Who the hell wants to be a woman?

Lately some of you have been thinking about, even if briefly, something I had to think about a long time ago.  Being a female in the United States Military, regardless of branch, has always meant that we're going to live with lesbians and transgenders.   It doesn't matter whether we served as nurses during the Civil War or the War to End All Wars (aka. WWI), WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm or the current never ending conflict or anywhere in between.  Even as the military has increased its female population to over 15% (2015 statistics), the demographics of lesbians and transgender women in the military is actually higher than the general population.  Over 11% of all females in the military admit to being gay while the general population (the civilian, never served population) is less than 5%.  Usually the military is a mirror of current society.  Those of us that volunteer are a statistical representation of who we are as a country.  By this I mean, social class, financial class, and educational, race and regional backgrounds.  The military is just a smaller duplicate pie...EXCEPT for the comparison to the gay community.  More than double of the big pie of the female gay community joins the military.  On the opposite note, only half of the male gay community is represented.  LGBT men are approximately 3.7% of the population.  Yet, they make up just over 2% of the men that serve.  We are talking about a very small part of the military community for the men in the military.  We are talking about a very large percentage of women in the military for those women that serve.  So, for the obvious reasons, as a former military female, I had to come to grips with the fact a lot of the women I had to share quarters with, shower with, get dressed and undressed with were actually attracted to women, and potentially me....

Now, if you know me well, you know I grew up surrounded by male influences and my closest friends have generally been men.  I work in a male dominated field in traditionally male dominated industries.  So, it may or may not come to a surprise to some of you that I get an upchuck feeling when I see two women kiss.  Yup, just like many men claim when they even think of two guys.  Guess what I do?  I look away.  Imagine that.  Just looking away.  But that is what our society dictates is appropriate if two women are swapping tongue.  You don't like it?  Mind your own business and look away.  

Now, that's all fine and dandy, right?  But here's something some of you, particularly the women that are forming opinions, can consider coming from the perspective of a woman that did have lesbian transgender roommates and from as usual a very unique perspective....

First, consider this question:  Why is it okay for a woman to be gay but not a man?  Really.  I know plenty of people--droves in fact--that find it perfectly acceptable for a woman to be gay, but get downright nasty when we start talking about gay men.  Why is this?  In fact, let's take that question one step further.  It's common place for a large percentage of gay women to talk like, act like, dress like and do everything they can to look like men.  Again, this is perfectly acceptable to a very large majority of the population, even the population that doesn't find it acceptable to be a gay man.  Now, for those of you a little naive, that woman that you find perfectly acceptable, dressing, talking, grabbing her imaginary junk as if she were a man--well, she's a transgender.  Yes, almost all of us know several transgender women.  Think about the ones you know.  Are you offended by the fact they want to dress like men?  Are you offended that they want to talk like men?  Be treated like men?  Act like men?  The answer so far as I've asked people has been a resounding "NO".  It is perfectly fine to be a woman who wants to be a man.  In fact, a large majority of men, even the ones that I wouldn't call neanderthals, like to punchline it with "can't fault them for liking to eat p*ssy" or some similar vulgar comment and a hardy har-har....

Now, let that settle, particularly if you are a woman...then ask yourself:  Why isn't our response when we hear about a man who is gay "can't fault him for liking the d*ck" har, har, har?  WHAT????  OMG.  Yea, but seriously, why is that?  Is it because none of us like sex?  I know a shit ton of women that I am very good friends with and trust me if they are any representation of women as a whole, then that is not the reason.  Most women do like sex.  So....Is it because we don't like men who don't act like "men"?   Well, we all know that straight men can sometimes act like children no matter how manly man they are, and every woman finds this endearing at times.  So, no, probably not that.  In fact, gay men typically get along with women far better than they do with other men.  So what is it that causes us to say that gay men, transgender particularly, can't serve in the military but transgender women can?  

It comes down to one thing.  Really.  Society dictates what is or isn't appropriate for women.  Transgender men want to be women.  Women cannot serve in the military.  Not so long ago this was a huge argument.  Women only went to combat ships in the 1990s.  Women can't fight in combat roles.  There are finally female medics in combat roles and they act as bravely as their male counterparts.  One was even awarded the Silver Star.  Women cannot, and if you want to be a woman, neither can you.  

That's right this all comes down to society and how we devalue women--how we women devalue ourselves.  I've been asked over the years more times than I can count whether I'm gay.  I was in the military.  I'm not just an engineer--I'm a mechanical engineer which is less than 2% female.  I'm a gearhead and I ride my own motorcycle.  I am described as carrying myself with the confidence of most men.  Like one of my best friends describes me--"everything a man would be if a man were a woman".  But, here's the kicker...I'm straight.  I LOVE being a woman.  I'm also girly girl as hell.  So this is why I know better than anyone what the real problem with transgender males in the military is, because we all know there is zero problem with transgender women in the military or in society as a whole.  Transgender men want to be women and supposedly being a woman sucks.  Women aren't supposed to be engineers, or mechanical engineers or in the military.  Women are supposed to be barefoot, pregnant, and basically still subsidized by their stronger, more valued male counterparts.  And ladies as long as you don't speak up for those men that would rather be women or like women, guess what?  We will continue to be devalued.  

No, no, no?  Yes, actually.  It's that simple.  It's not a choice, but most people still look at being LGBT, particularly the T of it, as some kind of choice.  The LGB many of us have come to terms that it isn't a choice, and that lesbians, gays and bis are born that way.  But the T?  Somehow that's still a choice.  Well, if it's a choice and it's okay to be a female T who wants to dress, act and talk like a man, then why is it not okay for a male T to want to be a woman?  It comes down to ALL women.  Our value in our society.  Women being valued for being women and still being equal to men???  Unheard of.  It's as simple as that.  Society at some levels still devalues us simply because we are not men--there's no choice there.

No transgender is making a "choice"; they are who they were born to be.  I don't think any of my lesbian friends that dress like men are trying to be men.  They are trying to be themselves.  They identify more as men than as women.  But our society is okay with that because it's "better" to be a man.  But ladies, and gentlemen, it's awesome to be a woman!!! That's what we as a society really haven't embraced yet.  And that's why we can embrace the female transgenders and still mock and put down them there male Ts.  Because we still put down women in our society and who the hell in their right mind would want to be a woman???