trash mags like the enquirer more than billy boy. so we're gun shy. we don't want another fiasco in the White House. thank you, but no thanks and the polls say it. maybe herman can recover. but i was still behind him, until the "stand by my man" speech. that lady nailed his political coffin shut, at least for me. if he can't be honest with you honey, he sure as hell won't give a rat's ass about being honest to the American public.
but herman and billy boy aren't even the tip top of the iceberg. oh no, let's consider sarah "dingbat" palin. first of all, yes, before anyone harps on me for calling her a "dingbat", watch her show about alaska--the weekly (oh God, what the hell were they thinking giving her any type of show?!?!) ding-a-ling antics of a woman who's hypocrisy seems to have no limit. she's a far right wing, tea party, get us back to the real roots of things? she's religious, christian, believes in consquences for actions...daughter prego in high school, advocating (although ever so indirectly according to her) the possible murder of various congressional leaders--not that it might resolve some things but let's face it putting a map with crosshairs and suggesting that people need to be shot...well, let's just say it's at least in poor taste, and my personal favorite--her lesbian best friend that she parades around like a carnival monkey. really?!?! she supposedly advocates gay marriage, and yet, couldn't seem to sign a bill into law in alaska after their state congressional body had passed it. it needed to go to the voters. she's either a coward or phony or both. next.
did anyone watch 60 minutes this week? (yea, why, i'll give you the commentary.) United States congressional members (wait for it, wait for it) can practice insider trading and it's all perfectly LEGAL for them!!!!! why yes virginia, there is a santa claus--if you get elected to congress. repugnicans and demoncrats alike. we put martha stewart in prison for insider trading. you, me, enron officers...we all go to jail if we do it. not nancy pelosi or newt gingrich or john boener or eric cantor or joe biden (yes, technically the Vice President is part of the United States Senate)....nope, they get a free pass to use any and all insider information that they receive to trade with no ramifications. hmmmm, now let this tickle your brain cells for a minute: that means that those big pocketed f*ckers who provide them all the gifts and the funding for their campaigns can just give them insider information and those *ssholes can do whatever they want with it. nice. what a koosh job.
but they still have other perks (because it is, afterall, all about them): free checking where they can bounce themselves into oblivian and be 5 to 6 figures in the hole and we pay for all of it (doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye how great it is for them?), free healthcare--best in the nation (they don't pay for it, because we, the working American public, pay for them. yep.), paid vacations to all kinds of exotic places on lobbyists or their wealthy contributors or, my personal favorite, on our dime!!! yep. (doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?) AND THEY B*TCH ABOUT CUTTING 5% FROM THEIR OFFICE BUDGETS? i wonder how much could we save ourselves, the taxpayers, if we cut out just the pork bellies we provide for congressional idiots? (just sayin'--because we all know they won't ever cut those pork bellies out themselves...)
of course, it wouldn't be right for me to ignore obummer. yea, the rest of the world likes him--because he's a p*ssy. apologizes for our conduct? we'll never see the french president apologize for france. the Queen herself would fall over from shock. ironically, that moron didn't realize we've always been asked. we were asked into kuwait by their leadership because iraq invaded. we've been asked (and they paid for the base) to qutar. they don't want anyone coming in there--they're the richest country in the world (if you don't count the vatican), so who can blame them? we were asked to stay in japan after north korea started nuclear testing (odd how that worked out well for us...but another blog). just torques my wrench. imagine President Ronald Reagan apologizing to the USSR...as if. he's never held a real job...ok, perhaps that really is the qualification for a politician. he wants to make all of us maintain health insurance or be penalized for it--read the fine print--penalized for not buying it. since when can the President and congress tell us what we have to buy? (come on Supreme Court! i still have faith in you....but another blog.) he says stup*d sh*t like "quit flying private jets" because he thinks the upper class is a bad place to be (for everyone but him of course), without first considering that the great United States still leads that industry in design, manufacturing, servicing...talk about chokeholding yourself into passing out!!! the problem with obummer is simple: he's so hellbent on his own agenda because he's so much smarter than the rest of us that he doesn't actually give a sh*t why the people that voted for him put him there. there's nothing more me, me, me, me, me than thinking that you know better than everyone else.
i'd love to tell obummer, there's a difference between arrogance and confidence. i hear nothing but self-serving arrogance when i've listened to his speeches. "you must pass this plan. you will pass this plan. you must...you will...i've put together this plan and it's the right plan, it's the bestest plan...." blah, blah, blah. it's nauseating arrogance of how much more superior he really believes himself to be. he's a decent orator though. actually very good. but pick it apart and it's like looking at a picture of pot roast. we can see the meat and potatoes, but they have no aroma, no texture, no steam rolling off the top. it's a pretty picture, but no substance. how do we cut millions of dollars from our budget? obummer's answer: "i'll leave that to congress to decide". yes, darling while that all sounds wonderful on the paper you wrote it on, i'd like to be able to feed my kids at the end of the day. show me the beef.
confidence. well, i'm pretty sure that not many, if any, of those bozos in washington have confidence. they all look to be arrogant though. they can lie through their teeth--no consequences. they all seem thrilled to have the titles--congressman, congresswoman, senator. they all know what it means to get for themselves and everso graciously accept all the pork bellies that they bestow upon themselves. don't get me started on some stupid junior congressman saying it was ok and we shouldn't blame them because the pork bellies were voted in decades ago and almost no one there is "responsible" for those votes. you morons are all responsible--you accepted a job, you are arrogant enough to believe that you should keep it without actually representing the people that voted you in there, and you don't mind that you have special things not afforded legally to any of your constituents. a confident person wouldn't need the pork bellies, wouldn't care about the favors and would be "responsible" to fix issues even if it wasn't of their making. confidence would stand up to arrogance and say enough is enough. instead we have a bunch of little high school kids seeing how much they can get for themselves and the hell with the rest of us. it's like a washington dc version of "mean girls".
the only real question is: when is the American public truly going to have enough and grassroots a change to our great Constitution to state that Congress and the President must abide by the same laws as the rest of us???? (And yes, our great Constitution actually does allow for us to do this...look it up)
we all know the problems herman cain is experiencing in his campaign. (yes people this is going to be an all out crucificion of politicians.) did he sexually harass someone? maybe. the lines have changed over the years. did he win any brownie points with any of us when his wife did her tammy wynette "stand by my man" routine? nope. since she opened her mouth, he's lost over 10% in most polls. why? when that dumb b*tch hillary did it on 60 minutes the first time billy boy clinton ran for President, most of the american public was so impressed; his ratings went up. (remember the gennifer flowers affair?) hell, we were so enthalled with that moron's antics we elected him twice. it was a non-stop circus while he was in office: the chinese hookers meeting air force one, the dress, the intern...of course, it wasn't just sexual antics--oh no--whitewater (ah yes how quickly some forget), the military guard and secret service members that died while working for clinton--more than any other President in history (and no one actually tried to assassinate his *ss), the shooting at the starbucks near george washington university where an intern who was allegedly sexually harassed by the billy boy was killed, oh and my personal favorite, the impeachment. "oral sex" isn't sex?!?!? that explains a lot if hillary is a lesbian doesn't it? they're really not unfaithful to each other then. carpet munching and cigar puffing doesn't count. and, we, and all the rest of the world, got to see all that unfold in the tabloids--no other President has graced the cover of trash mags like the enquirer more than billy boy. so we're gun shy. we don't want another fiasco in the White House. thank you, but no thanks and the polls say it. maybe herman can recover. but i was still behind him, until the "stand by my man" speech. that lady nailed his political coffin shut, at least for me. if he can't be honest with you honey, he sure as hell won't give a rat's ass about being honest to the American public.
but herman and billy boy aren't even the tip top of the iceberg. oh no, let's consider sarah "dingbat" palin. first of all, yes, before anyone harps on me for calling her a "dingbat", watch her show about alaska--the weekly (oh God, what the hell were they thinking giving her any type of show?!?!) ding-a-ling antics of a woman who's hypocrisy seems to have no limit. she's a far right wing, tea party, get us back to the real roots of things? she's religious, christian, believes in consquences for actions...daughter prego in high school, advocating (although ever so indirectly according to her) the possible murder of various congressional leaders--not that it might resolve some things but let's face it putting a map with crosshairs and suggesting that people need to be shot...well, let's just say it's at least in poor taste, and my personal favorite--her lesbian best friend that she parades around like a carnival monkey. really?!?! she supposedly advocates gay marriage, and yet, couldn't seem to sign a bill into law in alaska after their state congressional body had passed it. it needed to go to the voters. she's either a coward or phony or both. next.
did anyone watch 60 minutes this week? (yea, why, i'll give you the commentary.) United States congressional members (wait for it, wait for it) can practice insider trading and it's all perfectly LEGAL for them!!!!! why yes virginia, there is a santa claus--if you get elected to congress. repugnicans and demoncrats alike. we put martha stewart in prison for insider trading. you, me, enron officers...we all go to jail if we do it. not nancy pelosi or newt gingrich or john boener or eric cantor or joe biden (yes, technically the Vice President is part of the United States Senate)....nope, they get a free pass to use any and all insider information that they receive to trade with no ramifications. hmmmm, now let this tickle your brain cells for a minute: that means that those big pocketed f*ckers who provide them all the gifts and the funding for their campaigns can just give them insider information and those *ssholes can do whatever they want with it. nice. what a koosh job.
but they still have other perks (because it is, afterall, all about them): free checking where they can bounce themselves into oblivian and be 5 to 6 figures in the hole and we pay for all of it (doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye how great it is for them?), free healthcare--best in the nation (they don't pay for it, because we, the working American public, pay for them. yep.), paid vacations to all kinds of exotic places on lobbyists or their wealthy contributors or, my personal favorite, on our dime!!! yep. (doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?) AND THEY B*TCH ABOUT CUTTING 5% FROM THEIR OFFICE BUDGETS? i wonder how much could we save ourselves, the taxpayers, if we cut out just the pork bellies we provide for congressional idiots? (just sayin'--because we all know they won't ever cut those pork bellies out themselves...)
of course, it wouldn't be right for me to ignore obummer. yea, the rest of the world likes him--because he's a p*ssy. apologizes for our conduct? we'll never see the french president apologize for france. the Queen herself would fall over from shock. ironically, that moron didn't realize we've always been asked. we were asked into kuwait by their leadership because iraq invaded. we've been asked (and they paid for the base) to qutar. they don't want anyone coming in there--they're the richest country in the world (if you don't count the vatican), so who can blame them? we were asked to stay in japan after north korea started nuclear testing (odd how that worked out well for us...but another blog). just torques my wrench. imagine President Ronald Reagan apologizing to the USSR...as if. he's never held a real job...ok, perhaps that really is the qualification for a politician. he wants to make all of us maintain health insurance or be penalized for it--read the fine print--penalized for not buying it. since when can the President and congress tell us what we have to buy? (come on Supreme Court! i still have faith in you....but another blog.) he says stup*d sh*t like "quit flying private jets" because he thinks the upper class is a bad place to be (for everyone but him of course), without first considering that the great United States still leads that industry in design, manufacturing, servicing...talk about chokeholding yourself into passing out!!! the problem with obummer is simple: he's so hellbent on his own agenda because he's so much smarter than the rest of us that he doesn't actually give a sh*t why the people that voted for him put him there. there's nothing more me, me, me, me, me than thinking that you know better than everyone else.
i'd love to tell obummer, there's a difference between arrogance and confidence. i hear nothing but self-serving arrogance when i've listened to his speeches. "you must pass this plan. you will pass this plan. you must...you will...i've put together this plan and it's the right plan, it's the bestest plan...." blah, blah, blah. it's nauseating arrogance of how much more superior he really believes himself to be. he's a decent orator though. actually very good. but pick it apart and it's like looking at a picture of pot roast. we can see the meat and potatoes, but they have no aroma, no texture, no steam rolling off the top. it's a pretty picture, but no substance. how do we cut millions of dollars from our budget? obummer's answer: "i'll leave that to congress to decide". yes, darling while that all sounds wonderful on the paper you wrote it on, i'd like to be able to feed my kids at the end of the day. show me the beef.
confidence. well, i'm pretty sure that not many, if any, of those bozos in washington have confidence. they all look to be arrogant though. they can lie through their teeth--no consequences. they all seem thrilled to have the titles--congressman, congresswoman, senator. they all know what it means to get for themselves and everso graciously accept all the pork bellies that they bestow upon themselves. don't get me started on some stupid junior congressman saying it was ok and we shouldn't blame them because the pork bellies were voted in decades ago and almost no one there is "responsible" for those votes. you morons are all responsible--you accepted a job, you are arrogant enough to believe that you should keep it without actually representing the people that voted you in there, and you don't mind that you have special things not afforded legally to any of your constituents. a confident person wouldn't need the pork bellies, wouldn't care about the favors and would be "responsible" to fix issues even if it wasn't of their making. confidence would stand up to arrogance and say enough is enough. instead we have a bunch of little high school kids seeing how much they can get for themselves and the hell with the rest of us. it's like a washington dc version of "mean girls".
the only real question is: when is the American public truly going to have enough and grassroots a change to our great Constitution to state that Congress and the President must abide by the same laws as the rest of us???? (And yes, our great Constitution actually does allow for us to do this...look it up)
Friday, November 4, 2011
truer words were never spoken...
quite frankly, with my daddy's passing in july, the last half of this year has been nothing but self-reflecting and replaying things in my past that have lead to my present. who i am, possibly what i am, is nothing more than a knee jerk reaction to everything that i've ever been exposed to and a little dab of the inherited traits that we all have from our dna. my best friend mary and i often have some very deep delve conversations about people, how people think, what makes them work. mary and i have many similar beliefs although our personalities are in someways very contrast to each other. the one thing that seems to always come out of those conversations is how crazy some people actually are. the examples always seem to be over abundant, and there are so many common sense sayings that go with the examples, the most logical conclusion is that most people really don't have much common sense. i'm seriously not sure that i do (honestly, i am an engineer afterall--how much could i have really?), but i probably was very fortunate to have a grandmother that knew every common sense statement, or cliche depending on your point of view, ever made.
