gets old...

honestly, i don't know what to think of some people. since i live in the world where you do what you say, say what you mean, and my word is my bond, i don't get how some people not only don't keep their word, but in fact seem completely shocked if someone doesn't just let their transgressions slide.

some transgressions, granted are smaller than others, and should be easier to let go down the foxhole. for example, a guy that doesn't follow through with plans is much easier to "forgive" than a backstabber that was pretending to be a friend. recently i was reminded how irritating a backstabber is. this woman went on and on about how everyone that she and a guy she works with would've been good together..."everyone" that they work with thought so. umm, fishy part was she was trying to be my friend and i was kinda seeing the guy in the background noise without wanting a bunch of people in my business. (i really don't like people in my business.) so she was all of the sudden wanting to be my friend, almost immediately after i went out a couple of times with this guy. i kinda suspected that he might have asked her about me, but i let that slide. in the meantime, she's telling me how i should date this mid-50-ish guy that they all know, and how everyone they work with thought she and the guy i'm dating should be dating, and best of all, how she's not dating a guy who claims she's his girlfriend, who she gets pissed if he doesn't pay for her drinks at the bar and who takes her on weekend trips where they share a king size hotel room....ummm, ok. but, me being who i am, i decided that i would give her the benefit of the doubt. perhaps she's just an honest, upfront person similar to myself and perhaps, none of this has some more grotesque underlying nasty manipulative motive...perhaps. i stick it out for a month--red flag, after red flag, after red flag...still after other red flags. other acquaintances accusing her of being a drug addict. never saw it myself, so again, benefit of the doubt. still others saying they wouldn't trust her as far as they could pick her up, or how she's using that boyfriend of hers--leading him on, or even some going so far as to call her names. whatever. i'll decide for myself.

in the meantime, as i stated, red flag, red flag...still i had no proof. the guy was all interested in me the first week, then seemed genuinely interested the second--but diminished a little maybe, then still seemingly interested but not following through with plans--once...twice...a third time....she tells me once she's gotten me to admit that i'm dating him that she wouldn't put up with that crap. even though he's her friend, and everyone thinks that he and she should be dating. still wondering what idiots she's talking about--this guy is a professional, clean cut, sweet, and she's a wild ass to the umpteenth degree--let alone the whole "don't poop where you eat, don't date where you work"...there's nothing that would make a normal person think that this would ever happen. it would be like picturing me dating a super nerd with no personality who barely ventured out of the house--like mixing chocolate with poop, might have the same coloring, but smell, taste, presentation, audiance, comfort zones: completely different. anyway, if she were me, she'd drop him like a hot potato.

well, fourth time, and yes, hot potato. granted 2x the guy had good excuses, but he made no effort, none, to make it up to me in any way, shape or form. i'm difficult to upset (obviously if i'm letting him blow me off 4x and twice without any excuse) and i'm not demanding in any way. (really starting to think that i should be--seems like most guys prefer "slutty" or "demanding bitch"--since "slutty" is out, perhaps i should start giving "demanding bitch" more consideration...) so yes, i go with her advice. not really though, two of my real friends were giving the same advice without the how everyone thought they should be dating him routine in the same sentences. still as i stated, i gave this b*tch the benefit of the doubt.

she asked the next time i spoke with her and i told her that i had decided to "take her advice" and stop seeing him. bam!!! she quits calling me, she quits answering my phone calls, she quits everything--well, except bitching on my facebook about pics that have been up for over a month. she had manipulated me--although i suppose i let her, since as i said to friends all through that 4 weeks, red flag, red flag, red flag...we knew, i knew. but, i was giving her the benefit of the doubt. i also know now based on his response to some questions i asked him that she was likely playing both sides of the fence. not sure how long, from the beginning of the 4 weeks or not. don't care.

i suppose she thinks i'm a b*tch because i deleted her from my facebook friends. well, i only keep real friends on there. if you're not, you don't get included or you get dumped. like my grams used to say "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." screw her. she tried to buddy up to me the first time i saw her after i deleted her while i was with real friends. ha! as if. i was polite, but basically ignored her. she flung her chair as she left. wah. tough twinkies. she might even be mad that i dumped her but not the guy off my facebook. why should i? he didn't stab me in the back. he might not be my type if he's that easily dupped, or he might not be my type because he has a lack of follow through, or he just might not be my type because he doesn't make it priority to treat someone right. but he didn't stab me in the back. trying to manipulate me and then completely ignoring me once he'd achieved his goal. no, b*tch, you did that.

she went on and on about how she had no female friends that she trusted. umm, that's a two-way street honey. if you want trust--both trust given and able to give, well, then you don't manipulate a potential friend. especially not for a guy, who you claim you thought/think is a pompous jerk--probably because he wasn't interested in you, who is now friends with your boyfriend and his friends. a decent guy wouldn't touch another guy's woman ever anyway. that horse rode off as soon as she introduced them--at least if he's half the guy that i've observed. the fact that i didn't throw the b.s. flag immediately probably shocked her, but those that know me, know i'm pretty patient with people. to a point. but the truth is she doesn't have any female friends, because she brings it on herself. again, tough twinkies.

as for the guy, well, i've had enough drama in my life to last a lifetime. if he's really that gulliable, that's not the type of man i want anyway. nice friend--perhaps, a good friend. if he's not that gulliable, well, then, perhaps, he's like me. enough with the drama already. but so far, i've always kept my word. like someone i have a lot of respect for told me recently, if you are a certain way, you don't change that just because of someone around you trying to make you act different. you might over-react or under-react, but it'll still be basically how you'd handle a situation. his word should've been his bond regardless, and if he broke his word, then in my world, he should've made up for it. i'm thinking that a lot of people forget that who they are isn't worth much if they can't keep their word anymore. but i'm pretty sure this is why when i find people that do, i form lifelong friendships with them. good people are far rarer than i would like, but when you find them, cherish them like you'll never have another chance to find another. after a while, you find that you have a lot more around you than you imagined possible.