"don't blame me for your problems." for some reason, no one ever understands that the minutia that they are in is always, always, from their own decisions. now, i'm not talking about the car accident where your car was totalled because someone ran a red light. i'm talking about the drama that most people always seem to blame on others. the innocent acts are so ridiculous for some people, you wish the oscars would have a you tube drama queen (or king) award. we bring it on ourselves. i do honestly blame my ex for being a cheating dog, but i married his *ss. now, granted i was young, we were young, and well, it seemed like a great idea at the time. i can obviously brag that i picked a guy that i had a lot in common with and who i thought would always take care of me, who i thought would make a great father and who was a good friend. then i could, like most people, blame him solely for the crap in our relationship. yes, he was the one that cheated. he probably did before we got married--should've seen that and ran like hell. also, probably missed that we were like carbon copies of his mom and dad--a relationship that although it has stood the perverbial test of time has taken quite a toll on his mom (my opinion of course) because as charming as his dad is, well, he's a bit of a selfish pig--ok, a lot of a selfish pig. again, my faux pas. i saw all this, and i completely convinced myself (self-denial is a wonderful thing) that my ex wasn't like that. (bahaha...sorry, i just have to laugh at myself at this point.) now, i probably could blame him for my being single all these years. God knows i have trust issues and a huge commitment phobia and it would be quite simple to blame him for all my woes. but it simply isn't true. i was a commitment phob way before i met my ex--the experience didn't improve that, by any means--but maybe that was the point of why or how i chose to be with him. not his fault, probably mine or maybe just the life i had lead to that point. the result of a problem, the ramifications--like someone's actions--are the symptoms, not the causes. the causes are inevitably on us. each of us. "we have no one to blame but ourselves."
"you don't choose who you fall in love with." nope. i used to believe this was utterly and completely controllable. my grandmother used to say "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one." yea, whatever. if that were true, my grandmother would never have married my grandfather. yet, i would verbalize my discontent with her statement, while somehow stupidly internalizing it. you simply don't choose. granted i only have 40+ years of experience at this point, but it just doesn't happen. i've known people who force feel "love". it's not hard to "love" someone, but it's impossible to be "in love" with someone who you have to force feel "love" for. i "love" my shoes. i'm not falling for them anytime soon. falling in love is like tieing a blindfold over your eyes after you've already seen the cliff coming and are still heading at it full throttle like an idiot. (yes, i did already mention that i'm a complete commitment phob.) but, i've been in love 3 times. (ugh, we'll avoid that whole 3rd time's a charm crap.) first time, it was love at first sight. it was. it wasn't 45 minutes and i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with who we'll simply call my college sweetheart. he was blonde haired, blue eyed, 6'5" (i looked quite literally like a little china doll next to him), and one of the most amazing men i've ever known. when i met him, i certainly didn't expect my evening to go the way it did. i was quite content in my own little world. i had goals, aspirations, and those were a very large part of who i was (and am), but i saw that cliff the second he was introduced to me and lucky for me, so did he. the only regret i have in my life is the way that relationship ended. the second time, well, i married his *ss. amazingly, you can fall in love with someone and it is actually possible to fall out of love with them too...as my marriage can attest to. the third time, well, that one was either me being foolish, him being foolish, or both of us being foolish. still haven't figured it out. probably never will. regardless, love is easy. i still in a way, love all three of them. not in love with any of them though. falling out of love is so much easier than falling in. someone opens the window and lets the stagnant air out, and as you inhale, you realize that you somehow breathed in new life while exhaling the old love. "love is gift." ("in love" is, anyway.)
"sh*t or get off the pot." no kidding. (yea, don't you love it?!?! from love to sh*t in no seconds flat....) i really do live and breathe (more puns) this saying. why stay with a man that's making me miserable? why? don't talk about it, do it. now, don't get me wrong. i'm a firm believer in taking my time making decisions. my backyard patio hasn't been done yet because i have a hard time figuring out exactly what i want to do. i know i want to lower my bike, but the back only, both the back and the front, 1" or 2"...i'm there to front and back (finally), but not quite 1" or 2"...i'll have to live with the decision for a while. i don't like to jump into anything i'm going to have to live with. impulse purchases have never been a big thing for me. i spend 6 months teasing the sales guys at any and all dealerships before actually purchasing a vehicle. impulse purchases always bit me in the perverbial butt when i was younger. it's a lesson that i take to heart. on the other hand, once i've made up my mind, i'm ready to go. there's no more waiting. all the ducks are in a row, they're all quacking, the water is warm, the sun is shining and it's time to go!!! i'm always amazed at people who will do the exact opposite--jump into stuff headlong without considering anything, but then diddle dawdle as they try to feel their way around their impulsive move. i may be slow coming up to the gate, but once i'm locked in, i'm taking the finish line. which is actually a pretty fair comparison since the horses that typically fly into the gate are the most leisurely to actually accomplishing anything in the race--much like many people. i have friends who have floundered for years after an impulsive marriage on whether it was a mistake. i have no misgivings. my marriage wasn't a mistake--have you seen our boys? handsome devils. and i learned a lot--about life, about myself, about relationships. nothing bad about it as far as knowledge and experience. don't get me wrong--i wouldn't go back there if he hit the lottery, was gelded, and promised to take me to every gorgeous beach on the globe on the back of a harley (or maybe a pair of harleys...no matter), but i wouldn't give up the experience for anything either. life is full of expectations. but we make our own successes. success doesn't just walk up and bite you in the butt and say "here i am". opportunity does that, but from those opportunities, we make or break our own success. we can be our own worst enemies by the limits that we put on ourselves, and those limits are usually glaring us in our faces, because we usually choose to attempt to limit others to our own self-sanctions. we have to get out there and try, or we inevitably fail. "there is no failure worse than the one that never even started."
i don't know. maybe i'm just thinking off the top of my head. maybe i'm just a tad aggrevated at myself, because life is constantly changing and right now i haven't got a clue where i want to be. i feel like alecia silverstone in cute clothes in a giddy teen movie (clueless...yea, rent the movie). maybe it's those damn conversations with mary... maybe i'm still getting passed my father's death, as there was so much that i still wanted to say, share and just enjoy about him. or maybe it's like every holiday season of my life and the hoopla is little more than my usual angst over misgivings over turkey and enough rum and eggnog to drown the christmas tree. or maybe it's a year ending in 3. 23, 33, 43...shit. always with the 3s...."third time's a charm," afterall....
"don't blame me for your problems." for some reason, no one ever understands that the minutia that they are in is always, always, from their own decisions. now, i'm not talking about the car accident where your car was totalled because someone ran a red light. i'm talking about the drama that most people always seem to blame on others. the innocent acts are so ridiculous for some people, you wish the oscars would have a you tube drama queen (or king) award. we bring it on ourselves. i do honestly blame my ex for being a cheating dog, but i married his *ss. now, granted i was young, we were young, and well, it seemed like a great idea at the time. i can obviously brag that i picked a guy that i had a lot in common with and who i thought would always take care of me, who i thought would make a great father and who was a good friend. then i could, like most people, blame him solely for the crap in our relationship. yes, he was the one that cheated. he probably did before we got married--should've seen that and ran like hell. also, probably missed that we were like carbon copies of his mom and dad--a relationship that although it has stood the perverbial test of time has taken quite a toll on his mom (my opinion of course) because as charming as his dad is, well, he's a bit of a selfish pig--ok, a lot of a selfish pig. again, my faux pas. i saw all this, and i completely convinced myself (self-denial is a wonderful thing) that my ex wasn't like that. (bahaha...sorry, i just have to laugh at myself at this point.) now, i probably could blame him for my being single all these years. God knows i have trust issues and a huge commitment phobia and it would be quite simple to blame him for all my woes. but it simply isn't true. i was a commitment phob way before i met my ex--the experience didn't improve that, by any means--but maybe that was the point of why or how i chose to be with him. not his fault, probably mine or maybe just the life i had lead to that point. the result of a problem, the ramifications--like someone's actions--are the symptoms, not the causes. the causes are inevitably on us. each of us. "we have no one to blame but ourselves."
"you don't choose who you fall in love with." nope. i used to believe this was utterly and completely controllable. my grandmother used to say "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one." yea, whatever. if that were true, my grandmother would never have married my grandfather. yet, i would verbalize my discontent with her statement, while somehow stupidly internalizing it. you simply don't choose. granted i only have 40+ years of experience at this point, but it just doesn't happen. i've known people who force feel "love". it's not hard to "love" someone, but it's impossible to be "in love" with someone who you have to force feel "love" for. i "love" my shoes. i'm not falling for them anytime soon. falling in love is like tieing a blindfold over your eyes after you've already seen the cliff coming and are still heading at it full throttle like an idiot. (yes, i did already mention that i'm a complete commitment phob.) but, i've been in love 3 times. (ugh, we'll avoid that whole 3rd time's a charm crap.) first time, it was love at first sight. it was. it wasn't 45 minutes and i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with who we'll simply call my college sweetheart. he was blonde haired, blue eyed, 6'5" (i looked quite literally like a little china doll next to him), and one of the most amazing men i've ever known. when i met him, i certainly didn't expect my evening to go the way it did. i was quite content in my own little world. i had goals, aspirations, and those were a very large part of who i was (and am), but i saw that cliff the second he was introduced to me and lucky for me, so did he. the only regret i have in my life is the way that relationship ended. the second time, well, i married his *ss. amazingly, you can fall in love with someone and it is actually possible to fall out of love with them too...as my marriage can attest to. the third time, well, that one was either me being foolish, him being foolish, or both of us being foolish. still haven't figured it out. probably never will. regardless, love is easy. i still in a way, love all three of them. not in love with any of them though. falling out of love is so much easier than falling in. someone opens the window and lets the stagnant air out, and as you inhale, you realize that you somehow breathed in new life while exhaling the old love. "love is gift." ("in love" is, anyway.)
"sh*t or get off the pot." no kidding. (yea, don't you love it?!?! from love to sh*t in no seconds flat....) i really do live and breathe (more puns) this saying. why stay with a man that's making me miserable? why? don't talk about it, do it. now, don't get me wrong. i'm a firm believer in taking my time making decisions. my backyard patio hasn't been done yet because i have a hard time figuring out exactly what i want to do. i know i want to lower my bike, but the back only, both the back and the front, 1" or 2"...i'm there to front and back (finally), but not quite 1" or 2"...i'll have to live with the decision for a while. i don't like to jump into anything i'm going to have to live with. impulse purchases have never been a big thing for me. i spend 6 months teasing the sales guys at any and all dealerships before actually purchasing a vehicle. impulse purchases always bit me in the perverbial butt when i was younger. it's a lesson that i take to heart. on the other hand, once i've made up my mind, i'm ready to go. there's no more waiting. all the ducks are in a row, they're all quacking, the water is warm, the sun is shining and it's time to go!!! i'm always amazed at people who will do the exact opposite--jump into stuff headlong without considering anything, but then diddle dawdle as they try to feel their way around their impulsive move. i may be slow coming up to the gate, but once i'm locked in, i'm taking the finish line. which is actually a pretty fair comparison since the horses that typically fly into the gate are the most leisurely to actually accomplishing anything in the race--much like many people. i have friends who have floundered for years after an impulsive marriage on whether it was a mistake. i have no misgivings. my marriage wasn't a mistake--have you seen our boys? handsome devils. and i learned a lot--about life, about myself, about relationships. nothing bad about it as far as knowledge and experience. don't get me wrong--i wouldn't go back there if he hit the lottery, was gelded, and promised to take me to every gorgeous beach on the globe on the back of a harley (or maybe a pair of harleys...no matter), but i wouldn't give up the experience for anything either. life is full of expectations. but we make our own successes. success doesn't just walk up and bite you in the butt and say "here i am". opportunity does that, but from those opportunities, we make or break our own success. we can be our own worst enemies by the limits that we put on ourselves, and those limits are usually glaring us in our faces, because we usually choose to attempt to limit others to our own self-sanctions. we have to get out there and try, or we inevitably fail. "there is no failure worse than the one that never even started."
i don't know. maybe i'm just thinking off the top of my head. maybe i'm just a tad aggrevated at myself, because life is constantly changing and right now i haven't got a clue where i want to be. i feel like alecia silverstone in cute clothes in a giddy teen movie (clueless...yea, rent the movie). maybe it's those damn conversations with mary... maybe i'm still getting passed my father's death, as there was so much that i still wanted to say, share and just enjoy about him. or maybe it's like every holiday season of my life and the hoopla is little more than my usual angst over misgivings over turkey and enough rum and eggnog to drown the christmas tree. or maybe it's a year ending in 3. 23, 33, 43...shit. always with the 3s...."third time's a charm," afterall....
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
would a teddy bear take offense?
stress. stress for me is usually pretty easy to walk away from. someone stresses me at work--well, i might stop and have a drink, but i'm not taking it home with me. an hour away from work and i'm usually pretty rock solid and happy as a clam again. someone stresses me in my personal life, and my solution is even simpler. walk away, tell them off if they force the issue and walk away, or simply analyze the entire situation and realize how pointless the stress is. life is just too short.
but i'm a chick and chicks vent. oh yes, we do. the only women that i've ever met that didn't have the urge, or even the need to vent, are for all intensive purposes men or extremely manipulative nutjobs that aren't worth a blog. i've probably not been venting enough lately. my best friend is really busy this time of the year. y'all know i haven't been blogging much. and i'm not one to really overshare if i'm not in a good mood. i always believe good moods are contagious, and i like the idea of spreading good cheer. no matter what happens when, i'm not venting to my kids...childhood (even the teen years) shouldn't be about my problem du jour.
of course, venting isn't just about alleviating stress. sometimes, it's just thinking aloud. you can't vent to yourself in a mirror though--unless you're telling yourself what an idiotic mistake that was. it just comes off so phony. you just can't nod in understanding at yourself unless you're sybil. (look it up people if you're too young to know.) besides venting isn't just about getting it out of your system. sometimes venting is just about having someone that will listen.
now i have all kinds of hurdles to overcome when venting. i don't like to vent to just anyone. i only vent to people i trust, and frankly, i have layers of trust. i trust my boys, but it wouldn't happen while they're young and it wouldn't happen ever depending on the issue. there are just somethings your children should never know about you and vice versa. if i ever had a doubt, an ex-boyfriend and his mother completely convinced me. that crazy woman didn't need to be telling his little brother (a thirty-somethinger at the time) about how he couldn't because of size *shutter* sexually please a woman in front of his older brother's girlfriend at the time (moi) or any of the other crazy stuff those people thought was appropriate discussion. my boys just don't need to know, nor do i need to know. i haven't seen any of them naked since they were like 7 or 8 (and by accident i'm pretty sure) and would very much prefer it to stay that way. hell, i get uncomfortable when my middle one refers to his belly hair as his "happy trail"...*ugh*...
another hurdle is that many of my closest friends are almost always guys. yea, can't always tell them everything either. don't get me wrong, i have very open honest discussions with my guy friends, but there are levels of sharing, lines that just don't get crossed. one guy i might tell about how my date went, while another one who is just as good of a friend, i wouldn't dream of mentioning who i even went out with for fear of listening to a lecture on my dating habits. not that my dating habits are really that much to talk about--let's see...i'm trying to remember the last time i went on a date...oh begeebis... anywho, there's always an opinion that comes out of my guy friends (men really are opinionated, ask any woman) about what i'm saying and sometimes, well, i don't really want their opinion. thus why it's called venting instead of trolling for advice. i ask questions when i'm trolling for advice. men volunteer, by nature, resolution, solution and opinions. (yes, women can volunteer opinions too, but their opinions are usually based on personal experience rather than resolute solution guidance opinions.) obviously, at this point, i can rule out talking to anyone of my guy friends...
of course, i have female friends too, but unfortunately, some of them have been going through some really bad times and they certainly don't need to listen to me whine. on the other hand, the other ones are going through some really great times and i'm not a selfish enough b*tch to whine to someone who's life is going really well. *sigh*
i'd like to say that i could resolve it on my own. well, time heals all now, doesn't it? but truth is it's not just one thing. there's a slew of things all come to their hind legs at the same time. it doesn't happen often. maybe 3 to 6 times a year. i still sleep sound as a baby most of the time. nothing is worth getting myself worked up into a tizz over unless it's fun. i'm just so high energy that i've learned over the years it's just easier to try to forget about it than to worry about it. expounding that much energy on something negative is wasted energy, in my opinion (hahaha, right? oh kay, back on point). if i'm going to expend that much energy, well, i'd prefer to have it well spent on fun--of course, at this point, my neck is in pain, my back is starting to hurt and i feel tired. the bottle is a tad overfull. the stress isn't really affecting the mind, but the body is not happy. i'm going to have to find a vent point somewhere...
would it be weird to vent at a teddy bear? teddy bears are usually pretty good listeners, don't profer up advice where not asked for, and don't take any offense by colorful language. hmmmm....
but i'm a chick and chicks vent. oh yes, we do. the only women that i've ever met that didn't have the urge, or even the need to vent, are for all intensive purposes men or extremely manipulative nutjobs that aren't worth a blog. i've probably not been venting enough lately. my best friend is really busy this time of the year. y'all know i haven't been blogging much. and i'm not one to really overshare if i'm not in a good mood. i always believe good moods are contagious, and i like the idea of spreading good cheer. no matter what happens when, i'm not venting to my kids...childhood (even the teen years) shouldn't be about my problem du jour.
of course, venting isn't just about alleviating stress. sometimes, it's just thinking aloud. you can't vent to yourself in a mirror though--unless you're telling yourself what an idiotic mistake that was. it just comes off so phony. you just can't nod in understanding at yourself unless you're sybil. (look it up people if you're too young to know.) besides venting isn't just about getting it out of your system. sometimes venting is just about having someone that will listen.
now i have all kinds of hurdles to overcome when venting. i don't like to vent to just anyone. i only vent to people i trust, and frankly, i have layers of trust. i trust my boys, but it wouldn't happen while they're young and it wouldn't happen ever depending on the issue. there are just somethings your children should never know about you and vice versa. if i ever had a doubt, an ex-boyfriend and his mother completely convinced me. that crazy woman didn't need to be telling his little brother (a thirty-somethinger at the time) about how he couldn't because of size *shutter* sexually please a woman in front of his older brother's girlfriend at the time (moi) or any of the other crazy stuff those people thought was appropriate discussion. my boys just don't need to know, nor do i need to know. i haven't seen any of them naked since they were like 7 or 8 (and by accident i'm pretty sure) and would very much prefer it to stay that way. hell, i get uncomfortable when my middle one refers to his belly hair as his "happy trail"...*ugh*...
another hurdle is that many of my closest friends are almost always guys. yea, can't always tell them everything either. don't get me wrong, i have very open honest discussions with my guy friends, but there are levels of sharing, lines that just don't get crossed. one guy i might tell about how my date went, while another one who is just as good of a friend, i wouldn't dream of mentioning who i even went out with for fear of listening to a lecture on my dating habits. not that my dating habits are really that much to talk about--let's see...i'm trying to remember the last time i went on a date...oh begeebis... anywho, there's always an opinion that comes out of my guy friends (men really are opinionated, ask any woman) about what i'm saying and sometimes, well, i don't really want their opinion. thus why it's called venting instead of trolling for advice. i ask questions when i'm trolling for advice. men volunteer, by nature, resolution, solution and opinions. (yes, women can volunteer opinions too, but their opinions are usually based on personal experience rather than resolute solution guidance opinions.) obviously, at this point, i can rule out talking to anyone of my guy friends...
of course, i have female friends too, but unfortunately, some of them have been going through some really bad times and they certainly don't need to listen to me whine. on the other hand, the other ones are going through some really great times and i'm not a selfish enough b*tch to whine to someone who's life is going really well. *sigh*
i'd like to say that i could resolve it on my own. well, time heals all now, doesn't it? but truth is it's not just one thing. there's a slew of things all come to their hind legs at the same time. it doesn't happen often. maybe 3 to 6 times a year. i still sleep sound as a baby most of the time. nothing is worth getting myself worked up into a tizz over unless it's fun. i'm just so high energy that i've learned over the years it's just easier to try to forget about it than to worry about it. expounding that much energy on something negative is wasted energy, in my opinion (hahaha, right? oh kay, back on point). if i'm going to expend that much energy, well, i'd prefer to have it well spent on fun--of course, at this point, my neck is in pain, my back is starting to hurt and i feel tired. the bottle is a tad overfull. the stress isn't really affecting the mind, but the body is not happy. i'm going to have to find a vent point somewhere...
would it be weird to vent at a teddy bear? teddy bears are usually pretty good listeners, don't profer up advice where not asked for, and don't take any offense by colorful language. hmmmm....
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
happy birthday...
Good God, do I hate my birthday. Seriously. I've rarely had a "great" birthday. I think the last "great" birthday was my 21st, and I t-totalled my Mustang the Saturday following. Don't get me wrong; it's not that they've all been bad. But, none of them have been really memorable, and if they were memorable, it wasn't really in a good way. Better off forgotten type stuff. Regardless, there's a part of me that just nimbles around on egg shells as my looming birthday ticks down the days. I always enjoy it though, but again, not near as much as I have enjoyed Halloween or Valentine's Day.
I remember Halloweens. I remember trick or treating when it was snowing out, all bundled up in winter jackets that were way too bulky, running happy as a school girl (or was I a school girl?!?! oh right) and collecting candy and caramel corn balls (back when no one was worried that the little old lady that made them was the witch out of Hanzel and Gretel). It was a great Halloween. I remember dressing up as flappers with sorority sisters and making a huge night of it. I remember dressing up as Magenta and driving up to Ann Arbor for the Annual "Rocky Horror Picture Show" Midnight Show. I remember my ex and I winning first prize at a Halloween party, me as the prego pimp and him as a whore--he played the part well. (Hmmm, in hindsight, perhaps for good reason!!!)
Even more recently, I dressed as the Black Queen from X-Men. Not a character that the general public is familiar with, but to my surprise and sheer delight a little boy, maybe 8 to 10 years old, ran up on me all excited as his mother looked like she was going into complete shock and exclaimed in glee, "You're the Black Queen!!!"
I replied in character, "Why, of course I am."
"Your majesty." He made a little bow. (How cute!!!) And spun on his heels, ran to his mom and dad, and exclaimed, "She's the Black Queen!! She's the Black Queen!!!" (From the mother's look, I suspect she went home and went through those comic books pretty thoroughly. The Black Queen isn't exactly dressed morally.)
I love Halloween!! It's the one time of year that you can be anyone that you want to be for a few hours. I suspect that it only dis-appeals to those that are completely uncomfortable being themselves, let alone anyone else. I personally find it liberating to pretend to be a comic book heroine, or villain for that matter. Why not? This year I'm thinking about going as a "spoiled brat"--maybe something out of a 1930s movie. Why? Well, whenever I've moved, I have put up with the same stereotypes over and over and over. The first couple of years are always the same. General assumptions about what I must be--someone must pay my bills, my ex must pay a buttload of child support and alimony (child support that has remained the same since originally ordered in 1996, mind you), slut (I gotta assume this is because I'm kinda cute and single, which is simply the dumbest reason to assume someone's a slut--really in most cases sluts almost always have someone on a leash), probably cheated on my ex (other way around actually), and so on and so on and so on. By about 3 years, people start to "see" the real me and generally I find out that some of the people that initially seemed to be my friends, well, they weren't. Move again and repeat. The move to Kansas wasn't much different.
But, I'm an independent, self-made woman. I put myself through college in spite of coming from a family that could've paid for it (of course, they would've had I not been the stubborn snit I was). Maybe I was a spoiled little princess at one time--like when I was 12--and, maybe, I'd like to be someone's spoiled princess now--what woman doesn't wish someone would love her as much as her father did when she was a little girl? (Don't go all perverse on me here people...geez) So, I think it'd be a hoot to be a "spoiled little princess" for a night. It's not who I am, probably not even who I'd like to be, but fun for an evening, nonetheless. Fun is what makes Halloween so amazing!!
I know I also stated Valentine's Day. Well, sad but true, I'm a horribly hopeless romantic. I believe in the "happily ever after". There's got to be something to be said about never losing hope. Valentine's Day, of course, has mutated into the romantic holiday it is, but it's not about the origins or the original meaning or whether some card company turned it into what it is today. For me, it's just that day of the year where we can all cherish true love, or at least the idea of it. When I was younger, Valentine's was often a pretty good day for me--flowers, candy, candlelight dinners. As I got older, well, even my poor choice in men always knew how to make Valentine's special. (Either that or they know I'd dump them if they screwed up my second favorite day of the year!!) But even when I haven't been dating anyone, Valentine's hasn't "sucked". It's the day of hope. Almost like a new year. My grandmother and I used to fill out cards. It was usually the day before, because I'd have to take the cards to school. We'd talk and laugh and usually make cupcakes or cookies. It was always nice. Even as I got older, and even now.
But back to birthdays. A year older--not so bad. Yet, always like a black cloud drifting in slowly from the west. Yesterday, another birthday. Another year older. It's funny, but it's not the old part that bothers me. Maybe it's the part about being forgotten. Sometimes, it's about wanting it to be forgotten, and sometimes it's about wanting it to be remembered. This year, neither. It's just not that special without having someone that thinks it's that special. Halloween is always special, and enough people agree to make it special. Valentine's is special even if it's painful. Birthdays are only as special as the people around you make it. Probably should spend my birthdays alone, then I can make them as special as I want to make them.
I remember Halloweens. I remember trick or treating when it was snowing out, all bundled up in winter jackets that were way too bulky, running happy as a school girl (or was I a school girl?!?! oh right) and collecting candy and caramel corn balls (back when no one was worried that the little old lady that made them was the witch out of Hanzel and Gretel). It was a great Halloween. I remember dressing up as flappers with sorority sisters and making a huge night of it. I remember dressing up as Magenta and driving up to Ann Arbor for the Annual "Rocky Horror Picture Show" Midnight Show. I remember my ex and I winning first prize at a Halloween party, me as the prego pimp and him as a whore--he played the part well. (Hmmm, in hindsight, perhaps for good reason!!!)
Even more recently, I dressed as the Black Queen from X-Men. Not a character that the general public is familiar with, but to my surprise and sheer delight a little boy, maybe 8 to 10 years old, ran up on me all excited as his mother looked like she was going into complete shock and exclaimed in glee, "You're the Black Queen!!!"
I replied in character, "Why, of course I am."
"Your majesty." He made a little bow. (How cute!!!) And spun on his heels, ran to his mom and dad, and exclaimed, "She's the Black Queen!! She's the Black Queen!!!" (From the mother's look, I suspect she went home and went through those comic books pretty thoroughly. The Black Queen isn't exactly dressed morally.)
I love Halloween!! It's the one time of year that you can be anyone that you want to be for a few hours. I suspect that it only dis-appeals to those that are completely uncomfortable being themselves, let alone anyone else. I personally find it liberating to pretend to be a comic book heroine, or villain for that matter. Why not? This year I'm thinking about going as a "spoiled brat"--maybe something out of a 1930s movie. Why? Well, whenever I've moved, I have put up with the same stereotypes over and over and over. The first couple of years are always the same. General assumptions about what I must be--someone must pay my bills, my ex must pay a buttload of child support and alimony (child support that has remained the same since originally ordered in 1996, mind you), slut (I gotta assume this is because I'm kinda cute and single, which is simply the dumbest reason to assume someone's a slut--really in most cases sluts almost always have someone on a leash), probably cheated on my ex (other way around actually), and so on and so on and so on. By about 3 years, people start to "see" the real me and generally I find out that some of the people that initially seemed to be my friends, well, they weren't. Move again and repeat. The move to Kansas wasn't much different.
But, I'm an independent, self-made woman. I put myself through college in spite of coming from a family that could've paid for it (of course, they would've had I not been the stubborn snit I was). Maybe I was a spoiled little princess at one time--like when I was 12--and, maybe, I'd like to be someone's spoiled princess now--what woman doesn't wish someone would love her as much as her father did when she was a little girl? (Don't go all perverse on me here people...geez) So, I think it'd be a hoot to be a "spoiled little princess" for a night. It's not who I am, probably not even who I'd like to be, but fun for an evening, nonetheless. Fun is what makes Halloween so amazing!!
I know I also stated Valentine's Day. Well, sad but true, I'm a horribly hopeless romantic. I believe in the "happily ever after". There's got to be something to be said about never losing hope. Valentine's Day, of course, has mutated into the romantic holiday it is, but it's not about the origins or the original meaning or whether some card company turned it into what it is today. For me, it's just that day of the year where we can all cherish true love, or at least the idea of it. When I was younger, Valentine's was often a pretty good day for me--flowers, candy, candlelight dinners. As I got older, well, even my poor choice in men always knew how to make Valentine's special. (Either that or they know I'd dump them if they screwed up my second favorite day of the year!!) But even when I haven't been dating anyone, Valentine's hasn't "sucked". It's the day of hope. Almost like a new year. My grandmother and I used to fill out cards. It was usually the day before, because I'd have to take the cards to school. We'd talk and laugh and usually make cupcakes or cookies. It was always nice. Even as I got older, and even now.
But back to birthdays. A year older--not so bad. Yet, always like a black cloud drifting in slowly from the west. Yesterday, another birthday. Another year older. It's funny, but it's not the old part that bothers me. Maybe it's the part about being forgotten. Sometimes, it's about wanting it to be forgotten, and sometimes it's about wanting it to be remembered. This year, neither. It's just not that special without having someone that thinks it's that special. Halloween is always special, and enough people agree to make it special. Valentine's is special even if it's painful. Birthdays are only as special as the people around you make it. Probably should spend my birthdays alone, then I can make them as special as I want to make them.
Friday, September 16, 2011
happy enough...
"Alex,...I wanted to tell you in person, but I couldn't...You are simply the most stunning and amazing woman in Wichita."
The story of my life. An anonymous text message to my phone from a guy (I hope at least) from another area code who felt it necessary to tell me how amazing I am. Narrow down to someone that has my business card, has been to Wichita, and that knows me through work. It'd be a little creepy, except the texts (there was a bit more) were sweet and nothing was "creepy" in the texts. (He did identify himself, but that's not really relevant to the blog--especially since he was correct--I have no idea who he is.) The anonymous part was new but didn't phase me since I don't get a lot of creepy crawly types. Nope, I generally seem to attract two generalizations: guys who are so arrogant and full of themselves with little to no class that I wouldn't touch with a 50 foot pole or guys that are shy (at least when it comes to me) that don't tell me until or unless it's completely impossible for it to ever happen. I recently had a good friend tell me how wonderful I am. I was stunned. It wasn't expected at all. Of course, per my usual modus operandi, it's simply not going to happen. Hell, I've had guys that I've been friends with for years tell me at the most ridiculous times, one AFTER I got married even. It's not unusual at all.
Now don't get me wrong. This doesn't happen all the time. It just happens once in a while, but that's all. It never leads anywhere. Ok, granted sometimes it is because I wouldn't go there if a wild nest of bees was chasing me like a bear who just stole the honey pot, but sometimes, like in the case of this good friend of mine, well sometimes, I wish it would. No matter what though, each time it reminds me that it's never going to happen. Simply doesn't happen for someone like me. I used to joke I was a crazy train magnet (ok, my friends used to joke, and some still do, about the days that I seemed to attract only the biggest nuts in the room). That didn't help. Hard to ascertain the ones that are genuine and nice from the nuts if you seem to attract a lot of nuts.
I'm not complaining mind you. I certainly have no right to. I've got a great life overall. Nice home, good job, great boys, lots of fantastic friends and family. So I missed out on true love. I know what it looks like: two peas in a pod. Oh, yes, I know several of my friends that are what I call "happy enough married". Some more "happy enough" than others. "Happy enough" people can always end up divorced. Two peas in a pod--well, they've got something special that even the "happy enough" people that are on the top end of "happy enough" just dream about. I could've been happy enough with my ex, if I'd overlooked his cheating. I could've been happy enough with my youngest's dad if I'd overlooked his depression...and the Klan, his crazy mother, his crazy father, his crazy father's crazy redneck wife... I could've been happy enough several times. I've always passed on "happy enough". Why'd I get divorced if I was going to settle for "happy enough"? I've been holding out for that whole "two peas in a pod" thing.
Oh I know people that will tell me that's not that important. When you're old and grey and can barely move around, or when work is taking every waking moment because the sh*t hit the fan and there's no way you can spend time with the one you love, or when life throws you an unexpected curve ball, the other pea from your pod gets it. The "happy enough" aren't so happy then. Happy enough are looking for other reasons to stay together. The kids is a personal favorite--yes, because a bad example is so much better than a good one or none at all. Debatable yes, but not in a blog.
Happy enough has another problem. How much is "happy enough"? The engineer in me wants quantification. I have generally assumed that this must be some magic number that each person calculates based on their own wants and needs. Does the number fluctuate? Can you be "happy enough" on a scale of 10 at say 7 today and 5 tomorrow? If so, how exactly does that work? Do you all of the sudden decide that you can live with something today that you couldn't live with yesterday? It all seems quite confusing to me. Oh I know. I've heard the comeback before. You have to learn to compromise. Seems like "happy enough" is already a pretty big compromise to me. My friends that are married to their respective "pea in a pod" compromise, but neither feels gypped. From my humble observations, those people that are "happy enough" always seem a little miffed that the compromise leaned one way or the other. Worse yet, they both seem to feel gypped. I've got plenty of "happy enough" friends to observe. They're "happy enough", but when they have to compromise, one or both parties still feel a tiny bit slighted. A lifetime of that must be harrowing. Life is all about compromise. If you have to compromise once a month with the person that you are with (which is a very, very low estimate if you really think about it), then 20 years is 240 occasions where you and/or the significant other feel just a tad slighted. That's a lot. Then what happens when one or the other feels extremely slighted? I'm guessing that moving target of "happy enough" has to move downward relatively quickly.
"Happy enough" people are sometimes the "opposites attract" types. Opposites are great--because in general, they never agree. They go in knowing life is going to be one huge compromise. But they are combustible. Fire can be a powerful good thing or a powerful bad thing. Opposites can be madly, passionately in love. Give them a few minutes and they hate each other's guts. I've seen it work, and ironically, they seem to be higher in the "happy enough" scale than the average "happy enough" types. They seem to have a great time, as long as the passion keeps burning. I sometimes think that would be great. But given that I'm in my 40s now, and 40 something men have lost a lot of that combustibility, well, I can't see how my opposite is going to keep my attention for very long. I like the idea of having someone that I can converse with and understands what I'm talking about or at least follows what I'm talking about and vice versa. My complete opposite would be bored stiff with what I want to talk about. Moving on...
So seems that "happy enough" is not an option for me. (Yea, don't get me wrong; it might be the option for you--just not me.) So why am I a big hold out for my "pea in a pod"? I have friends that married, and the pairs are literally "two peas in a pod". They do have compromise, but it's in good humor. No one feels slighted, even when the compromise is completely uneven. They love to spend time together talking, doing things, and sometimes just doing the most mundane. There's a happiness that you can hear in their voices, in their choice of words, and even in what they don't say. They have a deeper connection than just the burning fire of opposites or that "happy enough" can ever have. You can live with someone and gain an appreciation for who they are. The longer that you're there, the more you know. But two peas in a pod don't need years. They know each other instinctively. It's actually amazing to watch and to be around. It makes me happy just to talk with my friends that are with their respective "peas". Happiness just exudes from them and it's contagious.
If I'm going to be "happy enough", well, I can be all happy enough all by myself. Like I stated earlier, I have a nice home, good job, great kids, great friends and family. I'm perfectly happy enough just as I am. That deep happiness that two peas in a pod share, well, I won't kid myself. There's no getting all the way there alone. But I see no reason to be with someone that makes me "happy enough" when I'm perfectly happy enough alone. Good thing I'm taoist. Next life.
The story of my life. An anonymous text message to my phone from a guy (I hope at least) from another area code who felt it necessary to tell me how amazing I am. Narrow down to someone that has my business card, has been to Wichita, and that knows me through work. It'd be a little creepy, except the texts (there was a bit more) were sweet and nothing was "creepy" in the texts. (He did identify himself, but that's not really relevant to the blog--especially since he was correct--I have no idea who he is.) The anonymous part was new but didn't phase me since I don't get a lot of creepy crawly types. Nope, I generally seem to attract two generalizations: guys who are so arrogant and full of themselves with little to no class that I wouldn't touch with a 50 foot pole or guys that are shy (at least when it comes to me) that don't tell me until or unless it's completely impossible for it to ever happen. I recently had a good friend tell me how wonderful I am. I was stunned. It wasn't expected at all. Of course, per my usual modus operandi, it's simply not going to happen. Hell, I've had guys that I've been friends with for years tell me at the most ridiculous times, one AFTER I got married even. It's not unusual at all.
Now don't get me wrong. This doesn't happen all the time. It just happens once in a while, but that's all. It never leads anywhere. Ok, granted sometimes it is because I wouldn't go there if a wild nest of bees was chasing me like a bear who just stole the honey pot, but sometimes, like in the case of this good friend of mine, well sometimes, I wish it would. No matter what though, each time it reminds me that it's never going to happen. Simply doesn't happen for someone like me. I used to joke I was a crazy train magnet (ok, my friends used to joke, and some still do, about the days that I seemed to attract only the biggest nuts in the room). That didn't help. Hard to ascertain the ones that are genuine and nice from the nuts if you seem to attract a lot of nuts.
I'm not complaining mind you. I certainly have no right to. I've got a great life overall. Nice home, good job, great boys, lots of fantastic friends and family. So I missed out on true love. I know what it looks like: two peas in a pod. Oh, yes, I know several of my friends that are what I call "happy enough married". Some more "happy enough" than others. "Happy enough" people can always end up divorced. Two peas in a pod--well, they've got something special that even the "happy enough" people that are on the top end of "happy enough" just dream about. I could've been happy enough with my ex, if I'd overlooked his cheating. I could've been happy enough with my youngest's dad if I'd overlooked his depression...and the Klan, his crazy mother, his crazy father, his crazy father's crazy redneck wife... I could've been happy enough several times. I've always passed on "happy enough". Why'd I get divorced if I was going to settle for "happy enough"? I've been holding out for that whole "two peas in a pod" thing.
Oh I know people that will tell me that's not that important. When you're old and grey and can barely move around, or when work is taking every waking moment because the sh*t hit the fan and there's no way you can spend time with the one you love, or when life throws you an unexpected curve ball, the other pea from your pod gets it. The "happy enough" aren't so happy then. Happy enough are looking for other reasons to stay together. The kids is a personal favorite--yes, because a bad example is so much better than a good one or none at all. Debatable yes, but not in a blog.
Happy enough has another problem. How much is "happy enough"? The engineer in me wants quantification. I have generally assumed that this must be some magic number that each person calculates based on their own wants and needs. Does the number fluctuate? Can you be "happy enough" on a scale of 10 at say 7 today and 5 tomorrow? If so, how exactly does that work? Do you all of the sudden decide that you can live with something today that you couldn't live with yesterday? It all seems quite confusing to me. Oh I know. I've heard the comeback before. You have to learn to compromise. Seems like "happy enough" is already a pretty big compromise to me. My friends that are married to their respective "pea in a pod" compromise, but neither feels gypped. From my humble observations, those people that are "happy enough" always seem a little miffed that the compromise leaned one way or the other. Worse yet, they both seem to feel gypped. I've got plenty of "happy enough" friends to observe. They're "happy enough", but when they have to compromise, one or both parties still feel a tiny bit slighted. A lifetime of that must be harrowing. Life is all about compromise. If you have to compromise once a month with the person that you are with (which is a very, very low estimate if you really think about it), then 20 years is 240 occasions where you and/or the significant other feel just a tad slighted. That's a lot. Then what happens when one or the other feels extremely slighted? I'm guessing that moving target of "happy enough" has to move downward relatively quickly.
"Happy enough" people are sometimes the "opposites attract" types. Opposites are great--because in general, they never agree. They go in knowing life is going to be one huge compromise. But they are combustible. Fire can be a powerful good thing or a powerful bad thing. Opposites can be madly, passionately in love. Give them a few minutes and they hate each other's guts. I've seen it work, and ironically, they seem to be higher in the "happy enough" scale than the average "happy enough" types. They seem to have a great time, as long as the passion keeps burning. I sometimes think that would be great. But given that I'm in my 40s now, and 40 something men have lost a lot of that combustibility, well, I can't see how my opposite is going to keep my attention for very long. I like the idea of having someone that I can converse with and understands what I'm talking about or at least follows what I'm talking about and vice versa. My complete opposite would be bored stiff with what I want to talk about. Moving on...
So seems that "happy enough" is not an option for me. (Yea, don't get me wrong; it might be the option for you--just not me.) So why am I a big hold out for my "pea in a pod"? I have friends that married, and the pairs are literally "two peas in a pod". They do have compromise, but it's in good humor. No one feels slighted, even when the compromise is completely uneven. They love to spend time together talking, doing things, and sometimes just doing the most mundane. There's a happiness that you can hear in their voices, in their choice of words, and even in what they don't say. They have a deeper connection than just the burning fire of opposites or that "happy enough" can ever have. You can live with someone and gain an appreciation for who they are. The longer that you're there, the more you know. But two peas in a pod don't need years. They know each other instinctively. It's actually amazing to watch and to be around. It makes me happy just to talk with my friends that are with their respective "peas". Happiness just exudes from them and it's contagious.
If I'm going to be "happy enough", well, I can be all happy enough all by myself. Like I stated earlier, I have a nice home, good job, great kids, great friends and family. I'm perfectly happy enough just as I am. That deep happiness that two peas in a pod share, well, I won't kid myself. There's no getting all the way there alone. But I see no reason to be with someone that makes me "happy enough" when I'm perfectly happy enough alone. Good thing I'm taoist. Next life.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Patriot Day...God Bless America
My father passed away almost 2 months ago now. It's amazing how it hasn't weighed on my mind. The worst day since the end of the funeral was the day I had to review voicemail messages that were due to be deleted..."Andra, this is Dad. Andra, this is Dad..." I guess Daddy forgot that voicemail can't be heard until you listen to it. Save. The second message, "Andra, this is Dad. Call me back..." Must've occurred to him it was a cell phone message. Save. "This message will be saved for 21 days." Yea, I'll wait and try to deal with it then.
My father and I were really close when I was little. I know what happened to make it all go south. It doesn't matter how, why, or when. All that matters is that those years that we missed each other don't matter near as much as the first 10 years and the last 10. It was almost 10 years ago when we started talking again. On 9/11/2001, it all seemed so unimportant what happened in between; it reminded me how important my father was to me. My father's office was 10 blocks from ground zero. It was November, a little over a week before Thanksgiving, before I could get a call into New York.
But this is not about my father, it is about September 11, 2001 and every 9/11 to follow. That fateful day, I was driving to school from my apartment in Anderson, South Carolina to Clemson University. I had gotten the boys to school and run my usual mile and a half. It was sunny, beautiful really. Temperature was moderate, fairly dry for the deep south, and the morning smelled of fresh dew. As I reached my turn off 28, the DJ was saying that a plane had flown into the first of the twin towers. "That's not funny," I remember thinking and changed the channel. I thought it was a joke, a bad humor joke. I found some music and finished my drive into Clemson, picked a parking lot close to my classes that day, and managed a decent spot. Grabbed my stuff and was off to class. My class was on the 3rd floor in a classic building where the stairwells were all those old wide school style stairs. At the top of the stairs, stopped and grabbed my usual wake-up call, 12-ounce can of Coke and Cheetos, and off to class. As I walked in, the class was somber. A few were watching live feed on a computer...the second tower had been hit and the first stood burning...and then dropped. I was sick. I couldn't imagine. I don't recall what happened after that. Nada, zip, zilch.
I remember that most of us couldn't fathom what, why or when. Flight 93's fate was on the radio by the time that I hit the sub shop on campus. I was having flashbacks to the fateful flight of the Challenger...standing in a room of close to 800 University of Toledo students watching the amazing launch of civilian astronauts and wondering if that one day could be one of us in that room, only to witness the most unbelievable explosion. The room had gone completely silent. We were stunned and no one spoke. The Clemson campus on September 11, 2001 was the same. We didn't speak. We sat at our usual tables in between our classes, with our usual study partners and friends. But we were stunned. We watched and listened in horror as the day unfolded. Tower two dropping, Flight 93, the Pentagon...
That day, any day like that, in silence we are all family. There is no stranger, no cause that could separate us, no resolve. Just shock. Then as the silence breaks, we are Americans. We fought for freedom from what we thought was an unfair British King. We fought ourselves over the freedom of all men. We fought for the freedom of Europeans devastated by two World Wars. We shocked the Japanese as we bore arms for the decimation of Pearl Harbor. The next day, no silence. Anger, frustration, many of us contemplating military service or returning to military service. Those few weeks that followed, hurt individuals, ruined individual lives, changed all of us forever. But with a quickening reminded all of us, we are American. We believe in fair, even if sometimes we forget to apply it. We believe in honest fair warfare, even if we have attacked our own in spite, foolish pride, or just plain ignorance--Timothy McVey, Eric Rudolph, Ruby Ridge, Michigan Militia, Ku Klux Klan, Aryan Nation...you name the homegrown terrorists, we have little to no sympathy because we believe in fair. Innocent deaths are unfair. They go against our deepest rooted beliefs. All men (and women) are created equal. We may suffer sometimes from our own hypocrisy, but we believe no innocent death should suffer silently unanswered.
So many innocent deaths that day...not just Americans. Many countries sent representatives to the World Trade Centers. It was an epicenter not just of American commerce, but of world commerce and hope--the United Nations. So little has been said of the United Nations since that fateful fall day in 2001. But, what it stands for, is that in spite of our differences, whether nationally or globally, we all, American, European, Asian, dream and hope.
What Al Queda would have the world believe is Americans are divided, bickering amongst ourselves, focusing on our own differences and self-absorbed infidels. Perhaps at times we are. We are, after all, only human. Show me anyone that isn't a little selfish at times, and I'll show you Mother Theresa. Even Ghandi admitted times of weakness. But we are not a divided country. The entirety of Europe doesn't meet the landmass of the United States. We are divided by our nature...Southerners, New Englanders, New Yorkers, the Badlanders, the Great Lakes, the Plains, the West, the Northwest, Texans and Californians. We are even divided by land and water--Alaskans and Hawaiians. But we are Americans...This is our country--United We Stand. We may not agree with our cousins from another region of our great land, but the one thing that holds us fast together is a belief of freedom for all.
We know freedom is not free, and we have been willing to give our lives--our brothers', sisters', husbands', wives', sons' and daughters' lives, for the better of all. It is saddening to find an organization like Al Queda that would test that resolve for freedom, but like so many terrorist groups, just as our own homegrown terrorist groups, they only see their own agenda. I'm not even sure that they know what their agenda truly is--sure to protect their people--but beyond that? Hitler dreamed of a strong Germany again...his hidden agenda--genocide. Lenin dreamed of 100% communal equality...the final agenda was a small group of Communist party members running the show and living like kings, and with Stalin in charge--genocide. We've, Americans, even made the mistake of backing these men that would be saviors of their people like Saddam Hussein. But history, hopefully, has taught us that they would turn on us and turn to--genocide. Saddam's regime annihilated at least 250K people for having a different religious definition of the same religion. Al Queda has already been confirmed to have a very extreme version of Islam. They would genocide all of us--Christian, Jewish, other Muslims, Buddhists, atheists.
As this new holiday, Patriot Day, September 11th, 2011, will come and pass, take notice our resolve. Let us not forget those that give their lives for our freedoms and for the freedom that we believe is not just for Americans, but for all people. God Bless America (or just Bless America, for the atheists)--the greatest country in the world, not just because of what makes us the same but what makes us different. Let us celebrate that we have overcome terrorists, homegrown and foreign. Let us remind the world that testing our resolve only brings us closer regardless of our differences. Let them know that all Americans are Patriots and this is our day.
My father and I were really close when I was little. I know what happened to make it all go south. It doesn't matter how, why, or when. All that matters is that those years that we missed each other don't matter near as much as the first 10 years and the last 10. It was almost 10 years ago when we started talking again. On 9/11/2001, it all seemed so unimportant what happened in between; it reminded me how important my father was to me. My father's office was 10 blocks from ground zero. It was November, a little over a week before Thanksgiving, before I could get a call into New York.
But this is not about my father, it is about September 11, 2001 and every 9/11 to follow. That fateful day, I was driving to school from my apartment in Anderson, South Carolina to Clemson University. I had gotten the boys to school and run my usual mile and a half. It was sunny, beautiful really. Temperature was moderate, fairly dry for the deep south, and the morning smelled of fresh dew. As I reached my turn off 28, the DJ was saying that a plane had flown into the first of the twin towers. "That's not funny," I remember thinking and changed the channel. I thought it was a joke, a bad humor joke. I found some music and finished my drive into Clemson, picked a parking lot close to my classes that day, and managed a decent spot. Grabbed my stuff and was off to class. My class was on the 3rd floor in a classic building where the stairwells were all those old wide school style stairs. At the top of the stairs, stopped and grabbed my usual wake-up call, 12-ounce can of Coke and Cheetos, and off to class. As I walked in, the class was somber. A few were watching live feed on a computer...the second tower had been hit and the first stood burning...and then dropped. I was sick. I couldn't imagine. I don't recall what happened after that. Nada, zip, zilch.
I remember that most of us couldn't fathom what, why or when. Flight 93's fate was on the radio by the time that I hit the sub shop on campus. I was having flashbacks to the fateful flight of the Challenger...standing in a room of close to 800 University of Toledo students watching the amazing launch of civilian astronauts and wondering if that one day could be one of us in that room, only to witness the most unbelievable explosion. The room had gone completely silent. We were stunned and no one spoke. The Clemson campus on September 11, 2001 was the same. We didn't speak. We sat at our usual tables in between our classes, with our usual study partners and friends. But we were stunned. We watched and listened in horror as the day unfolded. Tower two dropping, Flight 93, the Pentagon...
That day, any day like that, in silence we are all family. There is no stranger, no cause that could separate us, no resolve. Just shock. Then as the silence breaks, we are Americans. We fought for freedom from what we thought was an unfair British King. We fought ourselves over the freedom of all men. We fought for the freedom of Europeans devastated by two World Wars. We shocked the Japanese as we bore arms for the decimation of Pearl Harbor. The next day, no silence. Anger, frustration, many of us contemplating military service or returning to military service. Those few weeks that followed, hurt individuals, ruined individual lives, changed all of us forever. But with a quickening reminded all of us, we are American. We believe in fair, even if sometimes we forget to apply it. We believe in honest fair warfare, even if we have attacked our own in spite, foolish pride, or just plain ignorance--Timothy McVey, Eric Rudolph, Ruby Ridge, Michigan Militia, Ku Klux Klan, Aryan Nation...you name the homegrown terrorists, we have little to no sympathy because we believe in fair. Innocent deaths are unfair. They go against our deepest rooted beliefs. All men (and women) are created equal. We may suffer sometimes from our own hypocrisy, but we believe no innocent death should suffer silently unanswered.
So many innocent deaths that day...not just Americans. Many countries sent representatives to the World Trade Centers. It was an epicenter not just of American commerce, but of world commerce and hope--the United Nations. So little has been said of the United Nations since that fateful fall day in 2001. But, what it stands for, is that in spite of our differences, whether nationally or globally, we all, American, European, Asian, dream and hope.
What Al Queda would have the world believe is Americans are divided, bickering amongst ourselves, focusing on our own differences and self-absorbed infidels. Perhaps at times we are. We are, after all, only human. Show me anyone that isn't a little selfish at times, and I'll show you Mother Theresa. Even Ghandi admitted times of weakness. But we are not a divided country. The entirety of Europe doesn't meet the landmass of the United States. We are divided by our nature...Southerners, New Englanders, New Yorkers, the Badlanders, the Great Lakes, the Plains, the West, the Northwest, Texans and Californians. We are even divided by land and water--Alaskans and Hawaiians. But we are Americans...This is our country--United We Stand. We may not agree with our cousins from another region of our great land, but the one thing that holds us fast together is a belief of freedom for all.
We know freedom is not free, and we have been willing to give our lives--our brothers', sisters', husbands', wives', sons' and daughters' lives, for the better of all. It is saddening to find an organization like Al Queda that would test that resolve for freedom, but like so many terrorist groups, just as our own homegrown terrorist groups, they only see their own agenda. I'm not even sure that they know what their agenda truly is--sure to protect their people--but beyond that? Hitler dreamed of a strong Germany again...his hidden agenda--genocide. Lenin dreamed of 100% communal equality...the final agenda was a small group of Communist party members running the show and living like kings, and with Stalin in charge--genocide. We've, Americans, even made the mistake of backing these men that would be saviors of their people like Saddam Hussein. But history, hopefully, has taught us that they would turn on us and turn to--genocide. Saddam's regime annihilated at least 250K people for having a different religious definition of the same religion. Al Queda has already been confirmed to have a very extreme version of Islam. They would genocide all of us--Christian, Jewish, other Muslims, Buddhists, atheists.
As this new holiday, Patriot Day, September 11th, 2011, will come and pass, take notice our resolve. Let us not forget those that give their lives for our freedoms and for the freedom that we believe is not just for Americans, but for all people. God Bless America (or just Bless America, for the atheists)--the greatest country in the world, not just because of what makes us the same but what makes us different. Let us celebrate that we have overcome terrorists, homegrown and foreign. Let us remind the world that testing our resolve only brings us closer regardless of our differences. Let them know that all Americans are Patriots and this is our day.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
really obummer...
Please step away from the political race before the God damn Republican nominee has even been selected. I'll be honest--I didn't watch one minute of President Obama's speech. Obummer has me so frustrated at his political wranglings that I'm ready to move to Europe. (Just kidding...) But seriously, I decided that I would just wait for the print version and read it--which was a very enlightened decision on my part. Yes, he wants to pull out of Afghanistan. Yes, now he wants to focus on the economy. Yes, we, the American public, have spent a fortune on good will trips for the First Lady and daughters to explore the world (I know no different than previous Presidents, although I seem to see more and more of these ladies trips than the previous--either they're taking more or the media is over sensationalizing the whole thing--oh right, that's just me b*tching. That wasn't in the speech.) Yes, even though we are going to draw down in Afghanistan, we will ultimately build up along the Libyan border. Yes, even calling for Afghanistan to negotiate with the Taliban. (This would've shocked the hell out of me if I hadn't heard it last weekend. Thank God for small favors.) But really, as I read some of it, I just can't help thinking "campaigning already?"
Honestly, yes, I would like some focus on the economy, but Americans are "sick" of war? We definately don't want the war going on and on and on. However, let's consider "sick" in relative comparisons: During WW2, everyone was on rations. A household could only have so much butter and milk for crying outloud. Women couldn't have silk stockings because the material was used for parachutes. Women, everyday average housewives, were becoming Rosie the Riveters because all the men were at war--drafted and volunteered. We shoved Japanese Americans into camps, because we were afraid that they would turn on us. During Vietnam, the draft was full on. The protests were often ugly and deadly. Vietnam was horribly altering to the American psyche. We were defeated and not even definitively. There was no real winner--Vietnam was split, and many looked at it as us intervening in the last of the European colonies, on behalf of a dying empire (the French in this case--let's not even broach the concept considering that by then France was certainly not anywhere near an empire....a debate for a warm summer evening over bourbon with fireflies flashing by). But how "sick" are we? The military is still completely voluntary. There's no draft. We aren't on rations. Hell, the last time our country rationed something was in the 1970s when we could only buy gas on certain days of the week, and we weren't at war. I'm not sure any of us are really "sick" of the war, per se.
Maybe I would just prefer a more exact sentence like: "Americans are no longer at a point where we can afford the resources for a war." That's probably a more honest statement. We are well passed the trillion point for our deficit. We give and give and give. Why the heck are we always giving? Europeans and Americans give and give and give. Per a previous blog, we give to countries that can't or won't take care of their own. The truth probably is more like this: we're "sick" of giving and then finding out that half the world thinks that we are the bad guys, even after taking millions to billions of dollars of aid from us.
"When innocents are being slaughtered and global security endangered, we don't have to choose between standing idly by or acting on our own. ...(protecting) people and giving them the chance to determine their destiny." Ok, yes, the quote was in reference to President Obama's stance in regards to Libya and Libyan people. But really, how are the Libyans any different than the Afghans, the Iraqis or the slew that I tooted off in my last blog? Our being there is helping the people in the area--even in countries that we have no conflictual involvement with. They are finding their strength and giving collective voice to that strength. I have to agree with President on this one, but then, why doesn't it apply to Afghanistan? I know there are the arguments that Afghanistan has always been so divided, that even the Russians in the 70s and 80s couldn't get it under control. However, we are not the Iron Curtain of the USSR and we are NOT trying to control the Afghans. We want them to be able to have the same freedoms that we expect to be afforded to any human being.
President Obama cannot seem to understand that there is no distinction between what we want for the Libyans versus the Afghans, or Iraqis or Egyptians for that matter. I don't see the distinction. I'm sure those Americans that want us out of the Middle East don't see the distinction either. Either we're there in the Middle East (Northern Africa) or we're not. (Honestly, I read recently that some people don't realize that Libya and Egypt are in Africa...which is a whole different blog about the sinking of what used to be the greatest public education in the world...) I believe that we have to fight and defend those that cannot for themselves--I don't believe that Afghanistan is to a point where the average Afghan citizens will be able to keep control from the Taliban, some other extremist religious organization, or some wacked out dictator. They are just regaining their own footing. To leave them now, well, could be disastrous--not just for Afghanistan or the Middle East, but for the world.
President Obama isn't worried about the opinions that think we need to stay or go, to the best of my observations. He's a little self-absorbed. It's a good idea to be in North Africa, bombing Libya, but not so good where we already have started to help democracy entrench itself? I'm confused. (I know I'm not the brightest bulb, but I don't think it would be hard to confuse someone with this one.) Like I've stated before Obummer is worried about re-election, not the Afghans, not the Middle East, probably not even Libya--at least not at this point. But, act Presidential damn it and forget about the damn media, polls (yea, it worked for Billy Boy Clinton, but he was almost impeached for crying outloud so it wasn't working that well), and hell even my opinion. Don't draw down troops in Afghanistan just because of some campaign promise. Draw down because it's the right thing to do (which I'm pretty sure even President Obama isn't convinced of). Don't worry about the election--the damn Republicans haven't even begun their mud wrestling. Stay out of it. Don't get me wrong; I really don't want to see you re-elected. However, you start acting like a damn President instead of a politician and you may win my vote. Until then, I just sigh, "Obummer."
Honestly, yes, I would like some focus on the economy, but Americans are "sick" of war? We definately don't want the war going on and on and on. However, let's consider "sick" in relative comparisons: During WW2, everyone was on rations. A household could only have so much butter and milk for crying outloud. Women couldn't have silk stockings because the material was used for parachutes. Women, everyday average housewives, were becoming Rosie the Riveters because all the men were at war--drafted and volunteered. We shoved Japanese Americans into camps, because we were afraid that they would turn on us. During Vietnam, the draft was full on. The protests were often ugly and deadly. Vietnam was horribly altering to the American psyche. We were defeated and not even definitively. There was no real winner--Vietnam was split, and many looked at it as us intervening in the last of the European colonies, on behalf of a dying empire (the French in this case--let's not even broach the concept considering that by then France was certainly not anywhere near an empire....a debate for a warm summer evening over bourbon with fireflies flashing by). But how "sick" are we? The military is still completely voluntary. There's no draft. We aren't on rations. Hell, the last time our country rationed something was in the 1970s when we could only buy gas on certain days of the week, and we weren't at war. I'm not sure any of us are really "sick" of the war, per se.
Maybe I would just prefer a more exact sentence like: "Americans are no longer at a point where we can afford the resources for a war." That's probably a more honest statement. We are well passed the trillion point for our deficit. We give and give and give. Why the heck are we always giving? Europeans and Americans give and give and give. Per a previous blog, we give to countries that can't or won't take care of their own. The truth probably is more like this: we're "sick" of giving and then finding out that half the world thinks that we are the bad guys, even after taking millions to billions of dollars of aid from us.
"When innocents are being slaughtered and global security endangered, we don't have to choose between standing idly by or acting on our own. ...(protecting) people and giving them the chance to determine their destiny." Ok, yes, the quote was in reference to President Obama's stance in regards to Libya and Libyan people. But really, how are the Libyans any different than the Afghans, the Iraqis or the slew that I tooted off in my last blog? Our being there is helping the people in the area--even in countries that we have no conflictual involvement with. They are finding their strength and giving collective voice to that strength. I have to agree with President on this one, but then, why doesn't it apply to Afghanistan? I know there are the arguments that Afghanistan has always been so divided, that even the Russians in the 70s and 80s couldn't get it under control. However, we are not the Iron Curtain of the USSR and we are NOT trying to control the Afghans. We want them to be able to have the same freedoms that we expect to be afforded to any human being.
President Obama cannot seem to understand that there is no distinction between what we want for the Libyans versus the Afghans, or Iraqis or Egyptians for that matter. I don't see the distinction. I'm sure those Americans that want us out of the Middle East don't see the distinction either. Either we're there in the Middle East (Northern Africa) or we're not. (Honestly, I read recently that some people don't realize that Libya and Egypt are in Africa...which is a whole different blog about the sinking of what used to be the greatest public education in the world...) I believe that we have to fight and defend those that cannot for themselves--I don't believe that Afghanistan is to a point where the average Afghan citizens will be able to keep control from the Taliban, some other extremist religious organization, or some wacked out dictator. They are just regaining their own footing. To leave them now, well, could be disastrous--not just for Afghanistan or the Middle East, but for the world.
President Obama isn't worried about the opinions that think we need to stay or go, to the best of my observations. He's a little self-absorbed. It's a good idea to be in North Africa, bombing Libya, but not so good where we already have started to help democracy entrench itself? I'm confused. (I know I'm not the brightest bulb, but I don't think it would be hard to confuse someone with this one.) Like I've stated before Obummer is worried about re-election, not the Afghans, not the Middle East, probably not even Libya--at least not at this point. But, act Presidential damn it and forget about the damn media, polls (yea, it worked for Billy Boy Clinton, but he was almost impeached for crying outloud so it wasn't working that well), and hell even my opinion. Don't draw down troops in Afghanistan just because of some campaign promise. Draw down because it's the right thing to do (which I'm pretty sure even President Obama isn't convinced of). Don't worry about the election--the damn Republicans haven't even begun their mud wrestling. Stay out of it. Don't get me wrong; I really don't want to see you re-elected. However, you start acting like a damn President instead of a politician and you may win my vote. Until then, I just sigh, "Obummer."
Monday, June 20, 2011
talking with the taliban...
Apparently this weekend, it was leaked out by sources that we might be in negotiations with the Taliban. The Taliban!?!?! I was in utter shock. Ok, Obummer (yes, I'm assuming it's his idiotic idea), have you any recollection of history? Obummer has made it his end goal to keep his political promises--those promises made on the campaign trail are often so broken within months so I can honestly respect his end goal. But, the truth is that when dealing with terrorists, whether homegrown or Middle Eastern, we've had no success with negotiations--EVER. So I'm a tad nauseated that he, and his staff, would even consider it!!
Now all that aside, President Jimmy Carter (who I've compared President Obama to before) had a lot of luck negotiating the release of the hostages in Iran (feel the sarcasm). For those of you that need a refresher, Iran took Americans hostage as part of the Islamic Revolution. How dare Americans and Europeans bring our "live and let live" concepts to their hostile terrain? President Carter and all the rest of the "king's men" tried desperately for over a year (over a f*n year) to get Iran to release our hostages. President Reagan (pre-presidential year) basically promised to go in there and kick some Iranian *ss if we didn't get our hostages back. In the backroom negotiations once he was elected, he made it clear that was still his stance. He'd go to war over 50+ Americans. The stand-off ended for one simple reason--President Reagan was not taking it. America had been brow beaten for years due to greed (LBJ), corruption (Nixon), and wimpiness (Ford and Carter). From the Great Communicator came one message, no more crap. President Carter was not decisive and he was no military leader. He wimped out, and the result was 444 days for 50+ Americans kept in captivity as our nation held its collective breath. President Obama isn't really a wimp in the same sense, but unfortunately, he seems to be already focusing on re-election--keeping the promise to pull out troops. I'm not disagreeing with the concept...just the timing and moreover, the negotiations. The Taliban is a terrorist organization, not the Iranian government. Not a legitimate government of any sort--so frankly, I don't give a rats' buttocks what they want. There is no peace with terrorists. Period.
Heck, let me use our own idiotic homegrown terrorists as examples: Ruby Ridge. Waco. The Olympics Bombing. The Oklahoma City Federal Building. Homegrown morons with their own agenda. Ruby Ridge--no more taxes and stock pile weapons. Threaten government officials. Waco--same and more. Child abuse (marrying off multiple 12 year olds to your leader is at bare minimum child abuse). Anti-choice idiots--still completely perplexed how bombing the Olympics has anything to do with abortion. The Michigan Militia--how does bombing the Oklahoma City Federal Building have anything to do with taxes, not paying taxes, neo-nazism, et cetera? Not that the Michigan Militia has ever made much sense to me, but the point is that all of these groups have one thing in common. They don't stop until public opinion is too harsh for them to be as successful in recruitment. Period. They will always have some amount of people willing to follow like sheep, but their numbers dwindle when people, en masse, realize how ridiculous they are.
The Taliban has every reason to "negotiate". Egyptians successfully called for a re-vamp of their political system and the "dictator" who had run their government since the 70s to step down. Libya's political unrest has our attention and support. Saudi women are driving in protest of not being allowed (yes people, it is illegal according to religious law for women to drive in Saudi Arabia). Countries like Qatar and Kuwait who have not continued the ridiculous power of extreme religion over all people (since after all, even Islam has different sects like Christianity, Judism, etc.) have flourished. Why would people of other Islamic countries want the same freedoms? The Taliban preaches an extreme interpretation of Islam--one where women and children are little more than cattle. One where death to all that stand (or even just talk) in opposition of their extremist view and implementation of their religion. Of course, they want to negotiate. They want us, the European and American influences, gone. It's hard to terrorize the people in those countries when they see Americans, Brits, Canadians, Aussies, Germans, Italians,..all these young men and women willing to risk their lives for the basic freedoms that we all believe natural human rights. Imagine the empowerment that must give people that the Taliban have terrorized in the past. It's not surprising at all that the Saudi women, the Libyians, the Egyptians are all standing up for themselves. The Taliban, like all of the extremists whether in the Middle East or here in the United States, are only as powerful as the people they are trying to intimidate and control are willing to let them be. The Taliban is losing control and the only way to regain it is to get us to leave. Yes, Obummer, they want to "negotiate".
If we leave now, we will be destined to repeat the mistake. Ten years will pass and we will be at the same impasse. Every time we have neglected this region the extremists have taken over. We always leave them splintered and do not stay long enough to ensure the extremists will not re-gain a foothold. Then we spend years trying to rectify our mistake, only to pull back out after only finishing half the game. That is a loss not just for us, because the biggest losers are the everyday average Arabs as the extremists take back over.
Let's take a lesson from one of our most successful wins--WW2. Japan and Germany were "occupied" for decades. Japan was by treaty to be occupied for 50 years. Japan is one of the most flourishing societies on the planet. Their country didn't have near the fanaticism that Germany had. The Germans have also rebuilt one of the best societies in spite of being split for the majority of the last century. Their economy has survived the economic downturn better than many of the other EU countries. These two examples should be our focus as we move forward.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not advocating NATO military presence for the next 50 years in the Middle East. All I'm stating is the obvious conclusions we can make based on history. We've got the Taliban on the run--to the point they'd like to trick us out of the region. The extremists are on the run, not just from our coalition, but from their own, everyday, ordinary people that wish to live in their homelands with the freedom to have opinions of their own, the freedom to choose how to live their lives without fear of reprisal from religious extremists, the freedom to live as human beings. But should we to turn tail and run to keep a political promise made before President Obama even had access to what only the President and his top aides have access to? He kept us there through most of this tenure for a reason; he found out why GW kept us there. Now is not the time to suffer tunnel vision and leave those people counting on us, rising up because of us, to the wolves that have made them suffer for so many decades. Lest we forget, the same wolves brought down our World Trade Centers. If we do, shame on us for leaving this for the next generation to have to re-fight and shame on us for deserting those who only want what any human being should always be afforded.
Now all that aside, President Jimmy Carter (who I've compared President Obama to before) had a lot of luck negotiating the release of the hostages in Iran (feel the sarcasm). For those of you that need a refresher, Iran took Americans hostage as part of the Islamic Revolution. How dare Americans and Europeans bring our "live and let live" concepts to their hostile terrain? President Carter and all the rest of the "king's men" tried desperately for over a year (over a f*n year) to get Iran to release our hostages. President Reagan (pre-presidential year) basically promised to go in there and kick some Iranian *ss if we didn't get our hostages back. In the backroom negotiations once he was elected, he made it clear that was still his stance. He'd go to war over 50+ Americans. The stand-off ended for one simple reason--President Reagan was not taking it. America had been brow beaten for years due to greed (LBJ), corruption (Nixon), and wimpiness (Ford and Carter). From the Great Communicator came one message, no more crap. President Carter was not decisive and he was no military leader. He wimped out, and the result was 444 days for 50+ Americans kept in captivity as our nation held its collective breath. President Obama isn't really a wimp in the same sense, but unfortunately, he seems to be already focusing on re-election--keeping the promise to pull out troops. I'm not disagreeing with the concept...just the timing and moreover, the negotiations. The Taliban is a terrorist organization, not the Iranian government. Not a legitimate government of any sort--so frankly, I don't give a rats' buttocks what they want. There is no peace with terrorists. Period.
Heck, let me use our own idiotic homegrown terrorists as examples: Ruby Ridge. Waco. The Olympics Bombing. The Oklahoma City Federal Building. Homegrown morons with their own agenda. Ruby Ridge--no more taxes and stock pile weapons. Threaten government officials. Waco--same and more. Child abuse (marrying off multiple 12 year olds to your leader is at bare minimum child abuse). Anti-choice idiots--still completely perplexed how bombing the Olympics has anything to do with abortion. The Michigan Militia--how does bombing the Oklahoma City Federal Building have anything to do with taxes, not paying taxes, neo-nazism, et cetera? Not that the Michigan Militia has ever made much sense to me, but the point is that all of these groups have one thing in common. They don't stop until public opinion is too harsh for them to be as successful in recruitment. Period. They will always have some amount of people willing to follow like sheep, but their numbers dwindle when people, en masse, realize how ridiculous they are.
The Taliban has every reason to "negotiate". Egyptians successfully called for a re-vamp of their political system and the "dictator" who had run their government since the 70s to step down. Libya's political unrest has our attention and support. Saudi women are driving in protest of not being allowed (yes people, it is illegal according to religious law for women to drive in Saudi Arabia). Countries like Qatar and Kuwait who have not continued the ridiculous power of extreme religion over all people (since after all, even Islam has different sects like Christianity, Judism, etc.) have flourished. Why would people of other Islamic countries want the same freedoms? The Taliban preaches an extreme interpretation of Islam--one where women and children are little more than cattle. One where death to all that stand (or even just talk) in opposition of their extremist view and implementation of their religion. Of course, they want to negotiate. They want us, the European and American influences, gone. It's hard to terrorize the people in those countries when they see Americans, Brits, Canadians, Aussies, Germans, Italians,..all these young men and women willing to risk their lives for the basic freedoms that we all believe natural human rights. Imagine the empowerment that must give people that the Taliban have terrorized in the past. It's not surprising at all that the Saudi women, the Libyians, the Egyptians are all standing up for themselves. The Taliban, like all of the extremists whether in the Middle East or here in the United States, are only as powerful as the people they are trying to intimidate and control are willing to let them be. The Taliban is losing control and the only way to regain it is to get us to leave. Yes, Obummer, they want to "negotiate".
If we leave now, we will be destined to repeat the mistake. Ten years will pass and we will be at the same impasse. Every time we have neglected this region the extremists have taken over. We always leave them splintered and do not stay long enough to ensure the extremists will not re-gain a foothold. Then we spend years trying to rectify our mistake, only to pull back out after only finishing half the game. That is a loss not just for us, because the biggest losers are the everyday average Arabs as the extremists take back over.
Let's take a lesson from one of our most successful wins--WW2. Japan and Germany were "occupied" for decades. Japan was by treaty to be occupied for 50 years. Japan is one of the most flourishing societies on the planet. Their country didn't have near the fanaticism that Germany had. The Germans have also rebuilt one of the best societies in spite of being split for the majority of the last century. Their economy has survived the economic downturn better than many of the other EU countries. These two examples should be our focus as we move forward.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not advocating NATO military presence for the next 50 years in the Middle East. All I'm stating is the obvious conclusions we can make based on history. We've got the Taliban on the run--to the point they'd like to trick us out of the region. The extremists are on the run, not just from our coalition, but from their own, everyday, ordinary people that wish to live in their homelands with the freedom to have opinions of their own, the freedom to choose how to live their lives without fear of reprisal from religious extremists, the freedom to live as human beings. But should we to turn tail and run to keep a political promise made before President Obama even had access to what only the President and his top aides have access to? He kept us there through most of this tenure for a reason; he found out why GW kept us there. Now is not the time to suffer tunnel vision and leave those people counting on us, rising up because of us, to the wolves that have made them suffer for so many decades. Lest we forget, the same wolves brought down our World Trade Centers. If we do, shame on us for leaving this for the next generation to have to re-fight and shame on us for deserting those who only want what any human being should always be afforded.
Friday, June 17, 2011
OBummer, Part Deux
So yesterday morning I was getting ready for work. Part of my normal morning ritual is to turn on the news—before 7 am, it’s the local news, then followed by CBS’s morning news. They are, of course, buzzing all about that moron House member who blogged various naked pictures of himself…this is truly exciting stuff. He has a prego wife, he’s a moron, and he has an idiotic name. Yep, very amusing (can you feel the sarcasm?!?!). Yes, with the fires in Arizona, the flooding along some of the midwestern rivers, the scorching heat in the entire southern United States…well, you get my point. They dedicated a moment blurbage to these things (although the other week when NYC was scorching hot they dedicated almost what seemed like a lifetime—of course, they’re in NYC and doesn’t the closeness for them make it oh so much more important for the rest of us…), meanwhile hyping up this scandal. Ok, let’s blurb up my point of view of the scandal. The man has been married for a year. Yes, a year. Sounds like a marriage made in heaven. Move on. The weather concerns me—I’ve vaguely caught how many people have died. How the electricity has gone off in some areas. Yada, yada, yada. However, here’s my assessment. It’s cyclitic. The weather that is. Eighty years ago-ish, the plain states suffered a huge draught, horribly cold winters (estimated worse than the Blizzard in 78)--terrible heat, followed by insufferable cold. Hmmm, sound familiar…anyone, anyone?!?!?! Hell, has anyone heard hide nor hair of the Japanese nuclear plant? Nope. Not a word. Old news…although the added heat to the atmosphere, that floats over the Pacific to find landfall in North America…ah, right, there I go thinking again. That wouldn’t have anything to do with the unusally high temperatures that we are experiencing in the South. I can’t understand why anyone would continue to consider that newsworthy!! Hell, even the 1st Republican debate only received a noteworthy 2 minutes tops. (And this is CBS!! The most “fair” of the big non-cable televison networks… but, of course, “fair” is relative…) The news seems more like a visually active version of the National Enquirer anymore—which, as usual, is a b*tch for an entirely different blog…
Because this blog isn’t about that. It's about the economy and it’s about the insufferable amount on non-blame being put on Obama for the economy. They spent 10 minutes-ish yesterday morning talking about his visit to Puerto Rico to “win” the hispanic vote. (Yes, his visit to Puerto Rico actually received more coverage than Weiner did.) First off, Puerto Rico is NOT a state!!! Really, seriously, Puerto Rico is a territory and as such, Puerto Ricans have no vote. Would the media be equally excited if he went to our territory of Guam and started kissing babies and shaking hands there? No (ok, maybe, the morons), but they went on and on about how this trip was to help him with the hispanic population. OK, so apparently, the Mexican American population is supposed to be won over with a visit to Puerto Rico?!?! How stupid do they think we are? How stupid does Obummer think the hispanic population of this country is? Second, they pointed out how important the hispanic population is to a re-election run. Yes, absolutely. But how about the economy? Does Obummer seriously think that hispanics are so stupid that they will be so impressed by him shaking a few hands in a territory that they will go completely brain dead as far as his lack of doing jacksh*t about our economy?!?!? Perhaps, he’s going to impress the upper-class, white-protestant liberals who like to pat themselves on the back for the menial dollars that they throw at Goodwill after someone points out how many homeless veterans there are in the United States. These people are often all about what they can do to “help”, but somehow their version of volunteering, all too often, is going to $100 per plate dinner for their favorite politician and writing it off on their taxes. Yes, Obummer, please impress them with your trivial trip to Puerto Rico.
In the meantime, when the news does talk about the economy, they point out it’s getting worse. North Carolina is still at 9%+ unemployment. Almost all of the automotive manufacturing dominated states are still in or damn close to double digit unemployment. Automotive, although on the path to recovery, can only recover as fast as the rest of us are willing to run out and buy a new car. However, people, average Joes like you and me, are not spending money. Our taxes are set to be up to double for many of us at the end of this year. We’re all freaking out that when we complete our tax forms next year we’ll be screwed writing checks to the IRS rather than breaking even or getting back something. We’re all still afraid that the economy isn’t making a turn around and tomorrow could be our last day of work—even those of us that feel we’re ok for now are unwilling to risk that the economy gets even worse and we’ll be in the pooper tomorrow.
Those of us that are middle class (the rich, according to Obummer) are worried that the definition of rich for a family of 4 is now $80K a year. This coming from an idiot that lives in a 50K square foot home--provided to him for free including all of the needed utilities, with a salary of over $400K, who made millions on the people that bought his book. He wants to talk about deficit reduction…I’m all for him giving over his $400K a year. How about anyone in the US Government that has an income of more than $500K of their own go ahead and forfeit their government salary for the year? It’s not unheard of. Several major corporation CEOs took no income as a gesture of good faith to prove that it wasn’t about the almighty dollar. Let’s see Obummer do it. Nancy Pelosi? Hillary Clinton? John Edwards? (Oh wait, his rich wife left his cheating ass…) How do we seriously expect these people to know what it’s like to suffer when they can write all the bounced checks they want, never with a fee, against our own Government’s bank? They want to buy something, and unlike the rest of us, they literally aren’t out of money until they run out of checks!!!! Yet, somehow to the news media, even the less rampantly left media, no one seems to be to blame when the economy comes up. It's all about the economy failing, and gee whiz kiddies, isn’t it so sad that the average minions are suffering? (YES, for clarification, I do consider a family of 4 with $80K a year the minions!!)
My personal favorite from this morning, “Wall Street analysts are ok with the last 6 weeks of downturn, because it wasn’t as bad as their projections said.” Ah yes, because every guy and gal that makes money on stocks going up in price doesn’t mind a loss across the board as long as the loss was less than they thought. Yes, aren’t we all just thrilled that the analysts estimated even bigger losses. Bonds (the safest bet) were estimated to lose 20%...some of those retirees must be so excited that they only lost 15%. Seriously!?!?! With the last 6 weeks of downturn, I want personal tax cuts!!! I want corporate tax cuts!! I want true incentives to get the economy rolling—lower interest rates on car purchases, household purchase incentives, government incentives for investing that aren’t regulated to those people that know how to manipulate the system and have the high amount of money to make it worth their effort like the Rockefellers or Kennedys.
I know, I stated it: TAX CUTS. Individual, corporate, across the damn board. Bet most of my readers are completely unaware that several major corporations have moved their headquarters to Europe because their taxes on corporations are cheaper!!! Cisco Systems literally moved all of their top executives to Europe, bought homes for them to live in, and pay to send them and their families home to visit the United States (Americans, people) because it’s cheaper for them to do that than pay the taxes our government has levied on them. (Yes, really, look it up.) Cisco isn’t the only one. And do the math folks, people, American or not--overseas, build overseas, employ overseas, buy overseas. A measly two weeks out of the year they’re here, and the rest of the time, they are feeding the EU economy. Not helping our economy one bit.
But our greedy government doesn’t give up there. No. Now if a company wants to bring capital (cash) into the United States for building a new plant, adding a new department, hiring new people, capital is now taxable!!!! Corporations pay taxes on money earned just like any average Joe does. They put it in a working fund (I’m not an accountant so I have no idea what they really call it) kinda like any average middle class citizen would put money in a savings account. Now we already paid tax on the money we earned—how would average Joe feel about putting $1000 in his savings account then deciding to buy a new dryer but paying tax again as he took his money out of his savings? Not the sales tax. No, no. At the end of the year, he pays 15% to the federal government. How many of us are ok with that? We all know how 401Ks work. We don’t pay tax on that money, but we pay tax and penalties if we take it out. Would we be ok with paying tax and penalties on money that we already paid the tax on? If not, why in the hell would we be ok with corporations doing it? Especially if it means investment in the American economy, on American soil, and American jobs? (Don’t get me wrong here—I believe in a world economy, but the world economy is as interdependant on the American economy recovery as EU’s recovery.) My point is our laws, more importantly, our tax structure is not helping us recover.
I know, Obummer is so worried about the deficit. My Grams used to say “a time and place for everything”. This is not the time, unfortunately. (If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, you know where the US stands as far as deficit compared to other countries’ deficits.) While I agree our deficit is amazing (in that whole sarcastic, holy sh*t batman, who let it get that out of control?!?!), it’s the spending that is the real problem. Our government still spends thousands of dollars on non-value add crap—there are still government watchdog organizations that can show them spending $10K on something average Joe could buy for $500. They lost, LOST, $6.8 BILLION in the Iraq Recovery Fund--LOST!!! Money went over there and we have no idea where it went, but we know it didn't go to the recovery. Hmm, what if we had applied that to our deficit. But even that only received a 30 second blurb on the news!!! The bottom line is no matter what higher taxes aren't the answer. Hell just the fear of higher taxes is keeping all of us from spending any money at all. The fear factor alone is stagnating our economy. No one wants to spend in case they lose their jobs. No one wants to spend if they might be paying higher taxes. No company wants to pour in capital or hire if they might be hit with higher taxes. Here's a clue Obummer: If no one is working, no amount of taxes is going to help the deficit. Can’t squeeze the lemon dry if the lemon doesn’t have any juice.
President Obama has an agenda—perhaps, with the best intentions. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Tunnel vision about his view of the new world order, tunnel vision about the deficit in a time that needs tax cuts and spending cuts to be effective, tunnel vision about healthcare reforms that most of us that had good insurance are still scoffing at what we lost, tunnel vision about the environment which he can’t even get to (thank God!!), tunnel vision about what Americans and the United States of America are, represent and should be. Tunnel vision is a limit. There’s no left, no right, no other direction but forward. And unfortunately, Obummer is missing that there’s no way to get to the end of the tunnel in this economy. He doesn’t have the money to reform healthcare…he did it anyway. He has a vision and he wants someone else to figure out how to get there (his budget actually gives numbers while not actually deciding how to get to those numbers). All fine and good. But, there’s a hell of a lot more going on than those great ideas in his head.
Frankly, he reminds me of Jimmy Carter—except Jimmy Carter knew he couldn’t get his vision to fruitition. (For those of you that don’t remember, Jimmy Carter wanted farm subsidies and serious aid to American farmers. During his Presidency, President Carter kept pushing it, but to no avail. Ironically, the farm subsidies and aid did come—during President Reagan’s administration.) President Carter was side-swiped by the American hostages in Iran. His Presidency was marred by the fact that he had plenty of vision and no idea how to get there—very similar to President Obama. The same failing economy, horribly high gas prices, rising prices on just about everything, high unemployment, and issues that never seemed to end with the Middle East. Ironically, there was only one hope in that situation: a President that not only had a vision, but a plan to get there. President Reagan was different in that his only ideal, his only vision: The Greatest Nation in the World—Proud to be American. The plan to get there—“carry a big stick” and burying the Iron Curtain, threaten Iran if they didn’t return our people, hire an economic think-tank to figure out how to save the economy. He had a plan, he wasn't hell bent that it had to be "his" plan, and the Great Communicator could sell it. President Obama is very likely to be destined to be like President Carter. A lot of talk, a LOT of ideas—some very good, and no plan to make anything come to frutition. Perhaps like President Carter, he will be a far better politician and man after office than during--just wonder what kinda spin CBS news will put on it…
Politicians just really don’t get it. How can most of them? They enter the political scene as soon as they can out of college. They start being a cog in the wheel immediately—dependant on how much money they can raise, if their political allies get into office, et cetera. If they are elected, well, they are distanced that much further from the rest of us—better health care than any American (working or not), a bank that pays all the bounced checks with no penalties (really, I’m just so flabbergasted by this I have to beat the dead horse), paychecks for the rest of their lives, guaranteed retirements…ah, the list goes on and on and on and on…Really why worry that the rest of us are on edge about losing our jobs? They’ve got a job, a paycheck, oh and if we get fed up and vote them out of office, they’ve got other politicians that they can work for. Amazing. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a HUGE fan of our political system. Not a huge fan of politicians. They voted in their own pork bellies (decades ago,so really most of them are dead that actually put the initial pork bellies in), but the idiots in office now aren’t clamouring to get rid of those pork bellies….and actually, every so often, have the audacity to add a new pork belly for themselves. Obummer.
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